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eded time on missions together.” I’d almost forgotten that conversation, but it came to me vividly now. “How does your team handle it?”
She paused mid-step and faced me, her eyes wide with surprise. “They don’t date anyone else. They’re with me.”
Silence loomed between us, her eyes on me, making sure I understood.
They’re with me.
Her description felt like this was more than friends. Perhaps it was even closer than the family ideas that Mr. Blackbourne encouraged. They don’t date anyone else because they dated her.
“All three?” I asked, trying to grasp her idea.
“Four,” she said, and she motioned to the pictures on the mantel. “He’s just not here right now. Off on an Academy mission somewhere.”
Four guys and her. “They all live with you?” I asked. It was obvious, but I wanted to simplify because I was finding it hard to grasp.
She nodded.
Again I was quiet, waiting for her to talk, while I suspect she was waiting for me to ask questions.
It’s difficult for people to understand.
Normal people.
They weren’t normal, either.
“Don’t think too hard on it,” she said quietly after a long moment. “Think of how you feel. You said you cared for them.”
I nodded. I was trying to focus, but it felt like my mind had broken. I was hearing her words. I understood them. I think I expected it to be more difficult, and yet it felt like it wasn’t real at all. Like trying to read a book in your dreams. The words flow, and you understand, but you don’t, and the memories drift as you wake up.
“I imagine they care for you,” she said, “otherwise there would have been fighting already. It’s rare for a team to get along when there’s only one girl. It’s why the Academy usually puts girls in girl teams. There’s some exceptions, like couple teams, but one girl on a team with multiple men is usually unheard of. Except for us. You might be the other exception. Eventually. If it goes that way for you.”
I sucked in a breath, tasting old ashes from the fireplace, books, a light sweet perfume from her. There were also scents in the room I hadn’t thought to identify, but now, I recognized as mixtures of colognes. Male scents.
Like the boys. How familiar I’d come to be surrounded their scents. I breathed them in every time I was around them, and those familiar smells comforted me, though in different ways, as each one got close.
The possibility of a library where all the boys’ scents blended together was the idea I clung to. More than the Academy, was the idea of us together in the same spot. Lily proved to me that it was possible.
It felt like a selfish idea somehow. Could they be happy like that?
“The trick with Academy families,” she said, “is that the entire team needs to get along with each other.” She moved around the couch to sit again in front of me. She leaned her elbows on her knees as she talked. “That’s your goal. The boys think it has to do with them, but soon, they’ll know it’s entirely up to you.”
I stilled, holding my breath, staring and waiting. Me. It all would fall on me. What was I supposed to do?
As if she’d heard me, she answered. “Your team is slightly different than mine,” she said. “You might have some advantages. I can teach you what to do. Learn the things they love. Wear what they like seeing you wear. Remember their birthdays. Split your time as evenly as possible... no. That’s wrong. Some need more time than others. Some will care for you more the longer you’re away. There’s a balance somewhere. You’ll learn it. It depends on the each one.”
“What about the Academy?” I asked. I was getting lost in her list of things to remember. “If they don’t like it, would it be better to not join at all?”
“Join if you’d like,” she said. “Though you don’t have to. The problem is, depending on who you are, the Academy may ask, and even entice you to join them. They may offer things that you might want for your team, in exchange for you listening to their requests, like trying out other teams.”
“Like a bribe?” I asked.
“Of course,” she said, nodding. “They did that with me. Several times. They sent me to different girl teams, promising me that they’d trade favors and money in exchange. I thought about it for a long time. I saw it as an opportunity to better the boys, and to get out of their hair. To not be in the middle and to prevent fighting...no, that’s what they believed. The Academy. Even the thought of me leaving made them miserable. It was better for me to stay.”
“So you said no?” I asked. “If I want to stay with my team…” Was it that simple? To listen to the Academy try to bribe me away from my team, but in the end they’d simply let me remain with them?
“You’ll have to resist,” she said. “That was my mistake: to even consider leaving. But hopefully that won’t be yours. They’ll want to test you with another team. If you truly want to stay with your own team, you’ll have to ignore their promises. Thick and thin, you need to stay where you belong. You’ll have to find a way to prove to them you simply can’t join another team.”
