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Could either of them know the answer to that? They’d made a few unsuccessful attempts to reach Mr. Sorenson and then get distracted by work to give it a good effort. And their research into Sang’s past through him hadn’t worked out. Mr. Hendricks was the only one that got through to Mr. Sorenson, and they suspected it was because the school’s name showed up on his cell phone and he knew better than to leave it unanswered. The most likely scenario, that one of the girls had been absent and needed confirmation from a parent he’d been all too willing to respond to. Their next attempt to call him will probably have a school name on the ID so he might actually pick up.
Mr. Sorenson never called or tried to contact anyone to see what was wrong with Sang. He did what he had to and disappeared again. Their next step was to go his new home, scout him. They needed to spare a few of the guys though, and lately, they haven’t had a moment to themselves. Weekends had been just as busy as the week days.
The boys were quiet for a long time. The silence of the hospital floor settled in and Nathan was tempted to take a short nap.
Victor stared at the laptop screen even though it had changed to the screen saver, flashing bright colors. “Can I ask you something?”
“Spill it,” Nathan said.
“How much do you like Sang?”
Nathan grunted. That was a stupid question. Maybe it was obvious to Victor and he wanted to know. Not like he was doing a good job hiding it lately. Seemed like everyone knew, including Rocky. “A lot.”
“Really?”
Nathan shrugged, turning his head slightly to look at Victor. “Why do you want to know?”
Victor continued to stare at the laptop, but his cheeks were turning red.
“Victor?” Nathan asked. He nudged his elbow into him. “What?”
“I mean, do you love her?”
Nathan inhaled sharply. He wasn’t expecting such a blunt question. He wanted to be honest with him, because he knew the answer, but didn’t want to tell anyone else before he told her. “If you... if you’re asking for a shot, man...”
“Because I do,” Victor said.
Nathan’s lips parted. Heat wound its way into his chest, tightening the muscles. Was he hearing this right? No. It was impossible. “You can’t be in love,” he said.
Victor snapped his head around, his eyes flashing. “I’m not lying.”
“You’re sixteen,” Nathan said. “You barely know her.”
“I know enough.”
“But,” he said, and he didn’t know how to explain it. He couldn’t believe he was treating something like love so carelessly. Sang was the last girl he would want to hurt with something like this. Mr. Blackbourne had been right before about not jumping the gun about dating her or getting too close without her easing into it. She was too vulnerable. She had too many close, bad calls around her and she was scared. If she found this out, she’d probably freak out. “You don’t know shit.”
Victor sat up sharply and started to say something loud but then stopped, glancing at the nurse at the station. He changed his tone to a whisper. “I know what I feel,” he said.
“We’re teenagers,” Nathan said. He was snapping answers that seemed logical. He wanted to squash whatever Victor was feeling quickly, because he didn’t want to get into a fight with Victor once he learned the truth. Maybe if he could convince Victor that he didn’t really love her, maybe wait a few months, Nathan could be honest with him about how he felt. “We’re supposed to be ... I don’t know. How can you say you’re in love with her? Are you telling her this stuff?”
“We haven’t told her yet,” Victor said.
Nathan blinked at him, at first not connecting the dots because Victor said it so matter of fact. “Who’s we? What do you mean ‘we’?”
Victor pursed his lips. “North loves her, too.”
Nathan’s mouth fell open. “She told me you all were trying to kiss her,” Nathan said. “I didn’t believe her because I thought she was high. I thought she was just saying whatever. Are you telling me that’s true?”
“I would,” Victor said. “I only did a little. Not on the mouth. I haven’t had time with her yet.”
“Those marks,” Nathan said. “The ones on her neck. She said North did it.”
“I saw them,” Victor said. “And North told me he did.”
Nathan clenched his fists. He held back the desire to punch something. The heat in his chest increased and tightened. “I’m going to kill him. Did he hurt her? Because I swear...”
Victor sliced his hand through the air. “He said she liked it. Gabriel said it, too.”
“What do you mean, Gabriel?”
“She bit Gabriel on the neck, and he liked it.”
“They can’t mean that. Did you see her neck? She looked like she was beaten up.”
