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I nodded, and then my phone started to buzz against my chest. I looked at him, wanting to respond to what he said but thrown off by the phone.
Gabriel’s eyebrow lifted. “What?”
I fumbled for the phone. He backed up and our arms knocked together as I was taking the phone out. It flipped from my hands and landed nearby on the ground.
I gritted my teeth. Did I break another one?
Gabriel bent over and reached for it, lifting it carefully. “Shit,” he said. “The screen’s cracked.”
“Ugh,” I said. “Victor will want to buy another one.”
“Why?” he asked. “We’ll just get the screen replaced.” He smoothed his hand over the phone, checking the thin web of cracks across the screen. “Besides, it looks like the plastic thingie is holding it together. The glass isn’t falling out. You can still use it for a while until we get it repaired.”
Maybe replacing the screen wouldn’t cost that much. “Maybe I could get it done before Victor finds out?” I asked. I’d rather he didn’t know and wanted to replace it just because. He seemed to do that a lot. I had money I earned from working at the diner, although I wasn’t sure how much replacing a phone screen would cost.
Gabriel opened his mouth like he would answer me, and then his lips stilled. He studied the screen. “Mr. Blackbourne sent you a message,” he said quietly.
My heart again did a flip. I was going to have anxiety issues after so many shocks to the system. Was it more news about Mr. McCoy?
“What’s he going on about?” he asked, still in the same soft tone. He passed the phone to me, the phone lit up to where Mr. Blackbourne’s message had come through.
It was a long note that went on for several text messages.
Mr. Blackbourne: I apologize if I seemed forward at breakfast. I realize that I should have asked if you were comfortable with us looking into your past.
Mr. Blackbourne: We only meant to provide answers rather than questions. We made assumptions and failed to think of your feelings. We should discuss this next time we meet.
Mr. Blackbourne: Perhaps we should make a regular meeting for ourselves. Would Sunday breakfasts be suitable? You’re welcome any time, of course.
I wasn’t sure where to start. Standing in the middle of the wood with Gabriel staring at me questioningly and Mr. McCoy possibly on our tail… Mr. Blackbourne was the only one who could send it all away with only a few sentences, as if it wasn’t even there. It was just him and me alone in a still world, even when he wasn’t here.
He wanted to talk about it more. I wasn’t ready. He wanted to see me regularly outside of school.
A knot formed tightly in my chest. I wanted to. I liked him. I wanted to impress Mr. Blackbourne. I wanted to do whatever he asked.
How could I ever turn him down again? How would I even begin to explain it?
“Sang?” Gabriel asked quietly.
Suddenly, the breeze picked up around us and I was next to Gabriel again. I hadn’t even realized he’d touched my shoulder, holding onto it and staring at me.
“What’s going on?” he asked. “What’s all that mean? And why do you look like you’re about to cry? Why are you crying?”
I wasn’t, or didn’t think I was. It’d been a busy morning, with a lot of ups and downs and fears thrown at me all at once.
“What past is he talking about?” Gabriel asked when I hadn’t answered him. “I didn’t mean to read it if it’s private...I just picked it up and...”
“He was looking into my real mother,” I said quietly. It was what I was thinking, and really hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but Gabriel’s imploring eyes were willing me to say something, anything.
Gabriel took my phone away and put it into his pocket. He held my hands in his and looked down at me. “I heard they were. I didn’t know if they found anything.”
“They haven’t,” I said. “He wants me to talk to my stepmother to see if she has any answers.”
“And you didn’t want to talk to her?”
“I don’t want to know,” I said hurriedly, the words rushing out. I couldn’t tell Mr. Blackbourne this. I’d disappoint him. With Gabriel, though, I thought he would understand. “Why look into it?” I asked him. “Is it really important? Shouldn’t we worry about now? The present? About us? We’ve got Mr. McCoy running around after us, and school, and then there’s how I’m going to get away with living with Nathan for however long without my father or anyone else finding out.”
