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Z growls and buries his face against my neck. “Careful.”
I can’t help it. I don’t want to do the jealous girl thing. But I also don’t want him to think I’m blind and stupid.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt you,” I glance over at the girl who’s still watching us.
Z turns his head and stares at her for a moment before squeezing his eyes shut. When he opens them again, they’re clear and wiped clean of any emotion.
“That is over.” He grips the tops of my arms, holding me in place. “Over,” he repeats.
“Does she know?”
His jaw clenches. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“None of your business.”
“You don’t have to change your whole life because of me, Z.”
“Let me worry about rearranging my life.”
“Is she your girlfriend?” God, why don’t I ask him to stab me in the chest? It would probably hurt less.
“No.”
“But she was?”
He refuses to answer.
“When did it end?”
“Don’t keep questioning me, Lilly. You’re not going to like the answers I give you.”
He’s probably right.
Seventeen
Z
Are all women nuts?
My brothers toss this question around from time-to-time. Not in front of their ol’ ladies, of course. I never paid much attention because I never planned to get tangled up with any one woman long enough to experience the crazy.
Today, I’ve had my fill.
I’m also harder than a damn sledgehammer and would love nothing more than to peel Lilly’s pants off and fuck her right up against her car.
“Jealousy’s hot on you,” I whisper.
“I’m not jealous.” She finally succeeds in yanking herself out of my grasp and this time I let her go.
“Can I say hi to him before you leave?” I pin her with a stern look. “I assume you haven’t been by the hospital yet?”
“No,” she answers without looking at me.
I reach out and touch her cheek. “No? A couple bucks got you so riled up you forgot what you were supposed to be doing today?”
She’s not in a joking mood and I should probably stop teasing her.
She squeezes the envelope in her fist and glares at me.
“Don’t you dare,” I warn. “I’m taking care of my son. Stick it in his piggy bank if you don’t want it.”
Finally, she rolls her eyes. “Piggy bank,” she scoffs. “He’s two.”
“Never too early to start saving.”
She huffs and shakes her head. “You’re annoying.”
“You love every second.” Turning away from her, I open the back door and lean in over the back seat. “Hey, buddy.”
“Hi, Thee!” He waves a green metal tractor at me and picks up the book on the seat next to him—also with a green tractor on the front. “I’m gonna farm!” he announces.
“Cool.” I nod to the tractor. “My buddy has a tractor just like that. I can ask him if we can go for a ride on it sometime.”
“Now?”
I laugh and shake my head. “Not today, but soon. Promise.”
I hold out my hand and he slaps it. “I’ll see you two a little later, okay?”
“Otay!”
After I shut the door, Lilly squints at me. “Who do you know with a tractor?”
“I know lots of people, darlin’.”
“Don’t call me that.”
I drop the attitude. “Teller bought a place for him and his girl not too far from the clubhouse. Has a lot of land he’s been clearing. Bought a tractor and everything. He’ll let me take Chance out on it.”
“Oh.”
“I’ll never make promises to him I can’t keep, Lilly.”
She nods. “I know you won’t.”
“Good.”
She flicks her gaze at the back door. Fortunately, Stella’s gone. Either she left or went inside. Wherever she went, I don’t care. “I’m sor—”
I place my finger over her lips, cutting off her apology. Truth is, I’m glad she stopped by.
I appreciate that Lilly’s not eager to drag me into court to bleed me for child support and I sure as fuck love how fired up she gets when she’s pissed. I don’t love making her jealous, but I can’t deny I’m pleased that she gives a damn.
“I’ll see you a little later.”
“Okay.”
I probably shouldn’t, but I pat her ass as she climbs into her car.
She shakes her head and laughs.
Chance waves at me as they drive away, and I already miss him.
As much as I wasn’t bothered by Lilly dropping by unannounced, I still have things to take care of before I can get out of here.
Besides dealing with Stella, I promised Dex I’d stick around long enough for Malik to take an actual dinner break for once.
