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My eyes squeeze shut, and I lift my hand to grip his forearm.
Sweet Captain.
I should take him up on his offer, go and put this place behind me. Let them heal together instead of hurt apart.
It’s what I intended to do all along, but things are different than they were when I got here. To leave here wouldn’t only be abandoning them, it would also be turning my back on the home I never knew I had. This is where I am supposed to be, in this town with these people. With them.
With him?
Could be. Had Perkins taken his son when Captain’s mother was killed, Graven would have two princes for the pawn to choose between, Collins or Captain.
Maybe everything played out backward. Maybe it was never supposed to be Maddoc but Captain all along.
The secret Brayshaw and the secret Graven.
I shake my head at myself.
Pretending to believe that, even for a second, is wrong on every level.
My loving Maddoc wasn’t by mistake.
It was inevitable.
We were inevitable.
Still, none of this changes where we are right now.
I open my eyes and Captain’s drop but I squeeze, and they slide right back to mine.
“You’ve never lied to your brothers, Cap, you won’t be starting now, and definitely not because of me.”
“Raven—”
I shake my head, cutting him off. “I’m not leaving. I don’t want to,” I assure him. “Shit, even if I did, I couldn’t.”
“We’re doing to you what your mom did your whole life. Treating you like a damn throwaway.”
“Not even close. My mom never sacrificed a damn thing for me. She’s selfish, self-centered and as greedy as they come. You three are so opposite of all those things it’s not even funny. Just look at you, Cap. Look where you are right now, ready to give up everything you ever wanted just to make my life a little easier.”
“We would do anything for you, always.”
“I know.” I nod. “And even if you didn’t offer yourself up to them, if Maddoc refused to accept it or if Royce demanded a different outcome, I’d have stayed, married Collins just so I could be in the same place as you guys.”
I offer a small smile, continuing, “It is exactly why Donley still wanted me after he found out I wasn’t a virgin. It’s why your dad brought me to you guys first instead of giving me to them directly. Maybe their reasons came from different places, but they both came to the same conclusion.”
“What conclusion?”
“That I’d walk through fire if it kept you guys from getting burnt. Your dad wanted me to grow close to you guys so when I was passed over, someone on the Donley side would be looking out for you three. Donley wanted me because, for the first time, he felt he was taking something of value from Brayshaw.
“In his eyes, having me meant he had power over all of you, over this town and the Brayshaw name. I mean, think about it, Cap. He wanted my mom as a virgin bride who loved her future husband, yet he was willing to take me used and force me to marry Collins if he had to?” I shake my head. “He only wanted me because he knew, if he dangled any of you in front of me, I could be played as his puppet, do whatever he asked when asked. Be his little doll.”
Captain steps closer. “You won’t be a doll, or trophy, or side fixture. You will be treated with nothing but respect from every person in every room everywhere no matter where we find ourselves through this, I promise you.”
“You don’t even have to say it, Cap. I know, and I trust you.”
Captain moves his hands to my biceps. “I don’t... what do we do about...”
Maddoc.
Pressure builds behind my eyes, an ache taking form in my chest, so I give a small shrug.
Captain’s face contorts, pain and affliction laced through every inch of him.
I’m sure his loss hurts as much as mine, maybe even worse if such a thing exists.
My mind won’t stop racing, and what it keeps leading me to both settles and stings in some way.
There’s no longer such a thing as a good move, only an easier one, and what I’m thinking is easier, but not for me.
For him. For Royce.
I drop my eyes to the concrete beneath me. “I’ve been thinking. I know we can’t do anything about what happens later, how we feel or react in situations, but ... I think we can save us all from a lot of unnecessary grief.” I meet his stare.
He studies me, and after a minute, agrees. “I think you’re right.” He hesitates a moment before saying, “I know someone who can help.”
“Now?”
His forehead tightens, but he nods.
“Make the call, Cap.”I didn’t sleep, but when the sun refuses to be ignored any longer, I open my eyes, meeting Captain’s sleepy ones beside me.
