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“Most is old, but with drones, you never know what they can pick up. You guys have a lot of interest with the resurrection of the making and selling of that drug again.”

Reed types something on the phone and hands it to Frosty.

“My gift.”

Frosty starts plugging in his shit and at last, I can breathe. It’s labored but I don’t think that’s from Blade anymore. The adrenaline’s making my head buzz and veins tingle. I lean over to Reed.

“Who’s the fucking rat?”

I sound demented because I am. My mind is not dealing well and the longer Frosty takes, the more I want to climb over the table and—

“You need to get your shit together,” he says. “This is not something you can lose your mind over. I think Blade has it all planned out.”

I hold up my hand for him to stop talking. Reed shrugs as he pulls out a chair to sit next to me.

The speakers are turned on and my dead uncle’s voice, Blade’s father, speaks clear as a bell about a certain bike he wanted painted. It’s like I’m stuck in one of my nightmares that I can’t wake up from. My body is so tight I can feel the muscles in my neck and shoulders cramping.

I look at Blade because I need him. I’ve forgotten this is his cross to bear too. Our eyes meet and he folds his arms.

“Move on,” he demands, and Frosty types in something.

And Chuck—or Chuckie is what we called him as a kid—my cousin, one of the best men I knew, talks about how he wants to pull back on Satan’s Seeds buying extra drugs. This is all a conversation he’s having with Lucky who says he’ll talk to Tank.

The next one is Axel and Chuck talking about someone named Amanda’s tits.

“Motherfucker.” Axel stands up. The usual arrogant look on his face is gone as he goes to the window to look out.

“Turn it off,” he yells and the room crackles with energy. “Do you know who the rat is?”

“Take it easy, Axel,” Blade warns.

“Play three twenty-one.” Reed looks up at the ceiling. Time stands still, like a slow-moving clock that’s almost run down its battery.

Frosty looks to Blade, awaiting his response. Blade scans the room of brothers. He leans his fist on the table, his eyes dark. “We stick to our plan. First, we take down Satan’s Seeds’ warehouse. I want it done by the morning. Then I’ll call Church and we will deal with the rat.”

“Rats,” Reed interrupts.

All of us turn to him and Blade lowers himself into the chair and starts to tap his blade on the old butcher block conference table. I stand and walk to the file cabinet in front of our safe.

“There was more than one?” Blade has always been big on loyalty. You’re either his brother and he’ll die for you, or you’re not and he’ll kill you.

I, on the other hand, have always known that there are truly bad people. Some even evil and given a chance, they strike at your weakest point. Much like a deadly snake, they can and will cause damage and take you down if they can. Moving the cabinet away, I use my thumbprint and the door swings open.

“Play it,” Blade hisses. I reach inside the safe and grab a Glock, some bullets, and a knife. I wait for the voice, need the voice.

Like the junkie I am, I want it, crave it. I’m seeing blood and I haven’t even started.

Blade wants to wait. I won’t.

I will sacrifice myself easily for them. A vision of golden eyes with inky black hair floats through my mind. This is why I never should have started with her. But regrets are pointless today…

Frosty types on his laptop and I slam the safe shut as all eyes look at me then back to Frosty. Static fills the quiet room. Then I hear a man. His voice is not clear, but he must speak more closely into the phone because I’m there, back to that day and that moment I want back so very badly. Those seconds that disappeared, that I was robbed of.

“Dude, it’s ready… Jackal says go, but we got a problem…”

“What problem? I gave you everything you need, fucking spoon-fed you guys. How can there be a fucking problem?”

“David’s not there. It’s his baby momma and she’s inside with his baby girl…”Silence…

“Take them out, take them all out. Do it now before we miss the chance…”

I’m sure there’s more conversation, but I know whose voice that is.

I’ve had him at every birthday party since the day I was born. He’s been like a second father. He mourned with me…

“David, we’re all in shock. Let’s take a moment.” Blade stands before me holding up his hands as I look down at my own. I’m gripping the Glock, and the weird sound I’m hearing is coming from me.

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