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I hold it in.
Tonight, when we get back, I’ll let it all out.We don’t bother getting our bags out but head right into the house after we drop Raven off.
“She thinks we used her to get to Graven,” Royce states the obvious.
I nod, looking from him to Captain.
“Why didn’t you tell her that wasn’t true?” he barks.
“Why didn’t you?” I counter and his eyes narrow.
“Man, cut the shit. We all know she’s under your skin. That means you run the Raven show. All we can do is sit back and watch.”
“Fuck was I supposed to say?” I throw my arms out and he shakes his head.
“Tell her she was wrong, tell her we like her, tell her to cut the shit and admit she likes us too.”
“This won’t turn into some fucking four-way, brother,” I ease, and he scoffs.
“Not what the fuck I meant, and you know it!”
I sigh, dragging my hands down my face. “Fuck, man. I know. She makes me fucking crazy. She’s not gonna believe it just because I say it. She’s even more untrusting than we are.”
“Yeah well, she won’t even get to consider believing it if she doesn’t get to fuckin’ hear it.”
“We really sitting here pretending? We knew having her around would help with the Graven shit,” Captain spits. “Just because we started to like having her around don’t mean there wasn’t purpose behind it in the beginning.”
“Yeah, but—”
“There is no ‘but’ as far as she’s concerned. We did what she expected. She’s not mad at us. She’s mad at herself for thinking we wanted her there instead of needing her there.”
“What should we have done then?”
“Ask for her help instead of being sneaky about it.”
“She had no reason to say yes.”
“No reason to say no either.” Captain shrugs. “She’d have done it and you know it.”
Fuck if he isn’t right.
Royce drops onto the couch. “Go fix it, Madman.”
I nod, heading upstairs for a shower, knowing damn well what Royce said a minute ago is true, she’s under my fucking skin. Problem is I haven’t decided if I’m going to let her stay there or not. Or, if she even belongs. Either way, I wanna play with Raven Carver while I decide.
I take my time showering, then get my shit from the car and put it away. By the time I’m done, it’s finally past lights out at the home, so I head down the stairs, deciding to walk down the dirt road to the Bray house.
I’m almost at the edge of the trees when the smell of weed hits my nostrils.
I clench my teeth together, knowing what I’ll fucking find when I step past the trees. And sure as fuck, there she is with a dude who must not have gotten his ass lit up good enough, Bass Bishop. They’re leaning against the shed at the edge of the guys’ home.
He’s saying some shit that has her covering her hand to muffle that husky laugh of hers and I’m ready to throat punch him.
I told her ass what would happen if I saw her with him again. I wasn’t fucking playing.
A car pulls up at the curb and they head for it, but something has her glancing back.
She scans the trees so I take the two steps forward into the light.
Her eyes shoot wide and my chin lifts.
That’s right. Busted. Now get that ass over here ...
She flips me off, and my muscles lock.
Just when I think she’s gonna slide into the seat and take the fuck off, she turns to face me.
Crossing her arms over the top of the door, she leans her chin against them, calling me over with a crook of the finger.
I was already headed for her and she damn well knows it.
Raven smirks when I plant my feet on one side of the door as she stays tucked away on the other.
“What do you say, big man, you want in?”
Now it’s me who smirks, and she rolls her eyes playfully.
I pull the door open and step against her.
Her smirk stays in place but the lungful of air she takes and holds onto, and the more her body pushes against mine gives her away.
She likes when I’m near.
“You were right. You were there to divert. You’ve been around specifically so we could climb in your head and see what your angle was, so we could use it against you first if needed. But you knew that already,” I whisper, and her eyes fly between mine. “Now ask me what’s changed since the beginning. Ask me ... what keeps me up at night, Raven.”
“I don’t wanna know.” She tries to hide her swallow.
“Yeah, you do.”
Her lips pull between her teeth as I step back.
Like Cap said, she’s not mad we used her, but she wishes she was.
She doesn’t have that tick inside her to care and she hates that about herself. She doesn’t give a damn, because she expects it. It’s fucked up, but it’s Raven.