Victor shook his head. “This isn’t like ...” He paused, his face softening. “Nathan, she isn’t your mother. They aren’t hurting her.”
Nathan held back another grunt. He’d seen far too many bruises. He’d felt the bite himself. He still had a mark of his own. She’d bitten really hard, and he felt no pleasure in it.
And then she’d cried trying to tell him it didn’t hurt.
“I don’t know what to think,” Nathan said. “Not with her. Not when she comes back with bruises all over and then you’re telling me this shit. You’re playing with her. All of you.”
“We’re not playing,” Victor said. “North and I haven’t told her yet.”
“You can’t both be in love with her and be okay with it. Life doesn’t work like that.”
“Tell me, then,” Victor said. He glared at Nathan. “Tell me flat out if you’re in love with her.”
Nathan tried to hold his own, staring back. “She doesn’t love me,” he said. He was sure of that. If she did, she would have said so. He realized now why. She was getting confused by all the others trying to kiss her. He’d been holding back because of the rule. He was getting left behind. No wonder Sang said all the things she did when she was high.
“That’s not what I asked,” Victor said. “I want to know if you love her. Because I think you do.”
Nathan blocked off the light and the sight of Victor by holding his palms up against his eyes. He didn’t know what to say. He cared about her.
He loved her. He’d been holding back a lot. He knew why. It was how he felt about the guys at times. He did whatever they wanted, bent over backwards to make them all happy, because he was scared to death they’d leave him. He knew she felt that way, too. He understood how it felt to get left behind by parents, even if one of them was a really shitty dad. He’d worried about his mother, but the Academy assured him she was safe and better now, even if she never asked about him.
Conflicting feelings collided inside of him. He cared about Victor. He’d helped Victor fight off Mr. Morgan before when they were younger. He’d been like a brother. Nathan would do whatever it took to protect him.
Nathan wasn’t going admit it to anyone but her, though. It was wrong to tell anyone else but her first. He wasn’t sure if this was really love because you weren’t supposed to be in love at sixteen. Maybe a crush. Something that lasts for a summer or a school year and then it was over.
He wanted it to be real and was holding out to make sure before he ever mentioned how he felt to her.
He was sure the other guys didn’t love her. Not like this. They couldn’t possibly feel the way he did about her. He could understand it, though.
She was so beautiful and sweet. None of them could possibly imagine what loving a girl like Sang would lead to. When Danielle had caught them in bed together, he had really hoped the rumor got spread and he could finally call her his own at school. It felt like the right thing. Her pretending to be with Silas set them apart.
He really hated that Kota found her first. Nathan was sure that was his first mistake. He ran into Sang in the woods, had gotten all worked up about her, and when he discovered Kota had discovered her first, he backed up. He was willing to deny how he felt for Kota’s sake. He thought he’d been crushing on her and he’d get over it if Kota ever claimed her. He didn’t want to get in the way if Sang fell for Kota instead.
Why wouldn’t she? He was smart. And nice. She seemed to like him.
When Kota did nothing more than friendly things with her and it looked like Nathan could possibly have a chance, that’s when her dad left and they all swore not to go after her. He’d trusted the others to keep that promise. He was sure if he stayed by her side, with as sweet as she was, she’d figure it all out and tell him things he’d been waiting to hear.
He was so close. It was little things here and there with Sang. Sleeping next to her and biting her fingers. The way she kissed his fingers and then his cheek. And the way she tried to kiss him when she was high and couldn’t control herself. He’d wanted to let her. He’d been waiting for so long and it killed him to push her away.
It hadn’t been right. Not yet. He couldn’t do that to her. He wasn’t even sure if it would break the rule to kiss her now, since she had done it first. He wasn’t sure he would be willing to face off with Mr. Blackbourne on that point. He hadn’t been happy with telling Mr. Blackbourne what she’d done, but Mr. Blackbourne forgave it so easily. She was high. She probably won’t even remember.
Nathan breathed out and rubbed his palms over his face. “I don’t want to talk about this right now.”
“We need to talk about it,” Victor said. “Because we’re running out of time.”
“Time for what?”
“The Academy is going to want a formal introduction soon,” he said. “And Mr. Blackbourne thinks the only way to keep her is if we’re all on the same page.”
