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I give him a kind smile. “Hi, Vance.”
I step over closer, and Luke’s eyes crack open.
“Hi—” I start, but his eyes slip shut. I check out his face. He looks frailer. His short hair is pushed back off his forehead, and his lips look slightly chapped. “Poor Luke. He looks like he’s been through it.” My eyes move over Vance. “You too.” He looks almost worse than PL—all vampire pale with raccoon circles around his eyes.
“How is he? And how are you?” I rub my lips together, trying not to cry at how un-Vance he seems—so tired and somber.
“It’s okay.” He puts a hand over his forehead, gets a deep breath. He rubs his pale-looking lips together. “He’s just been asleep…you know. He was in a lot of pain—” his voice cracks on that word— “when we first came. So it’s a good thing I guess. That he’s sleeping.” He swallows. “They’re gonna check his lungs out in a little while. Try to get rid of the oxygen.”
I already know all this. I’m Luke’s designated health care proxy. I have been since last year, when Mrs. McDowell became too immobile to do it. After me, it’s Arman. He’s a pediatric dentist, but he and Luke get along well, and Luke likes the way he thinks. It makes extra sense, because if Luke and I are traveling and we both got hurt, Arman could just come make decisions for the both of us.
I’ve been talking to the doctors since Vance brought Luke to the ER. When they asked me about Luke’s half brother, Vance Smith, I backed it up.
Over the last forty-eight hours, while I tried to get back home from Spain, I’ve only called twice, so I knew PL was out of ICU, but not much more.
“That’s really good.”
Vance’s face looks so much thinner. He’s all eyes, as if he’s watching me and waiting for the moment that I’ll ask him: “Why are you here?”
I step over by the bed. I want to touch PL, but also, “I don’t want to disturb him.”
Luke’s eyes lift back open. His face is so pale, by far paler than I’ve ever seen him. He looks like he’s lost fifteen or twenty pounds.
He stares at me—he looks grumpy—and I give him a little smile. “Hi, friend.”
His gaze moves behind me. He’s looking for Vance—and Vance must know that PL wants him near, because he comes in closer, leans down a little, and murmurs, “Hey there, man.”
Luke looks at him like he thinks that Vance will tell him something with his eyes.
“You’re okay,” Vance says quietly. “We’re all just chilling.”
Luke’s mouth twitches—the sad echo of a smile—and his eyelids shut. When Vance looks back at me, he looks visibly nervous.
“I’m so sorry, Vance. That you came over and you had to find him that way. He told me before I left for Spain that he was feeling a lot better. Just taking some time off to see his mom and do some other things. He had gotten sick on the trip. Couldn’t sleep. You might know how he is since you’re his friend.”
When I say that, Vance’s eyes well up with tears. His face seems frozen—like he knows that if he so much as breathes, the tears will fall and never stop.
“Vance.” I wave him closer to the door, away from the bed. We stand partially behind a recliner, and he works his jaw. “I know you said you were his brother. You’re not his brother. But you’re something.”
He looks at the floor. He inhales deeply, shuts his eyes. “It doesn’t matter, Pearl.” His voice is ragged.
Up close to him like this, I notice he hasn’t shaved. He smells like he could use a shower. He looks down at his shoes. When he looks back up at me, his eyes are haunted.
“Sorry.” He swallows and tries to smile, his eyebrows lifting in a vain effort to sell me. “I just need to step in the men’s room. Had to for a while.”
When he comes out a minute later, he looks gathered.
A nurse comes in. “Just a vitals check.”
I give Vance’s shirt a light tug. “Let’s step outside.”
When we get out into the hall, he looks back down. He’s doing the clenched jaw thing again. His eyes are on our feet. He won’t look up at me.
“Vance? Are you okay?”
His eyes swing up to meet mine. Bloodshot. “Just tired.”
“I want to tell you some things. About Luke,” I whisper. “Is that okay?”
I look around. The hall seems empty. Vance shrugs with one shoulder, and I step in just a little closer, so I’m able to be heard while keeping my voice low.
“Luke hired me in January 2015. He had just gotten the big job. He did so well with it. I think he just…rose up. The church was growing fast. His podcasts and his books already had an audience. The position elevated him, though. And I felt like he elevated Evermore. He worked like a machine that the whole year. We both did.
