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Both. A nd the whole world, for a second. I dont know whats the matter with me. I mean, I dont judge people like that. It wouldnt matter to me if Gen liked to sleep in a cradle and suck her thumb, or Tyler liked to dress in womens clothes, as long as they were okay with it, and it didnt hurt anyone else.
You arent contemplating making Gen yours, he pointed out. Judging is all right when its for yourself, Chloe. Deciding what you want and best need for your own happiness. No shame in that.
But there is shame in making someone else feel bad about who and what they are, just because it might not mesh with who and what I am. She closed her eyes at his look. Im not saying you and I dont meshI just Oh God, just shut me up.
He touched her nose, a whimsical gesture that brought her eyes back open. I would be very disturbed to know Tyler dressed in womens clothes.
She caught the sadness at the back of his expression, though. Her heart hurt at his attempt to make her feel better. She wondered if he already knew it, that in the end they wouldnt suit. Had he come to that conclusion, decided he was willing to be her Mr. Right Now, even if he couldnt be Mr.
Right? That made her angry in a different way.
She reached out abruptly, gripped his hand. Youll do what Icommand you to do?
He cocked his head. Mostly, yes. If its not a command that harms you.
She shook her head. Dont let me hurt you, Brendan. Dont let me take weird, fucked-up potshots at you for reasons I cant understand, and just take it. Okay? Please, Im begging you. Dont let me do that to you.
Touching her full bottom lip, he ran his thumb over the indentation of her chin. Youll never have to beg me for anything, Chloe.
Turning away, he began to set up their lunch. Unsure what to say, she watched him open the deli wrappers, lay out her sandwich on a napkin, then unwrap the homemade brownie and pour her a glass of wine. Did he do it unconsciously, serving her like this, rather than handing her a sandwich to unwrap herself or fixing his own food at the same time?
Clearing her throat, she took up her sandwich. A s she did, a pair of mated geese and their goslings moved along the waters edge, looking like a postcard.
So back to this closet. I really want to know. Do you keep things there you take to the club?
Sometimes. My last relationship, we were roommates, and we used some of those things at home. A lot of whats in that closet is club wear, though, because Mistresses tend to like presentation. He gave her a nudge, a half smile that she was sure was intended to make her feel a little better, rather than lower than a slug inching along the gravel. You know how women are.
I expect a drama professor would be very comfortable dressing the part. Despite her guilt, her mind quickly shifted to imagining a few things and wondering about her own private fashion show. But his comment gave her a distracting little pang. So you said that relationship broke up a little over a year ago?
Yes. Shortly before Marguerite got married.
So I guess you were telling me the truth. She slanted him a glance. Im not a rebound.
You wouldnt have been that, even if you called right after the wedding. That relationship was over.
Did you love her?
His expression shifted. Him. I loved him at one time, but was never in love with him.
How do you know? She was always interested in how people defined being in love. Though the path to it differed for everyone, shed noted that long term relationships seemed to have certain things in common, things shed always longed to experience. That commonality suggested there was a universal truth to love, an idea that seemed very reassuring, like proof of Divinity.
Because this feels entirely different. He gave her a briefly intense look that rocked her back on her heels, metaphorically speaking. She cleared her throat.
Im not quite sure what to do with that yet, so I guess Ill steer us into safer waters. She brightened abruptly. Do they have boats here? Like canoes?
He nodded, looking bemused and amused at once. A fter we eat, can we go out on one? she continued. Its like this dream I have. I want to lie on the boards and look up at the sky while you paddle.
A ll right. Reaching out, he cupped the side of her neck, ran his thumb over her throat, the sensitive windpipe. The genuine smile forgave anything, gave her permission to release the memory of her ugly behavior as if it had never been. To do and be something entirely different.
Thinking about that, she decided she wasnt as hungry as shed thought. Not for food. Setting the rest of her sandwich down on the cooler, she shifted, aware of his attention as she eased herself down to her back. Dropping one arm over her head, she reached out to him with the other.
Come here, Beaver, she said in a throaty voice.
God, you are so good at being adorable and desirable at once, he murmured.
Wanting to let the latter take precedence, she closed her hand over his shirt front and tugged, bringing him from his leaning position down toward her.
Responding to her desires, he moved his body over hers. Her small hands slid down his back, then lower, lower, until she rested on the rise of his ass, the line of his hip, and curled her fingers into his belt loops. He sucked in a breath as one bare foot slid up his calf, her thighs rising to cradle him.
