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“Whatever you need to do. If you need me after Saturday, I’ll be there.”
She doesn’t even question him. Just nods.
Teller picks up his phone and starts checking for flights.
“I can do it,” Hope says.
“Please. Let me do something. I feel fucking useless.”
Teller can’t get us on a flight until later that night. And it leaves from Boston. So we basically have enough time to run up to the property, throw some clothes in a bag, and have Rock drive us to the airport.
Penny hasn’t stopped crying since she hung up the phone. We’ve been sitting on my living room floor watching the news for hours. I have Alexa propped up on her Boppy pillow in front of me playing with her toys. She’s quieter than usual, as if she knows something’s wrong.
Me, I don’t know what I am. Numb? Guilty? Angry?
At the moment, I land on angry. Axel’s company has confirmed five workers were killed, six injured, and seventeen still missing. They’ve also started subtly shifting the blame to two other companies involved in the project. The news keeps talking about a ruptured pipeline and gallons of crude oil that were spilled. Experts talk about risk management and how there hasn’t been an accident of this magnitude in five years.
No one mentions the families who are sitting on the floors of their darkened apartments waiting to hear news. Some news. Any news.
Hope called me from Los Angeles where she said there was an hour layover. She gave me a time but asked me to stay at the apartment. She said she’d rent a car when they get here.
I don’t ask who came with her. I assume it’s Rock. I can’t think beyond that.
After dropping the news of his “promotion” in my lap before leaving, I’ve been furious with Axel. I hate that we left on such bad terms. We spoke briefly yesterday, and I’d sent him a picture of Alexa and me before I tucked her into bed last night, but it doesn’t feel like enough.
Penny sniffles and looks up. “God, Heidi, what if they’re disfigured or disabled or something horrible?”
“Then we deal with it and thank God they’re still with us.”
She snaps her mouth shut at my sharp tone and focuses on the television again. A few minutes later, there’s a commotion out in the hallway.
“I better check in case that’s his parents,” she says.
“Go ahead. You know where I’ll be.”
Alexa gets a quick kiss before Penny runs out.
I end up dozing for a few minutes before my phone wakes me. I’m almost afraid to answer it, fearing what might lie on the other end.
I need a lot of coffee when we finally make it off the plane. Keeping Hope upright helps me focus. She’s even more exhausted than I am.
The guy at the rental car counter gives me lip when I point out we reserved a large SUV and he tries to hand me the keys to some shitty little subcompact. “Hope, can you go look up that receipt for me?” I ask nodding to a quiet corner. She gives me a curious look but does as I ask.
As soon as she’s out of hearing range, I lean over the desk. “Listen, asshole. You know that explosion that’s all over the news?” I nod at the television that’s been covering nothing but the oil spill since we walked in here. “My friend’s husband was on that rig, and I’m here to help her out. I just traveled thirteen fucking hours to get here. Don’t fuck with me.” I figure it’s better to go with a generic threat before I give him the details about what I’m going to do to him if he doesn’t straighten this out.
His bored expression turns into a pale-faced stare quick. “Give me a minute.”
Christ.
“Sir, all I have left is an Infiniti QX80, from our Prestige Collection.”
“Perfect.” I slap down my credit card and he raises an eyebrow. I guess my scruffy appearance has him doubting whether I can afford the prissy SUV. I flick my license across the counter. “I don’t have all night, dude. Move it along.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Jesus Christ.”
“Did you threaten him sufficiently?” Hope teases, sneaking up behind me.
“Not even close.”
“If you’re tired, I can drive,” she offers.
The face I make clearly says that’s not happening. “I got ya, First Lady.”
After lots more waiting, our vehicle’s finally ready. Hope reads me the directions, and we find our way to Heidi’s. “Here, Spruce Loop.”
I pull into a modest apartment community. At least, from what I can tell, it’s in a nice area. Looks safe, anyway. That had been my biggest concern with Heidi on her own so much up here.
