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I couldn’t blame him for that. “No one notices.”
“Soon, it won’t matter,” he said. “Like I said, I’m not a real teacher anyway. You know that.” He pursed his lips, staring at me. “This isn’t weirding you out, is it?”
I shook my head. “You’re right,” I said. “We should spend more time together.” This was like Gabriel needing more time, and the others… I really did need Mr. Blackbourne’s help with a schedule. I’d have to be flexible around Dr. Green’s work time, too. “You’ll have to make more time, though. Take a day off once in a while.”
“I don’t have much time to spare.”
“You work too much.”
“Not that again,” he pointed a finger lazily in my direction. “Don’t you start trying to change my ways.”
“If you don’t have a day off, how am I supposed to spend time with you?”
His lips parted and he stared but he paused, like he was thinking up with smart answer but couldn’t find one. “You…you…you just have to invent the eight day week, is what you need to do.”
I smiled at him. “It means we have to find time somewhere. If we didn’t have to finish out the year here at school…”
Dr. Green smiled back, settling a little in his seat. “We don’t have to wait so long,” he said. “We don’t even have to wait. Not to do things we should be doing. Going on dates. Making out on the couch. Snuggling up with a movie.” He tugged me closer and I shifted to lean in. He kissed my forehead and then looked down at me. “We just need to be careful where and when. Watch how we talk at school.”
“Okay,” I said, genuinely meaning it.
“Well, don’t agree so easily,” he said, winking. He leaned in, kissed my lips briefly and then backed up, smiling. “I can’t be the only one who wants to drag you off into the storage closet at school for a kiss or two.”
I grinned at that. I hadn’t thought about that, but I liked knowing he thought of it. “So no storage closets?” I asked.
He beamed. “Don’t tempt me.”
???
We talked more about school, gossiped about teachers and students. Mostly he talked, as he was much more observant of other students. I usually kept my head down and tried not to be noticed.
Later, when the school started to open, he drove onto the lot, parked, and asked if I’d go in alone. He said he’d follow in a few minutes.
“Call me paranoid,” he said. “I feel like if we separate, we’re less likely to be noticed.”
I said goodbye, wishing we didn’t have to go into school. I would have rather gone to the hospital to look at the babies.
Without a book bag, I simply stuffed my hands into Gabriel’s hoodie pockets and headed inside. It was strange to be entering the school wearing it. I was usually dressed more formally, like how kids at my other school would dress. Blouses, skirts, and khakis or jeans during the winter, but always nice.
Inside Gabriel’s hoodie, I blended in with the other students. I didn’t want to stand out by wearing anything different than I normally did. Still, I wanted to curl up and just make it through the day.
In the hallway, I stopped, unsure. My fingertips traced the cracks on the surface of the phone inside my pocket. Would Lily be awake right now? I delayed going to find the boys. I wasn’t sure I was ready to face the group, to look into their eyes and know all the deep secrets, about Lily, about everything in my head.
I scouted the hallway and sought out a restroom, a busy one with other girls just so I wasn’t totally alone somewhere. I needed to use a stall anyway.
The bathroom was busy, but just as I walked in, a stall opened up. I entered it, starting a text to Lily.
Only I didn’t know where to begin. I was still wrapping my head around it. Lily got all of her guys to agree to stay with her. It wasn’t normal. All the girls in this bathroom would probably think horrible things about me if they knew. One boyfriend, fine. Two? And we weren’t even just talking two. There were nine of them.
Nine? Wait, was I considering Mr. Blackbourne for this? He was part of the group…
I tucked that thought away. The concepts were hard enough to deal with.
I needed something. Confirmation? Hope? Proof?
I did my best to convey my feelings in quick text message.
Sang: I hope I don’t wake you. I don’t need an answer back immediately, but I have a lot of questions.
Sang: Your suggestion that I should try for what your team has is a bit overwhelming. I’m concerned about the guys on my team, and their happiness.
Sang: I don’t want to upset them, or cause the team to splinter because of me trying to be a part of the team.
Those weren’t really questions. I put the phone in my pocket after having sent those messages. I tried to formulate how to put into words what I was thinking without hurting her feelings, either. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe she’d made it happen for her team, but in the end, was it what they all really wanted?
From what I’d always read, a girl and a boy meet, fall in love, get married. Sometimes they split up, and fall in love with other people. Affairs happened, but wasn’t it usually that the person who fell out of love was too embarrassed to tell the person, and fell in love with someone else?
So I typed in the first question I needed answers to.
Sang: How can you love more than one person at a time?
I sent the question. I hoped she understood.
I waited for an answer, but when one didn’t come in a reasonable amount of time, I had to get out of the stall and move on.
I had to wait for answers. It was excruciating.
MIXED FEELINGS
I kept my head down and walked into the courtyard. I spotted Kota and Nathan right away. Then I noticed Gabriel and Victor were with them.
Gabriel, however, sat off on his own. He had a pad of paper out, sketching. His hair was a mess on one side, like he’d taken a nap in the time since I’d seen him. Still, it was out of place. Had he been concentrating so much, he hadn’t checked his hair? He was usually the first one to consult a mirror in the morning.
As I approached, Kota lifted his head first. His gaze moved from my face down to my clothes and back up before he smiled pleasantly. “Good morning. We’ve been waiting on you.”
Nathan and Victor picked up their heads and said good morning. Gabriel remained absorbed in his drawing. I didn’t want to interrupt and Kota was directing me to the bench next to him and Victor.
I sat between them. Kota pulled out my book bag, now filled with books. “Thank you,” I said, shifting the bag to rest at my feet. “How did you get my bag back?”
“I stopped by on the way to school,” Victor said. “I needed to get Gabriel’s phone and saw your bag. Pam was asleep.”
I remembered Victor and the others had keys to each other’s homes. It was nice of him to fetch it and I thanked him.
“We did finish homework, didn’t we?” Kota asked. “I checked, but I wasn’t sure. You don’t write down things like I do.”
“We caught up on Friday,” I said. “Remember? Oh, wait, you weren’t there...”
He smiled softly and shrugged. “Sorry.”
“No,” I said, looking at the others. “It’s just we do it so often, one day blends into the next.” I sighed. “Homework has become such a chore. There’s so much of it.”
Victor laughed. “It wasn’t before this? I thought it was always a pain.”
I blushed at the memory of prior school years. I understood in the Academy, they may not be used to it. I should be, but this year was different. “I didn’t have much else to do before.” Too true. I finished homework quickly before and then I’d move on to reading or taking a walk outside. Without friends, or a cell phone, or much else, homework didn’t get in the way of much. “There wasn’t much else I was allowed to do.”
Their smiles faltered. “You can look forward to less homework later,” Kota said.
“By the time we’re done her