He stared blankly at me for a moment, holding my hands and warming them between his.
“Am I wrong?” I asked. “I mean, if it won’t change us now, why look into it?” That was it. It was what I was feeling. Why look at the past? McCoy was right behind us. We shouldn’t even be here talking about it.
Time passed. The leaves around us danced in the breeze. I wanted to say more, to stand up for what I felt was the right thing. Looking into the past would also be dangerous. It meant talking to my stepmother, possibly alerting her to what was going on. If she got into another rampage at the hospital, the staff could call the police. Dr. Green and the others might not be able to stop her from talking about it at all. A real police investigation would start. That’s the last thing Mr. Blackbourne wanted.
Gabriel sighed and nodded slowly. “We should focus on us,” he said. “You’re right. And they…we should have asked you first if you wanted to know.”
I soared then, floating where I stood. If Gabriel understood, if he was on my side, then it’d be okay. Maybe he could help me explain it to the others. “I want to join the Academy,” I said, trying to bring us away from the discussion of my mother. “I want to get in so I can be with you.” I’d meant to say with you guys, but my voice cracked and while my lips moved, the word was lost in the moment.
It didn’t matter. That part was true. Gabriel was important to me. He was so brilliant and beautiful. I’d join for the others and I’d join the group for him.
His mouth fell open. He removed one of his hands to rub the back of his neck. “Shit, Sang, you really like asking for the impossible.”
I huffed, my eyes widening. What did he mean?
“I kind of was hoping you didn’t want to get in,” he said. He shook his head. “It’s complicated. More than you might think. I don’t know if anyone told you.”
“We have to all get along and agree for me to get in,” I said.
“It’s more than that,” he said. His mouth twisted into a frown. “I don’t know the answers. I was just kind of hoping you’d keep going how we were. Where you help us every once in a while. It’s less of a chance you’d end up somewhere else.”
Could that happen? “Luke once said they’d put me with another group. Or that I’d choose another group. But I don’t want another one.”
Gabriel grimaced. “Yeah, you say that...”
I wanted to answer him, but I couldn’t come up with the words. Why was it they didn’t believe I’d stay? There really must be more to it. ?
??I don’t understand,” I said. “What would make me change my mind?”
“The Academy isn’t...” he fumbled, and then shook his head. “It’s complicated. I’m not even sure how much I’m supposed to tell you.” He waved his hand through the air. “For fuck’s sake, I don’t even know. And I’ve been in it for a while.” He found my hand and tugged it. “Let’s go meet Luke. He’ll be able to explain it better.”
The path narrowed in front of us, and I stayed as close as I could to Gabriel. We marched on for several minutes in silence. I held tight to his hand, his slim fingers entangled so tightly with mine it almost hurt. I couldn’t let go. He was my only shield now and I needed to hang on. He breathed heavily as he walked. Was he afraid, too?
But he was on my side. He knew what I was worried about, what I really wanted. He understood me. I wanted to talk to him more, to tell him all the little secrets in my head. I needed more time with him.
Gabriel was the answer I was looking for. Someone to confide in. I was supposed to do that with Mr. Blackbourne, but I thought if I discussed things with Gabriel, he’d help me figure out how to say things properly, so I wouldn’t get into the predicament I was in with Mr. Blackbourne now, with misunderstandings between us.
I needed Gabriel.
THE THREE AMIGOS PLAN
Soon, Gabriel and I spilled out to a small lane. There was nothing along it but rows of trees on either side. Branches stuck out over the road, shadowing the black asphalt.
A black SUV was parked further up the road, facing away from us. Gabriel waved. A series of honks came from the car: one, two, silence, three, silence, four, five.
“That’s Luke,” Gabriel said.
Code? I wondered how he knew. I remembered Volto, though, and how he’d tricked me before, making me approach the SUV cautiously, seeking out Luke’s face.
