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Her eyes soften. “You made a choice when the alternative was something you couldn’t live with, he did the same thing. He’d understand.”
I swallow, shouldering past her, but she grips my elbow, spinning me back around.
I yank free from her hand, pushing her as hard as I can in the chest.
She flies back, slamming against the bed tray and knocking all the shit on it to the floor.
The loud crash has one of the boys yanking on the locked door handle.
The banging follows, shouts from all of them after that.
I glare. “Are you saying this just so you can have him?”
“I’m saying it because it’s the truth and you know it.” She glares back.
I get in her face, fighting to hold back the moisture burning behind my eyelids. “What am I supposed to say to him,” I hiss. “Hm? How do I tell him I want out?” I force past clenched teeth, my entire body shaking. “That I need out. That I never should have fucking agreed to this, ever. That we were all wrong and we should have fought from the beginning? That I can’t be his wife because I will never be his and I don’t want to be?”
She swallows, but her eyes only sharpen more and she pushes off her elbows, standing before me, my hands shooting out to grip her wrist when she lifts it.
Her palm opens, letting me know she wasn’t trying for anything.
“You tell him just like that, Raven,” she says strongly. “Word for fucking word. He needs you to say it.”
He needs words...
My jaw starts to tremble, so I clamp it shut to stop it.
Keys clank in the hall, and the door flies open, too many footsteps to count shuffling in, each one halting at the entrance.
“You can do this,” she whispers, eyes firm.
“What if I told you I was afraid?” I force out in a shaky whisper.
She licks her lips, her eyes moving over my shoulder. “I’d say you’re human after all.”
Mine tighten with my grip before I shove her away.
“Bass,” I rasp, knowing he’s in here without looking.
One set of footsteps grow closer.
“Victoria could use a walk, see her out?”
Her eyes slide between mine, unsure.
Bass takes a step closer, but Victoria’s head snaps his way. “Touch me and I’ll crush your nuts,” she snaps, she shoulders past me, not looking back as she steps out.
I stand there facing the wall opposite of them as long as they allow, only turning around when my name is called.
With each pair of eyes met, heaviness falls on my shoulders to the point I have to sit.
I look to Captain, who stands there in his gown, eyes slowly shifting from the floor to me, but then I notice the pressure with which he’s gripping the rolling IV machine and motion for his bed.
A frown hits his brows and he stands taller as if he has to prove his strength.
He doesn’t.
“Sit down, Captain. You’ve been standing a long time.”
“I’m good,” he assures me, then looks me over. “I could use some of my own fucking clothes, too, though.”
I nod. “Maybell brought something for all of us,” I pause. “Or for us three...” My eyes fly to Maddoc’s, and the move alone almost crushes me on the spot.
His hands open and close at his sides, and he can’t keep eye contact. His deep, sharp inhales and exhales causing a sting in my own chest.
“Because I wasn’t here,” he growls at himself, his head falling back. He takes a quick glance at me down his nose but then squeezes his eyes shut and spins around where he stands. I stare at the back of him as his hand comes up to cover his mouth.
He feels guilty, like this is all his fault.
“Royce,” Cap says slowly, almost unsure. “Help me out?”
“I can help you,” I rush out, the slight croak in my voice giving away the panic flaring in my gut.
My eyes land on Maddoc’s back, and sure as shit, his head falls, his hands coming up to cross behind his neck.
Royce grabs the shit from Captain’s bag before making his way to me.
He drops in front of me on the bed, his eyes tight, lips pinched flat. “I’m so mad at you, RaeRae,” he whispers, shaking his head. “I should have been with you for all that shit. Not Bass fucking Bishop. Me. Someone who loves you, someone who could have held you, helped you, fuck I don’t know...” His voice trails off. “Something.”
I lean forward gently touching my forehead to his, ignoring the sting from the bruising there. “You did,” I whisper, and his eyes lift to mine, our foreheads still touching. “If it wasn’t you who walked in the bathroom when I was talking to Maybell, I would have broke. Nobody would have done in that moment but you. You didn’t push me, didn’t ask me any questions, you were just there, which is exactly what I needed.”
