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Would I be able to last the week? At the end of it, would I be strong enough to say I wanted to stay with them?
A CAMP AT NIGHT
The other teams returned to the beach as they finished. The rangers didn’t seem interested in us, according to Victor and Luke. They even told them about updating their map, which they appreciated. No one had done it in years.
Luke collected maps. He and Ian drew a more up-to-date version with what everyone had managed to piece together.
Eventually, Ian and Taylor decided to take their teams back to their own campsites. It was getting dark and cold and they wanted to get to sleep early so they could be up at dawn to help with the final parts of the map.
I had been quiet the entire time and remained so as I followed the guys back to our own camp. I tried not to think about other teams being around. In a way, I’d hoped it would be more like school when everyone finally showed up. I could blend in a little more, and become a forgettable face in the crowd.
No one held my hand or did much more than the odd friendly pat or offer a nice comment. It normally wasn’t a big deal, but now I was questioning my every move. No one had said anything about how we should act around each other, but were we supposed to not give the impression we were more than just friends?
I wanted to ask, but as soon as full night hit, it was getting very cold out. The boys tried to teach me how to light the campfire near their tent, but I was shivering pretty hard to strike flint. I made a few sparks but it was hurting my fingers. Kota ended up getting it going, saying I was on the right track.
Kota had us take out lanterns that were now scattered about the site. We huddled together on the rocks around the fire pit in front of the boys’ tent, watching the flames and listening to the crackles and pops of the burning logs.
The latrine lights were on, but from where we were, it sent up a spooky gray glow above the trees nearby.
As a group, we visited the bathrooms, with Silas and Nathan checking my side for spiders before I went in. I used the restroom and washed my face and hands in the sink. If I kept on top of keeping clean, maybe I wouldn’t get so grungy down the road. I felt sand in my shoes, but I figured we’d all be stuck with that for the week.
Back at camp, I sat between Silas—the human furnace—and Nathan, who cuddled close. I was hoping Kota would come back and sit down, but he was constantly up checking things, running back and forth from the tent and looking at stuff on the map we’d created. He never seemed to stop long enough to relax.
We ate sandwiches because no one wanted to cook other than heating marshmallows over the fire. No one wanted to move away from the heat.
“It’ll be different tomorrow,” North said. “We’ll be more used to the cold.”
“It’s going to drop down close to thirty-four tonight,” Kota said. “Almost cold enough to snow.”
I bit my lip, thinking of my tent far away from the others. That was really cold. I’d freeze to death.
I was stuck, though. One night. There was no guarantee other nights would be any warmer and I wanted to get my one night in my own tent over with.
While I wanted to talk to the others, the fire was mesmerizing and I could only stare while thoughts whirled around in my head. I kept my glove-covered hands tucked into my arms, my knees and face warmed by the heat. My hat was doing okay but I was thinking of a blanket and bed so that I could get the first night over with.
Yet, I didn’t want to sleep yet, because that meant I’d be up for tomorrow, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for tomorrow.
I hadn’t been prepared for people to show up so soon, and I was working through what had happened. Embarrassment rattled through me as I thought of the others finding us dancing. I knew it wasn’t a big deal, but that normally wasn’t something I would do in front of anyone else. Not talking at first made it harder to talk at all as the day drew on, and eventually, it seemed like it was best if I didn’t.
What could I have to say to anyone?
The guys talked about the map and the other teams.
“She said I’ve grown up,” Gabriel said. He sat closest to the fire, and from where I was sitting, it looked like his knees were practically in the flames. He huddled on the log he was sitting on, his hat low on his head, his jacket tight as he hugged himself. “Did I really get taller? It doesn’t feel like it.”
“You keep buying new pants,” Kota said. “You haven’t noticed?”
“And she hit me for cursing.”
“You’ve been slipping a lot more lately. I told you once you make it a habit, you might not be able to control it. Not everyone sees them as just words.”
“Yeah, well, not everyone likes violence either.”
“She hit you with paper,” Silas said, his deep voice rumbling through me.
“And the corner of it got me in the scalp,” Gabriel said, pointing at his hat. He rubbed at the ribs of the material near the top of his ear. “I could have gotten a papercut.”
“If you’re that offended, you should have said something,” North said.
“Will you all let me gripe? Can’t I talk shit about another team a little without the therapy session? Geeze. I’m just talking.”
Kota stood on the other side of the fire, opposite to me. The glow lit up his face in an almost spooky way, reflecting off his glasses, the flickering shadows making him look fierce. He put his hands on his hips to address us. “Well, it’s not getting any warmer out here. Do we want to call it an early night? I know it’s just after eight but might as well try. We should get up before dawn to take advantage of the light when it comes up to finish the maps. It’ll be a long day tomorrow.”
There were a lot of grunts but North stood up, and then Victor. That seemed to be enough to motivate the rest of them to get moving.
I didn’t want to get up because it meant going to my tent by myself. I’d already promised I would, and while I didn’t want to, I had to endure it for one night.
I stared off to the fire as others started moving around me, putting things away and getting ready for bed. Nathan and Silas had stood up, picking up lanterns and helping to put out the fire. Luke and Victor wandered off to the latrine once more.
I was thinking about how I was supposed to be getting some time with Kota but was running out of opportunities if the rest of the Academy would be arriving tomorrow.
“You look sleepy,” Kota said from behind me.
I nodded, but really, I was sure I’d be awake most of the night, again, going over what I would talk to him and other campers about tomorrow. I’d been distracted all day and lost my focus on whatever I was supposed to tell him about. Could I do it now?
Not to mention it was freezing. I’d probably be up all night shivering. Do tents really keep you that warm?
I breathed in some courage and started to rise, but when I turned toward him, he was gone, lifting a cooler to put it in the back of the Jeep.
Maybe now wasn’t a good time anyway. I was tired and nervous, unsure what to
say. He was probably tired, too.
Maybe spending the night in the tent by myself, proving that I was part of the group, would be a good thing to talk to him about in the morning. I could ask him to take a walk with me, or perhaps escort me to the latrine and talk to him there.
With a plan in place, going back to the tent to try to get some sleep seemed like a good idea. I’d need more energy for everything tomorrow.
I didn’t want to freeze once the fire was put out before getting a head start to my tent. “I’ll just take one of the lamps with me, I guess.”
“Oy,” Gabriel called from just outside the big tent. He stood with his arms wrapped tightly around his chest, his teeth clenched. He shifted from foot to foot. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“I’m gonna go find my tent,” I said. “And get some sleep.”
“Aw no,” Gabriel said. “You’ve got to stay here with us. It’s too cold out there. And it’s dark. There’s bears.”
“Nope,” I said. “I’m going to my tent. You said I had to.”
Kota had returned from the Jeep, coming toward the tent now that most everything else was put away. He took off his glasses and used a cloth from his pocket to clear the dust from the lenses. “You did say that,” he said with a squinty glare at Gabriel.
“Your tent doesn’t have a heater,” Gabriel said. “You can’t stay in there. Didn’t I just say bears? I’m sure there’s a bear over there right now.”
“You can’t lie to get her to do what you want her to do,” Kota said.
Was he lying about the heat or the bear?
“Kota, make her stay,” Gabriel said. “She can’t be out there alone.”
“You started this,” Kota said.
“Goodnight,” I said and marched off toward the trees. The more Gabriel pushed, the more I wanted to do this. Being part of their team meant so much to me that I would do everything they said they’d done. Kota would think I was brave and capable.
I headed toward the line of trees, to the small trail that stretched between the sites. I listened for someone following but didn’t hear anything except Gabriel still arguing with Kota about why I should come back.
