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“They’re right. Now isn’t the time to decide. You need to sleep.”
“I can’t go back to my tent,” I said.
He didn’t reply but took my hand again and led me away from the cabin area. I followed, exhausted.
I looked up and was surprised to see not my own campground, or even the boys’, but somewhere I hadn’t been. I looked around, but couldn’t place where we were.
We approached a small tent that glowed faintly—a lamp or flashlight had to be on inside—and Mr. Blackbourne yanked open the zipper before he stepped back. “Get in,” he said.
My heart began to beat wildly again but for different reasons. This had to be his tent. Spring soap was stronger coming from inside, along with some ginger.
I angled myself inside, eager for warmth as well as to hide from anyone who might be nearby. Was he going to talk more in the privacy of the tent before sending me on to sleep with the boys?
The tent was dimly lit, but there was movement on the other side. Dr. Green’s shadowed face appeared in the muted beam of the lamp. He let out a groggy grunt as he sat up on his cot, his hair mussed on one side. He lifted the lamp, adjusting it until the tent was illuminated.
He rubbed at his eyes and then squinted over at us. “What’s going on?”
“Long story,” Mr. Blackbourne said. He urged me toward the second cot, still neatly made. Had Mr. Blackbourne gone to bed at all?
A surge of crazy feelings emerged as I realized he wanted me to sleep in his spot. “What about you?” I asked, my voice barely a squeak.
“Just hop in,” he said, pointing toward the sleeping bag.
I tried to look as calm as possible as I sat on the cot. I kicked off the boots and eased my body between the folds of the sleeping bag. The bag had been turned on to a low setting, but Mr. Blackbourne reached down, turning the knob up.
I glanced over at Dr. Green; his eyes were wide, as he looked from me to Mr. Blackbourne. “I thought we were...”
“Unforeseen circumstances,” Mr. Blackbourne said. “Either come with me now to hear it, or you’ll have to wait until the morning. Either way, she’s not going back to the other group.”
“Well, I have to hear about this.” Dr. Green unzipped his bag. I caught the Led Zeppelin T-shirt, and the dark sleeping pants he wore before he pulled on a long fleece coat and stuffed his feet into boots.
They both moved toward the tent door, but Mr. Blackbourne paused, turning to me and his voice softening. “Will you be okay for a minute by yourself? You can sleep here, can’t you?”
I nodded quickly. I’d sleep anywhere they told me. Just not with the girls. Not now, after...
His face tightened as if he understood. He ducked out of the tent and Dr. Green followed.
I settled in, calming myself and fighting tears. I didn’t want to wet the pillow.
???
I was almost asleep when I heard the zipper opening again. My eyes opened, my heart pounding as I remembered where I was.
I was expecting Dr. Green and Mr. Blackbourne to return. My body automatically shifted a little, expectant that Mr. Blackbourne would need a place to sleep, and I was willing to make room.
I spotted Dr. Green walking in, heading for his cot, but behind him was Gabriel.
My heart soared at seeing his beautiful rugged face, a couple of days’ growth on his chin. His hair was mussed, the blond twisted into the brown. He shrugged off of his coat, wearing a bright orange tank shirt and black pajama bottoms.
But where was Mr. Blackbourne?
“Oy,” he said, his voice gruff from sleep. “Trouble. Scoot over, will you?”
That I could do. I moved instantly, making myself as tiny as possible, feeling the sturdy bar of the cot at my back. He could have all the room he wanted.
Gabriel tucked his feet in first, sliding into the sleeping bag. He grunted, yanking it up and zipping it closed. “Get over here,” he said. “It’s fucking cold.”
My face pressed into his chest as I clutched his shirt. I wanted to tell him I missed him. I wanted to say all the things I’d thought about since he’d been gone. I wanted to tell him what had happened, even though I suspected Mr. Blackbourne had told him already.
His lean arms went around me and his lips found the top of my head.
He kissed my hair and said, “You’re the worst camping buddy ever, you know that?”
I smiled against his shirt. “Sorry.”