Hope makes a comment that echoes my thoughts, and I give her a tired smile.
“Here, this one,” she points to a spot in front of building seventy-six.
We trudge up the stairs and knock on the door. Heidi answers teary-faced and hiccupping.
Hope rushes in and gives her a big hug while Heidi clings to her and cries even harder. I stand there feeling useless and unsure what I should do.
“Blake, you came?”
“Yeah,” I answer lamely.
“Thank you.” She lets go of Hope and gives me a hug. She’s so small and warm in my arms, I want to pick her up, cuddle her, and make all the bad stuff in her life disappear.
“I just got a call. Still nothing.”
Hope moves to the couch to pick up Alexa while Heidi and I say hello. “Hi, baby,” she coos and makes silly voices at her until Alexa laughs.
I glance down at Heidi, still not ready to let go of her. “Are you okay?” I ask.
“No. Not at all.”
I don’t know what to say. We’ve both lived through enough bad stuff that saying stupid shit like “it’s okay” or “don’t worry, they’ll find him” is pointless.
Heidi sways to the side and I put my arm out to steady her. “Whoa, you all right?”
“Just tired.”
Hope glances up at me. The whole trip, we never discussed where we were staying.
“Hope, you can sleep in my room. I have a daybed in Alexa’s room I can use. Murphy—”
“I’m fine on the couch.”
“Good, because I’m out of beds.”
I crack a smile because that sounds more like my Heidi.
“I don’t want to kick you out of your room, Heidi. I can—”
“Don’t worry about it, Hope. I’ve slept in there plenty of times.”
There’s a lot of information in that sentence that my tired, caveman brain can’t pick apart right now. Another time.
After Hope goes to bed, I try to settle into the couch. I keep the television on in case the news story changes. I’m half-asleep when Alexa’s screams yank me awake.
Should I check on them?
I’m up and moving through the apartment before my brain really answers the question.
Alexa settles down as I reach her door. “Shhh, baby. It’s okay,” Heidi says in a sleepy-hushed voiced.
Pushing open her door, I find her feeding Alexa and look away. “You two need anything?” I ask the ceiling.
She chuckles at my discomfort. “We’re fine. Thanks, though. Are you comfortable out there?”
“I’m fine.”
“You can shut the television off. I have my phone on in case they call.”
“All right. You’re sure you’re good?”
“Yes. But, thank you.”
I leave them be and finally manage to fall asleep.
A few hours later, someone’s banging on the door. Completely disoriented, it takes me a few minutes to remember where I am.
Door. Answer it.
An older couple scowls at me on the other side. “Who are you?”
The uppity tone reminds me of Axel, so I’m guessing this is his dad.
“Friend of Heidi’s from home.”
The mother sniffs and looks me over. From my wild slept-on-the-couch hair, scruffy beard, to my bare feet. “Mr. and Mrs. Ryan?”
They seem surprised I know who they a
re. “I’m a friend of Axel’s, too.” A bit of a lie, but there’s no one around to call me on it, now is there?
They pull the sticks out of their asses and decide it’s safe to come in.
“Oh, hi, Mrs. Ryan. Mr. Ryan,” Heidi greets them as she joins us, carrying Alexa. It’s not lost on me that she’s not on a first-name basis with her in-laws. Not a surprise, since Axel’s mom has to be the coldest woman I’ve met in a damn long time. She barely blinks in Alexa’s direction. Don’t grandmothers usually get all mushy over their grandbabies?
“Hi,” Hope says.
Heidi introduces her as her “Aunt Hope,” which is cute.
Axel’s mother finally snaps. “Enough with the introductions. I don’t care who these people are. Where’s our son, Heidi?”
Well, now.
I understand why the woman’s upset, but she has no business taking it out on her daughter-in-law. Before I cause a scene, I wait to see how Heidi handles it.
