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Only after he was gone did I realize Gabriel’s phone was still with him. I didn’t have the chance to fix things or help. I’d be in the dark.
I imagined he’d done it on purpose. I couldn’t blame him. One word from Gabriel, and I’d have probably walked barefoot through coals over miles just to fix everything I’d done.
AMID SILENCE, STORMS BREW
The wind swept against my skin, prickling with chill and dampness. I leaned against the railing, facing the oncoming breeze. I sucked down the clean air, filling my lungs. A moment of calmness.
I wasn’t ready to return to the hotel room. I’d messed up. How could I face the others knowing the mistakes I’d made? The truth I knew now?
Gabriel might be coming for me, maybe with the intention to run off with me and get away from the Academy.
If I stayed outside too long, someone would notice. To find the courage, I told myself North would fix things. He had promised he would. I needed to trust.
I urged my nerves to settle.
I went back to the hotel room and had to knock to be let in.
Nathan opened the door. He smiled and looked past me and then smirked. “Where’d North go?”
“He took off,” I said. I was going to say something to make an excuse as to where he’d gone, but then, I couldn’t lie, and I couldn’t think at all what to say. “He told me to come back in and stay.”
“Huh,” Nathan said. He moved aside, letting me in and then leaned out the door. He glanced toward the road, where a pizza delivery car was pulling into the hotel parking lot. “That’s got to be our pizza.”
“Make sure it is,” Kota called to him. “Check to make sure it isn’t Volto or someone else.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Nathan said, and walked over to the stairwell, where the pizza guy had turned in and was driving slowly. The door closed behind Nathan, leaving me alone with Kota and Silas.
Kota patted the spot next to him on the bed. “Do you want to sit here, or at the table?”
I didn’t want to be close to anyone right then. I had messed things up, possibly causing Gabriel to run off. If North didn’t fix things, I’d have to face Kota and the others and explain to them why Gabriel had felt the need to run off.
I’d be next. I’d have to leave the group if I was causing this much chaos. The Academy would take one look at me and blame me for breaking up the group. They would say they had been correct in determining groups can’t function with one girl and a bunch of boys. They would say Lily’s group was a rare exception.
“At the table,” I said, “if we’re going to eat pizza.” It was a good enough excuse to sit away from them for a while. I didn’t want to be comfortable when I felt I should be in trouble for what I’d done.
The edge of Kota’s lips turned down, but then he got up from the bed. He pulled up the other chair at the table. He sat down in it next to me, briefly touching my hand. He said nothing. As he then pulled his things off the table to make room for the oncoming pizza boxes, he said, without words, things that only I understood. He knew something was wrong. I might not talk about it, but he’d stand by me.
It hurt more than helped, because I couldn’t stop myself thinking about how badly I had screwed up, worried he’d hate me once he learned the truth.
I had no way to know what was going on outside the hotel room. The only thing I could do was sit and wait.
It was agony.
Nathan returned with pizza. Surprisingly, Victor trailed in behind him.
“What are you doing here?” Kota asked. “Aren’t you supposed to be—”
“There’s been a changeup,” Victor said quickly. His eyes scanned the room and then settled on me. He smiled weakly. Something was up. He knew about it. “Mr. Blackbourne told me to come here.”
He knew. Victor and apparently Mr. Blackbourne did know, too.
I sunk into the chair, pulling my feet under me and curling up. He didn’t have to say it. Somehow, he knew what was going on.
Kota’s eyebrows shifted and he looked confused. “Are we still tracking Gabriel and Luke?”
“Yeah,” Victor said. He pulled his phone out from his pocket and swiped at it a bit. “I’m watching them. I’ll get my laptop from the car in a minute and will keep better tabs. I just wanted to check in.”
Kota nodded. He stood up and then moved to the door. “Do you want to fill me in? We can go get your things.”
Victor looked at me and then nodded stiffly. “Sure,” he said. He opened the door, stepping back outside. Kota followed.
I let out a breath. I wasn’t sure how much he’d tell Kota. I was about ready to simply give up. Bottled up secrets screamed to be released. Lily. Gabriel. Me. All of it.
No wonder Mr. Blackbourne had been keeping it to himself.
If only Mr. Blackbourne and North informed us all right from the start, when we could all sit and talk about it, and not when we were splintered and running from McCoy.
Kota was going to ask Victor why plans had changed.
I sunk as low in the chair as I could. My fault. Whatever they’d been planning to do, this might destroy it.
Nathan started opening pizza boxes. One of them had half of a pizza containing bacon, pepperoni and extra cheese: Nathan’s. The other half contained chicken, black olives and pineapple.
Nathan picked up one of the thin slices that contained the chicken side of ingredients. He showed it to me. “Can I try? You won’t eat half a pizza by yourself, will you?”
I shrugged, encouraging him to eat. Secretly, I hoped he’d eat all of it. I’d have to nibble at something around them, but I couldn’t imagine eating. My stomach was tied up in so many knots, I couldn’t even imagine swallowing water.
Nathan ate a big bite of the slice. “Hm,” he said, talking while he chewed. “It’s not bad, actually.”
“It’s an abomination,” Silas said, standing by. He reached out for the slice Nathan was holding. “Let me try.”
Nathan passed over the slice. Silas took a bite. He chewed and swallowed. “It’s not pepperoni.”
“It’s not bad, though, is it?” Nathan took another bite. “Actually, it’s pretty good. It’s like that bite of sweet with everything else being salty.”
“That’s not a pizza,” Silas said, taking the other large box over to the bed where he opened the lid and picked up a slice. “It’s something else, but not pizza.”
“Tell me you wouldn’t eat it,” Nathan said.
“I’d eat it,” Silas said. “But you can’t call it pizza. It’s only pizza if it’s got pepperoni on it.”
Kota and Victor returned. I remained still, watching Kota, but trying not to make eye contact. He didn’t seem too upset. I wasn’t sure what Victor might have told him. I was worried maybe Kota was trying to hide his feelings from the others.
That didn’t seem to be the case though. Kota went to the pizza boxes. He tore open the top of a couple of boxes to create makeshift plates. “Who wants to eat North’s since he’s gone?”
“He’s not coming back?” Nathan asked.
“I don’t think he’ll be back tonight,” Victor said. “I’m taking his place.”
Nathan opened the box with North’s pizza. It was a large, thin crust with minimal cheese and covered in tomato, spinach and mushrooms. There were slices of ham mixed in.
Victor made a face. “He might as well have ordered a salad.”
“We can order another one,” Kota said.
“I can share a slice or two,” Silas said, and came over with his box, of which he’d already eaten three slices. He swapped out two of his pepperoni slices for some of North’s. “Now I can tell him I ate vegetables this week. At least he skipped the jalapeno peppers this time.”
Nathan grunted, picking up a slice of North’s pizza and trying a bite. “It’s not horrible,” he said. “I like Sang’s better.”
Victor squinted at the collection of different pizzas. “Which one is Sang’s?”
Nathan pointed to the
chicken pizza. “Chicken, black olives and pineapple.”
Victor examined the pizza. “Interesting.”
I grimaced. Victor knew about what was going on, and yet he didn’t seem to be upset or too concerned. Maybe North would fix it. Maybe this was all temporary. Maybe Kota was right that he needed a nap and then Gabriel would see things more clearly. North could relieve Gabriel and run around with my phone to give Gabriel time to rest.
It seemed logical. It felt like what North would try to do.
I was grateful for that.