“You’re not sorry.” He kissed my brow. “Are you going to stick by me this time?”
“Yes,” I said, and I meant it. I collected his shirt into my fists, pressing my cheek against his body. I’d be his buddy. I’d stick with North. I wouldn’t make anyone go near the ocean. I’d never question Kota when he tried to tell me something from the heart. I’d even squash all the spiders. I promised myself that for the rest of the trip, whether I was allowed in the Academy or not, I’d stay by Gabriel. I’d be the best camping buddy ever. I was so grateful. All I wanted to do was show them I cared so much.
“Lights out,” Dr. Green said. “No funky stuff over there or Sang will have to join me over here.”
I wouldn’t have minded that, either.
THE LAST DAY OF CAMP
As first light shimmered into the tent, I heard Dr. Green dress and leave. I couldn’t force my eyes to open as he did; they burned and felt so swollen, it seemed I would be blind forever.
I almost wanted to be. I wouldn’t have to face anyone then.
I held onto Gabriel the entire night. He snuggled into me, occasionally mumbling, humming some tune in his sleep.
As the morning wore on, I was sure the other campers would be awake, including the girls. I wonder what they would have been told about what happened to me.
I ducked my head against Gabriel’s chest, embarrassed and knowing he probably knew everything. I pressed my cheek against him, listening to his breathing.
He reached up to rub at his nose, sniffing. “Fuck me,” he said. “I don’t want to get up, but I have to take a piss.”
I moaned, not wanting to get up, either, but knowing I should. I wanted to stay in bed all day, for the rest of camp, until it was time to get in the car and leave.
Gabriel turned, pressed his lips against mine and then kissed my nose. “Trouble.”
“No,” I said quietly. I kept my eyes closed and hung on to him. “I don’t want to get up yet.”
Gabriel pressed his mouth to my cheek. He kissed the spot. “I can hold it for a minute, I guess.”
I was so grateful, I trailed a line of kisses from his neck up to his jaw. I found his mouth with closed eyes. I had a fleeting thought about morning breath, but didn’t care, and parted my lips, using my tongue as I kissed him again.
He turned in the bed toward me. He encircled me tighter in his arms, bringing me closer, and kissed back. He opened his mouth, accepting my tongue, tangling his with mine.
My heart sped up as the kiss deepened.
It amazed me how different it was compared to a simple hug the night before with the girls. I didn’t feel sick. I didn’t feel like I needed to recoil from his touch. I wanted it; it felt right. Like it did with all the boys. It gave me hope.
We had to make it work.
I heard a cough and then, “Ahem.”
I gasped as Gabriel backed off. I blinked hard, forcing my eyes open, blinking at Gabriel’s flushed face, too embarrassed to look toward the tent door.
I hadn’t even heard the flap open. If it was Mr. Blackbourne, I’d be totally embarrassed, but at least he was aware and understood, even if it meant I was about to be told it wasn’t appropriate.
As the silence loomed, I finally turned my head and found Kota, standing frozen just inside the tent, holding open the door. He was frowning, looking at Gabriel, and then he looked right at me.
Kota.
My heart stopped, for the hundredth time within the last twenty-four hours. My lungs froze. My face heated to a billion degrees.
There was no way he hadn’t seen us. We were in plain view of the door.
I couldn’t stop staring at his horribly distraught face.
“Kota,” Gabriel said, backing away from me, trying to get the zipper down to let himself out of the sleeping bag. “Geez, man...”
Kota lowered his gaze to the ground. “Sang, they’re waiting for you at the cabins. They want to talk to you. You should go there now.” He paused, still looking at the floor, then he turned and walked away.
I remained in bed, frozen and afraid to move. Fresh tears filled my eyes, but they didn’t fall. “Gabriel,” I croaked out, my voice barely working.
Gabriel had stood up, but dropped to his knees, rocking back on his heels as he rubbing his face with his hands. “Fuck...Jesus...Anyone but him...”
I got up, pushing myself to the end of the cot, my head spinning at sitting up so quickly. “We have to go after him,” I said.