Heidi hoists the baby higher and rubs her hand over the back of Alexa’s head. Then she straightens up, lifts her chin and answers calmly, “I don’t know yet. I’m still waiting for news from his company.”
“What do you mean you don’t know?” she yells.
I hold up a hand. “Hey—”
“It’s fine, Blake,” Heidi says without looking at me. Hope moves in and slips her arm around Heidi’s shoulders, giving her support and leaving me free to beat the crap out of Axel’s parents if they snap at Heidi again.
“What have they told you so far?” the father asks.
Heidi recounts every detail, which isn’t a whole lot. They only seem more agitated when she can’t answer their questions.
“Do you want to sit down?” Hope asks.
“No,” Mrs. Ryan snaps.
“Thank you,” Mr. Ryan says, clamping his hand over his wife’s arm and dragging her to the couch.
Heidi flips the television on. “I was watching for updates, but it’s just the same stuff over and over.”
Alexa squeals and flails her hands around. Heidi leans in and kisses her cheek. “I know, baby,” she murmurs against her face, just loud enough for me to hear because I’m standing directly behind her. Both grandparents continue to ignore all the other cute, gurgly baby noises Alexa makes.
This couldn’t be more awkward.
“It’s amazing, she looks nothing like Axel,” the mother says to her husband, jerking her chin in Alexa’s direction.
I guess it could get more awkward.
“No. She looks exactly like Heidi did at that age,” I answer.
All three of them turn and stare at me. “Didn’t your brother give you those photos?” I ask Heidi.
“Uh, yeah.” She points to a shelf next to the television, and I spot what she’s asking for right away. Side-by-side baby photos of Heidi and Alexa. Someone had them framed and labeled “baby Heidi” and “baby Alexa.” I hand it to Heidi, who leans over to show it to the Ice Queen.
“Axel had this made for me for Christmas.”
Can a nod be snotty? Because this woman’s quick head bob is full of uppitiness. “That’s nice, dear.”
Who actually talks like that?
I’m really not liking the way this bitch seems to be implying Alexa isn’t Axel’s kid.
During a break in the news, they throw more questions about the accident at Heidi. Questions she doesn’t have answers for.
When one of the hotline numbers scrolls across the bottom of the screen, the mother snaps at Heidi, “Why aren’t you at the headquarters with all the other family members?”
Heidi explains to them, the same way she did to us last night, “I didn’t think it was a good place for Alexa to be. The representative I spoke to said she’d call as soon as she had news.”
The mother sniffs and glares at her husband who pats her hand. “She’s right. There’s nothing we can do there that can’t be done here.”
Oh, great. I guess that means they’re sticking around.
“Can I make you breakfast? Or do you want something to drink?” Hope offers on her way to the kitchen.
They both shake their heads and things go back to awkward.
Someone knocks—well bangs—on the door. I open it and Penny jumps back. “Shit, Murphy, right? What are you doing here?”
I don’t bother answering, just let her in.
“Oh, Heidi!”
“What?” Heidi jumps up and rushes over to meet her friend. “Did you hear something?”
“Lucas. They found him. He’s at the hospital. I’m supposed meet his mom and dad there.”
“Oh, thank God. He’s okay?”
“No. I guess it’s really bad.” Penny’s lip trembles and she squeezes Heidi’s arm. “Lucas worked on the platform, so he got thrown into the water with the blast…” Penny trails off and Heidi bursts into tears.
I don’t understand what the significance of that is, and now isn’t the time to ask. The two girls sob together. Hope comes out of the kitchen to see what’s going on and takes Alexa. She talks quietly to the two of them for a few minutes before Penny leaves.
“This is ridiculous. Sitting around waiting here. We’re going down to headquarters,” Axel’s mother announces. His father shrugs and gives us a weak wave.
“We’ll call you if we find something out, Heidi,” he says before shutting the door.
“Friendly in-laws, Bug.”
“They don’t care for me.” She shrugs and grabs Alexa from Hope. “Whatever. Axel hates them.”
