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No. Somethings wrong. Last night was perfect, as perfect as things can be, because I trusted you. Youre not supposed to play games with me. I cant take that, and if youre going to do that, then you should justfuck off and leave me alone. I wont take that kind of bullshit, you hear me?
When he said nothing, his gaze turned inward as if seeking words he couldnt find, no instant denial coming to his lips, it welled up in her, huge and unwieldy, making her almost lightheaded. She felt betrayed. That was the only reason she could fathom for what she did next, something shed never done in her whole life.
She slapped him.
It wasnt as easy as they showed on soap opera dramas. A im and force werent easy to coordinate, though she had plenty of rage behind it. She hit his neck more than his jaw, but it unleashed something else. She followed it with an even wilder slap that went high, hit his temple and eye, but she didnt care. If she blinded him, he couldnt look at her like this.
She flailed at him like a child on a playground, a flurry of slaps that canted her weight forward and made her fall into him. She was still pummeling at him when he turned her, waist secure in his grip as he got her feet safely on the ground. Later she would find it remarkable that he did so little to protect his face, a natural instinct for most people.
Right now, though, she was occupied. One part of her stood to the side, horrified and fascinated by the shrieking, irrational, rage-filled Chloe, spewing foul curses in language she didnt use, but then a couple things penetrated. He was holding her, bringing her in to his chest so her punches had shorter and shorter range, until she was gripping his shirt and shaking him. He was sitting down on the upper step, putting her between his knees. A nd he was trying to tell her something.
She blinked at him, her body vibrating. What? What did you say?
He framed her face in one hand, holding her body so close with the other she could feel his heart beat beneath her shoulder. I said, last night was different for me too, different from anything Ive ever felt, Chloe. Im sorry. It spooked me, and I wasnt ready for it. Youre right. I shouldnt have acted this way this morning. It was unforgivable. I didnt handle it well, okay?
The anguish of that was in his eyes. He wasnt just soothing her, she could tell. That frustration shed glimpsed in the mirror was with himself, struggling with his own feelings. She bit her lips, anger deflating. It left weariness, and the beginnings of mortification.
No, you didnt, she agreed. Closing her eyes, she buried her face in her hands, rounding her body inside the shelter of his, conscious that her soft-soled canvas sneakers were curved over the toe of his left boot, pressing down on the foot beneath. But he didnt complain.
Oh Chloe. He passed his hand over the defensive hunch shed made of her spine. I am sorry.
Dont be. It wasnt my best moment, either. She blew out a sigh, feeling sick at heart. I completely fall apart over a second date, which happened to involve sex, so who am I to cast stones? Shaking her head, she pushed herself to her feet, making herself let go of him on a couple different levels. Im not ready for this, Brendan. I should never have called you that night, never should have taken it any further. Its not fair to you.
A pparently, Im not even emotionally prepared for sex right now, let alone a relationship. We should cut our losses now.
Chloe Davis. He captured both of her hands, bringing her gaze back to his resolute expression. Youre brave, and lovely, and Ive never wanted a woman more in my life. Never. He repeated it as if she should understand how significant that was, and it made her wonder what women hed had in his life that would make this moment so obviouslymore. The emphasis was so sincere it made her tremble. If I fuck up or if you dont want me, you end it, but you dont cut me loose because you think its too much trouble for me to hold your lifeline. Okay? No more talk like that.
Youre already having reservations yourself. Why push something thats putting off wrong vibes on the second date?
You need me.
Could he have chosen a worse thing to say? Bitter anger clogged her throat, back as if it had never left. She took a step back, pulling her hands away. So rescuing girls is your particular sick little fetish? Thats what turns you on?
When she saw shock flash across his
face, followed by hurt and anger, incomprehensible, detestable triumph flooded her. Who was this harpy, this thing that had possessed her tongue, turned it into a slicing weapon?
Then he gave a nod, his mouth hard. If you want to call it that. I think its every mans responsibility to protect a woman, to rescue her if she needs rescuing, whether or not he has the white horse and armor. But youre more than that to me, Chloe.
A m I? Because something real is holding you back, and the most logical thing is that its me. What, you didnt think I was all that fucked up the first night, but now youve reconsidered? Was I not a good enough lay? Too assertive? You didnt like me calling the shots?
He rose, giving her a look that she expected hawks gave mice before they plummeted. But then he snagged her right hand, the one shed used to slap him first. It was still stinging. A s if he knew that, he put his lips to her palm, closing his eyes and holding his mouth there as her fingers curled, uncertain, over his brow.
He held her there a long moment. That contact made her lightheaded, his hair under her fingertips, the stillness between them, weighted with ugly words and confused feelings. It made her want to sway forward, perversely ask him to comfort her for the pain shed caused him. His hand went to her waist, steadying her, but as soon as it was clear she had her balance, at least physically, he let her go. Ill talk to you soon, Chloe.
He cut around her to walk to his Jeep. Chloe closed her hands into useless fists. She wanted to scream at him some more, but she knew it wasnt he who enraged her. She needed help, but she didnt want to be rescued by the guy pulling her heartstrings into knots. That wasnt who she wanted to be. When he put the Jeep in drive, she turned. He met her eyes. Though she wanted to be comforted by that lingering kiss she held in her tight hand, she saw the shadows. She wasnt wrong, what she had said. But that didnt mean she was right, either.
* * * * *
When she got to work, she spent as much time in the restroom as she could, under the excuse that she needed to put on makeup because shed slept in. Fortunately, once she came out, Gen was working on the brewing for the first half hour and conversation was limited. But when Marguerite came in and they began to set the tables, she braced herself. It was the unofficial time for not-so-idle chatting, at least for her and Gen. Marguerite would throw in dry observations on occasion. Chloe knew the question was coming, but that didnt mean she had an answer ready. So how did it go with Brendan yesterday?
A ny normal human being could say fine, give a smug little smile and that would be the end of it. Normal workplaces didnt pry in-depth into sex lives, but Chloe had set the tone, always asking for every romantic, sexy detail she could wrangle out of Marguerite and Gen on anything. Karma was a bitch, she thought.
Hell, shed give it a try. Fine, she said, faking a smile. Gen raised a brow.
That bad? He seemed really nice.
He was. He was fine.
