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His eyes dart to mine and I realize a small sound made its way up my throat.
He pops a cocky eyebrow and I shrug. Can’t deny what he so clearly heard.
But the longer he stares, the hungrier I get – not for bacon.
I slip from my bed and walk past him for the door, but he grips me by the wrist and pulls me back.
“Where you goin’?”
“Food.”
“Put some clothes on,” he orders.
“I will.” He lets go slowly and I run out the door, shouting, “Later when I need to!”
I grin to myself when he growls from the hall.
I go into the kitchen to find a huge spread already set out across the kitchen island.
“Raven.”
“Packman.” I steal a piece of bacon. “So, you the house cook when you’re not hungover?”
“We all cook.”
“Really?” I scrunch my nose, and I leap up on the stool. “Even Royce?”
“Hey!” A groggy voice comes from behind me then two arms are around me. “Heard that. And yes, even me. I happen to make a mean ass lasagna.”
I spin lightly, and he grins. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”
“How’s tonight? Just gotta ask Cap for permission to use the kitchen. He likes cooking on the weekends.” Royce kisses my hair and pulls away.
I spin back around. “Let’s make it happen, Captain.”
He scoffs. “Cute. Because I never heard that one before.”
“Where’s Maddoc?” Royce pours a glass of chocolate milk.
Right then, Maddoc enters, having slipped on some sweatpants. How the sweats look better than the boxers, no fucking clue.
He moves for the coffeepot, a regular ass Mr. Coffee one, not some fancy espresso machine or one of those one cup contraptions.
“Only one scoop today, huh?” Captain observes, and I lean against the counter to watch them move around.
But I can’t help and notice how Maddoc grows tense at his brother’s words. “Yeah.”
I look to Royce, tipping my chin at the two across the kitchen, he leans over.
“Cap leaves the coffee making to Maddoc, so he can decide how strong he wants it.”
When I make a face that screams as if that explains it, he chuckles and leans over again.
Maddoc’s eyes meet mine right as Royce whispers, “Maddoc don’t sleep.” He laughs lightly like it’s a silly superpower.
It’s not, but you can’t fault Royce for thinking so.
People who can lay their heads down and fall asleep with ease don’t understand the struggle or how bad those of us who can’t wish we could.
They don’t know what it’s like to lay awake at night and replay minutes of your life, wondering what you could or should have done differently. Or how you could be better at something or fearing what comes next. Sometimes it’s even as simple as playing a movie back in your head, anything to fill the hours.
Time is not your friend when your mind is at the point of exhaustion.
Maddoc’s eyes bounce between mine.
So, big man doesn’t normally sleep well, yet I know for a fact he did each time I’ve shared sheets with him. Something unwelcome settles in my chest so I look away.
“What’s up for today?” Royce asks and Maddoc breaks our stare.
“Shooting hoops with Richards at noon, he needs to clean up his free throws,” Maddoc tells him.
“I’m there.” Royce nods.
“I’ll come by after if you’re still out,” Captain adds.
Maddoc nods, but nobody says what “after” is referring to.
I don’t ask.
“You’re coming with us, Raven.”
I fill a plate and move for the table. “Can’t wait.” I roll my eyes.
There’s no way I’ll be able to get out alone to talk to Bass today and be able to slip out for a fight this weekend. I have no fucking choice but to give my mom the money I saved from my last two fights, which will leave me low but not completely dry. I’ll already have to pull some shit just to meet her and hand it over.
After breakfast, everyone disappears into their rooms to change and we meet back at the door a few minutes later.
Royce and Maddoc are donned in basketball shorts and tank tops – hot. As. Fuck. But Captain, he’s got a gym bag over his shoulder, yes, but he’s wearing nice jeans and a fresh white shirt. He’s sporting a fresh shave and his hair is on point, a nice little sideswipe, but the swaggy kind. Not revenge of the nerds.
“You look good.” I let my eyes trail over him, before meeting his. “Hot date?”
A small grin finds his lips. “See you later, Raven.”
I nod, not at all sure that’s a yes or a no.
When I turn to the others, I find Maddoc frowning.
“What?”
“Change.”
“Change...” I trail off and then I get it and I cross my arms. “Funny. Are we going or not?”
“We’re going.” His eyes narrow. “After you change.”
“Say it.”
“Say what?” he forces out through clenched teeth.
“Tell me what’s wrong with what I have on if you want me to change. Learn to use your words instead of that mean mug you’ve perfected, big man.”
