AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I checked the time on the messages. It was early this morning, after he’d left Victor’s house alone but before school started. He was feeling down then. He’d been waiting for a response, too.
I put the cell phone away. Gabriel hadn’t responded to me yet. I tried to tell myself there was a logical reason, that he was busy. My heart told me he was ignoring me. I wrapped my arms around my stomach, swallowing more and staring off, not caring about geometry and school.
I hate this.
It killed me to think of him struggling. Gabriel thought it was impossible. He was wrong about how I felt about him.
Or was he?
It wasn’t like I was able to choose between them. It was selfish, somehow.
But the reality was, I could dream about Lily’s situation for myself, but the others may never go along with that plan. They may never be okay with it. At some point, I might have to make a choice, and pick one. Or I might need to leave them to save their family from splitting up.
I hunched down in my seat, dreading that day.
THE IMPOSSIBLE PLAN
When class was over, I walked beside Nathan to the next class.
“I have to take you to the music room,” Nathan said.
I stopped mid-step, surprised, and then slowly began walking again. When Mr. Blackbourne had said ‘tomorrow’, I didn’t realize he meant during our class.
I followed Nathan down the hallway, terrified.
“It’s been weird not having you at the house,” Nathan said. “And now you’ll be staying at a hotel.”
“I think staying at the hotel will be weird,” I said, mostly repeating him. I didn’t mean to be dour, but my thoughts weren’t on the hotel. I might have been excited about a stay at a hotel, but if Gabriel was upset, I wasn’t happy. Now I had to face Mr. Blackbourne and have a discussion I wasn’t sure I’d get through.
“It’s only for tonight,” Nathan said. We got to Music Room B’s door, the small hallway giving us some cover. He moved in, his face low and near mine. “It’s hard to sleep without you around.”
I smiled a little. For him.
It didn’t seem right that Nathan was in the dark; I needed him as much as I needed Gabriel. It wasn’t right to be down around him.
I summoned up as bright a smile as I could, and then as a bonus, I leaned in for a quick kiss.
His eyes went wide and he looked around, but then he grinned at me. “You shouldn’t do that in school,” he teased.
“I did miss you,” I said. “I didn’t sleep much last night, either.”
“I heard,” he said. He caught my hand, brought it to his lips and then gently bit the knuckle. “Be good, Peanut,” he said before he walked off toward class.
If only I could get Gabriel to smile and tease like that again.
I took in a good, long breath, holding it as I walked into Music Room B. I drew in strength, ready for whatever Mr. Blackbourne might have in mind.
Mr. Blackbourne was alone in the room, sitting at the piano. Music played, but his shoulders were still from what I could see.
Only when I moved closer, did I catch his eyes darting around the keys. He didn’t sway like Victor did when he played piano. His face was relaxed. He was still.
The song was fast-paced, with a strong crescendo.
I held my position, not daring to move and interrupt his song. I recognized it from classical music collections I used to download on the Internet and sorted through my mind what the title was.
He got to the end, the last notes fading when the bell rang. I said his name, walking deeper into the room to put my book bag down. “Requiem for a Tower?” I asked.
Mr. Blackbourne stood from the piano, coming around it. He was in his usual gray suit, maroon tie, and looking finely polished. His steel eyes, however, were wary.
I eased myself from one foot to the other, second-guessing everything I’d done, from finding Lily, to kissing Gabriel, to what I was wearing today.
I’d told Mr. Blackbourne I’d met Lily. I studied him cautiously now, looking for evidence of disappointment.
The song, the requiem, had charged me up a bit. The tune played in my head, but the violin version I was more familiar with. It made me think he was preparing for a fight.
He approached quietly. He pulled a seat around, and gestured to it. He wanted me to sit.
I placed my book bag quietly on another chair and sat on the one he’d pointed to. My heart thundered, filling my ears, rattling through my bones.
My lips pursed. I waited.
Mr. Blackbourne took a seat across from me. He peered at me through the black-rimmed glasses, studying me quietly.
Moments passed. The longer I was quiet, the harder it was for me to start talking. Was he mad? I feared if I said anything at all, he’d yell. Not that he usually did, but sometimes he voice got so sharp, he might as well yell.
Or worse, admit that I’d disappointed him.
Mr. Blackbourne breathed slowly, his eyes remaining on me, unrelenting. Finally, he spoke. “I know you have a lot on your mind,” he said.
A challenge. No...I was wrong. He wasn’t trying to fight. He was bracing himself for something else. Bad news? That I was upset? He was inviting me to talk about what was most important to me and was maybe worried he wouldn’t like what I had to say.
I was upset, but not for the same reason we’d discussed when last we spoke.
I straightened in my seat. “I spoke to Lily yesterday afternoon. Gabriel and Luke took me to see her, and her team.” I paused there, waiting out his reaction. He knew this part but I wanted to know his feelings on it.
His steel eyes flashed. His lips parted for a moment, though he stayed quiet. He was considering a response.
“You’ve spoken to her before?” I asked, although it was more a statement than a question.
He nodded slightly, warily. “What did you learn there?” he asked.
“About how her team managed to stay together, despite the Academy testing them and asking them to do something else. She kept her team, her and four other guys. They are still together.”
Mr. Blackbourne inclined his head. “What are your thoughts on this?”
I sucked in a breath and my lip trembled. I couldn’t stop it. I’d bottled up so much around the others, and had had to suffer through class.
Lily had said to talk to him. I needed to confide in someone. Someone who was level-headed and could tell me if what I was doing was the right thing.
Before I could answer his question, Mr. Blackbourne leaned in. He placed one gentle finger on my chin, directing my attention to him.
It was a small touch, meant only to make me fo
cus.
It warmed me, soothing my whirlwind of thoughts.
Mr. Blackbourne wasn’t against me. He was with me. Right now, he needed to know where I stood.
“While I was there,” I said, “I wanted to try things her way. I...I liked it. The thought. I’m not sure if I should...” I didn’t know how to express it. “It’s not normal. The Academy doesn’t like it.”
“The Academy wants us to be happy,” he said quietly.
“We’re not all happy,” I said.
His eyes flared. “What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice sharp, cutting through me, making me startle.
“It’s too difficult,” I said. I moved my face away from his finger, needing a release. I blinked back my nervous tears and swallowed the thickness developing in my throat before it waivered my voice. “Luke’s unsure. Gabriel’s upset right now. He might have been okay with me joining the Academy, but I don’t know. He seemed okay with Lily’s way of doing it yesterday, but then last night he was upset with Victor.”
“What did Victor do?” he asked.
“Nothing!” I said, and then pulled back, immediately sorry for speaking so loud. “When he picked us up, he was just being nice, talking about going to the spa. Gabriel said he spent too much money on me. When he was asked to go out and let McCoy chase him around, he left angry. This morning he was really quiet. I can’t tell if he’s still angry.” I dropped my head, my hands moving toward my face to cover it. “We shouldn’t have gone. It would have been better if we’d never gone. It’s too hard.”
Silence filled the room. I rubbed my forehead and temples with my fingers, pain radiating from my heart. I was sure this was the reason the Academy would ask us to separate. It was inevitable. The flicker of a headache pulsed in my head. I thought of claiming I was sick, so I could have a day in bed. Maybe I should have taken Silas up on his offer to grab cots in the nurse’s office.
My thoughts were out of control. Unanswered questions spiraled around.