Amused by Lilly’s visit and irritated she had to go, I storm inside the back door of Crystal Ball. It takes my eyes a second to adjust to the “mood lighting” of the hallway and my ears to filter out anything but the throbbing bass. That’s my excuse for not seeing the bag flying at my midsection.
Thump. Something heavy hits me in the gut, stopping me in my tracks. “What the fuck?”
“Why didn’t you tell me you had a baby mama?” Stella shrieks.
Damn, got no problem hearing her over the club music.
I grab her arm and shove her into my office, slamming the door behind us.
“Is she your wife, your old lady, or whatever you guys call them? You’ve been cheating on her with me?”
Huh? “What do you care? You’ve been clear all along we’re not a couple.”
“You and I have an understanding.” She pokes me in the chest. “But I bet you never told her about me. Cheating asshole.”
I swear the last few days of my life feel like I’m living in the Twilight Zone.
“Is that why you don’t want to see me anymore? She found you out?”
I circle my hands around her wrists, holding them down at her sides in case she tries to whack me again. “She’s none of your business. And no, we’re not together. I never lied to you.”
Finally, she calms down. “Oh. You just looked…and that little boy…”
“It’s complicated.”
“So, he is your son?”
“Yeah.”
Shaking out of my grasp, she settles her hand on my shoulder and adopts a totally different attitude. In the beginning I found Stella interesting, now the way she swings from one extreme to the other is just exhausting.
“Listen, Z, I like you a lot. And if I was going to give up my career for anyone, it’d be you, but I’m not interested in kids.”
No one asked you to be. “Uh, okay.”
“I hope we can still be friends?”
Wait, I already broke it off with her half an hour ago. Not that she took it well or didn’t follow me outside to change my mind. You know what? It doesn’t matter. She can think whatever she wants. It’s over. That’s all I care about.
“Sure.”
She pats my shoulder and tosses her hair back. “Well, good luck with that.”
“Thanks.”
Two hours later, I’m no less confused by the events of the afternoon. There’s time to kill before I can meet up with Lilly, so I decide to go up to the clubhouse.
After a quick stop at Wrath and Trinity’s to see the dogs, I make the long trek through the woods to the clubhouse.
It’s crowded. Family night. Lots of brothers clustered in the living room catching up with each
other. I head in the opposite direction and the first person I run into is exactly who I wanted to see.
“Hey, Hope. Can we talk for a sec?”
My serious tone seems to throw her off. She tips her head back and studies me for a second. “Sure, Z.”
I lead her away from the chaos of the rest of the clubhouse and into the hallway. We stop just short of entering the dining room.
“Is everything okay?” she asks. “How are Lilly and Chance?”
“Good. She’s visiting her dad at the hospital, but I’m meeting them later.”
She seems genuinely happy. “I’m glad to hear that. How are things otherwise?”
“Rough.” I blow out a breath and work out in my head what I want to say. “I’m not sure I trust her not to disappear again and I’m still pissed.” I give her a sheepish smile. “I’ve kinda been an asshole.”
She squeezes my shoulder—harder than a mere sign of affection. “That’s understandable. But eventually you have to decide what’s more important to you—your pride or love?”
“It’s not pride. It’s a matter of trust,” I insist, completely ignoring the “love” bit.
She rolls her eyes. “Of course, it’s your pride. You guys…you’re all…” She scrunches up her nose and squints as if she’s thinking so hard it hurts. “What’s a nice word for cavemen?”
“What’s wrong with cavemen?”
“You’re hurt—”
“I’m pissed.”
“You’re hurt and angry.” She cocks her head. “Did she tell you why?”
“No, she clams up every time I get near the subject, which just makes me angrier. I assume it has something to do with the club.”
“Maybe,” she says, not sounding all that convinced. “Lilly’s always been independent, but I’ve never known her to be cruel or dishonest so whatever it is might not have anything to do with you.”
That hadn’t occurred to me. “She kind of hinted that her family’s a little fucked up.”
“Aren’t all of ours?” She laughs. “It seems to be a prerequisite for joining the club.”
How right she is on that one. Even the ol’ ladies have some pretty messed up family histories. “It’s what bonds us all together.”
“True,” she agrees.