It sounded like she was asking the impossible. “I still don’t fully understand the Academy,” I said. “I don’t know a lot about it.”
“Don’t you?” she asked. “You’ve talked with me for a good while. It seems like you know a lot about the Academy, and what you do know, you discovered on your own.”
Did I? I tried to recall what I’d said and what I knew. “It’s a secret school, sort of,” I said, as if saying things out loud to her would point out what I knew, and where I lacked information. “They have rules. Family first. Family is a choice...” I tried to recall the others.
She held up a slim finger and started to recite, smiling proudly as she did. “The Academy has four main rules to remember. The first, trust your family.” She held up another finger and counted off as she continued. “Two, family is a choice. Three, family first, Academy second. Four, when your family can’t be there for you, the Academy always will be.”
My eyes started to water, especially at that last rule. The Academy always will be. A promise hanging in the air, that the Academy would look out for you even when your family couldn’t. Just like how Kota and the others looked out for me when my own real family wouldn’t. Now Lily was telling me if Kota’s team couldn’t, the Academy would.
“I see you’re understanding,” she said, smiling and dropping her hand. “Yes, it’s what I love about the Academy, and why I can’t simply tell you to not join and stay as you are with them. The Academy helps your team and others. It’s a calling that those worthy of the Academy simply can’t ignore. If you’re eager to help out and participate, this is for you. It becomes your home, part of who you are.”
That sounded like what I suspected the Academy of being, and why the boys went off in the middle of the night to help each other and the Academy whenever they were called on. It was why even when they had some problems with me and questions about our future, belonging to the Academy was never in question. It was a constant in their lives. It always would be. Like it or not, it would be mine, too, whether I decided to join or not. Words came back to me from Mr. Blackbourne and the others, promises they’d whispered that I’d be okay from now on. It was the promise of the Academy repeating through them.
“There’s still much I don’t understand about it,” I said. “And they said I had to trust them in order to join.”
“It’s partially that,” she said. “You do have to trust your team. You also have to learn as you go. It’s part of your training. It’s not just CPR classes and learning how to listen and observe. Learning our purpose comes from participating in a family and pulling together. The Academy has very few rules, and the most important ones are first.” She curled up on the couch again, grabbing a pillow and holding it to her stomach. “But I feel I can help because I’ve been through it. If you have a question, you can talk to me. I may not be able to answer if it’s an Academy question, but I can tell you what to ask
your Mr. Blackbourne or other people on your team. And I can explain what it might mean for you as a girl on the team. I’ll help where I can.”
I nodded. That sounded good. I understood there were things they couldn’t share, but if I was to join the Academy at all, I’d have to learn. Often, my problem was I wasn’t sure if I should ask or what I could ask. Some guidance would be helpful.
There was a knock at the door then. It opened, and the man with strawberry-blond hair poked his head in. He looked at me quickly and addressed her. “They’re getting antsy,” he said, his voice deep and scratchy. “I think they want her back.”
“Of course they do,” she said, winking at him. I got the feeling she was toying with him. “They might not be the only ones who want someone back.”
He frowned and closed the door behind him.
“That’s one thing you’ll learn from the boys,” she said, sighing and tossing the pillow to the corner of the couch. “They want you within eyesight. I can barely read in here without one of them eventually coming in and sitting nearby.”
That sounded familiar. “I haven’t had much time to myself since I’ve met them.”
“Ask for it when you need it,” she said. “That’s another thing I had to learn. I don’t often need to now, but every once in a while, I take the car to shop or do something away from the boys. It does them good to miss you every once in a while.”
I couldn’t imagine the boys letting me take the car alone, to shop or do anything else. “I don’t have a license,” I said quietly.
“Let me know if you need me to take you anywhere,” she said. “And depending on where you live, you might be able to take a taxi if I’m not available.” She stood and moved to a desk that was nearby. She pulled a card from it, and then wrote on the back. “This is my cell phone number. And on the front is Henry’s number, too.” She held it out to me and I glanced down, noting the front of the card was information about some nonprofit organization.