That explains why it was no big deal for him to move all the way to Alaska.
“I always wondered why his sister moved all the way out to California. But now I know.”
“Yeah, I remember him telling me about her,” I say. “She’s got kids, too, right?”
“Yup.”
“Are they that cold to her kids?”
“Don’t know.” She lifts Alexa up. “We don’t really care, do we?” she asks in a playful, silly voice. Alexa laughs and kicks her little legs in the air, clearly not giving a fuck what her grandparents think of her.
“Well, breakfast is ready,” Hope says. She takes Heidi’s elbow, pulling her into the kitchen. “You need to eat something.”
A few hours later, we get the official call. Given the nature of the explosion, and the extreme water temperatures, the probability of finding any other workers alive after all this time is considered highly improbable.
Sometimes the road we fear the most, is the one that takes us home.
I can’t leave Alaska without saying goodbye to Lucas. Hope says she’ll stay at the apartment with Alexa, and Murphy drives me to the hospital.
The last few days have been horrible. No, horrible isn’t enough. No words cover what I’m feeling.
The worst has been dealing with Axel’s parents. Subtly blaming me for him taking this job. I finally got fed up and explained in lengthy detail how much I hated it here and how Axel dragged me up here, not the other way around.
I’m pretty sure Murphy has been plotting their deaths and drew a map of where he plans to dump their bodies before we leave for home.
He’s quiet the entire ride, and I don’t have it in me to come up with any small talk.
“I’ll wait in the car,” he says when we finally find a parking spot.
My hand’s on the door, about to push it open, but I fall back in my seat. “Oh.”
“Shit. I’m sorry. Do you want me to come in with you?”
“If you don’t mind.”
He opens his door and hurries to my side, offering me a hand. I’m limp and drained. So damn tired, I end up leaning on him. “You okay?” he asks.
“No.”
His jaw clenches, but he’s quiet as we cross the parking lot. At the sliding glass doors, I stop and pull Murphy to the side. “Are you mad at me?”
“What? No. Why would you think that?”
“You’re so quiet.”
He takes one of my hands and doesn’t speak ag
ain until I meet his gaze. “Heidi, I want to make everything better for you and I don’t know how. That’s all.”
“Oh.” Tears wet my lashes and I try to blink them away. “Having you here, helping me with packing up the apartment, and all the other small details. It makes it easier. I don’t know what I would have done if you and Hope hadn’t come.”
He nods, but his serious expression never changes. His hand settles on my lower back and he guides me inside the hospital. “Come on, let’s see your friend.”
“Are you coming in with me?”
“I should probably wait outside the room. I’ve never really met the kid.”
Clearing the air between us helped. A little.
We find our way to Lucas’s unit. Barely more than a sheet separates his bed from the patients on either side of him. “Lucas?” I call out before entering.
I’ve worked in a hospital and unfortunately spent a lot of time in hospitals visiting injured family members. None of that prepared me for seeing Lucas, and I try not to gasp when I take him in.
“It’s not as bad as it looks, Heidi,” he rasps in a voice I barely recognize.
I take a deep breath and force a smile. “Is this your new method of picking up chicks?”
He snorts and rolls his head toward the window. “Might as well. Penny left me.”
“What?”
“It’s fine. Good to know she wasn’t down for the sickness and health part before we got married, right?”
Even in his condition, he’s trying to joke with me, so I laugh even though it’s the last thing I feel like doing.
“What are you going to do?”
“My parents are staying.”
“I…I’m headed home. I can’t stay here by myself.”
“Christ, Heidi. I’m so fucking sorry. This is my fault. If I hadn’t dragged you guys up here, Axel would, well, he’d—”
Pain’s etched all over his face, and I settle my hand on his shoulder to calm him. “It’s not your fault. He wanted to visit Alaska way before you ever took the job here.”
The small lie seems to comfort him, so I don’t waste energy feeling guilty about it.
