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“Kota,” Luke said, although I couldn’t see where he was. “We all want to date her. And...”
“I know,” Kota said, a little louder, sounding exasperated. “I know that part. I was just telling her that. Gabe, put her down, please.”
“What?” Gabriel said loudly. “How in the world did you know?”
“You all aren’t that sneaky,” he said. “I’m family lead for a reason.”
“Oh,” Gabriel said and then finally put me down on my feet. He held onto my shoulders, keeping me steady as the blood rushed through my head. “So why did you walk out earlier and why is she crying now?”
“Because I knew about it, but I hadn’t ever...witnessed it. It was surprising and it was hard to see you and her...” He paused, frowning. He sighed and looked at me. “I didn’t mean to stress you out.”
“He doesn’t know about the plan, yet,” I said. “We should tell him.”
“What plan?” Kota asked.
There were more voices over ours as more people walked toward the camper area, perhaps to the latrines. They waved at us.
We forced polite smiles, waving back.
“Maybe not here,” Luke said. “But first—is she in the Academy?”
“Yeah,” Kota said. “At least for now. We’re her starter team.”
“Kota bought us more time,” I said.
“I imagine it’s for while she’s still in school, and while we’re on this job,” Kota continued. “So we’ve got until June, at least, before they might want to reevaluate.”
“Then maybe we should go home,” Gabriel said, looking over his shoulder. “I don’t want to get into the plan here. I don’t want word to get out what we’re up to, and then be questioned to death by a council.”
“What plan?” Kota asked. “Just tell me.”
“We will,” Luke said. “Somewhere private.”
“But if you’re cool with us dating her, then it might not be as bad as what you’re probably thinking,” Gabriel said. “Just trust us.”
Kota slowly nodded. “Okay. Let me take Sang to get her cleaned up. Have someone bring us a towel and some new clothes? I’ll find some empty showers somewhere. The rest of you, pack up everything. I want to leave right away.”
“Yes!” Luke said, raising a fist. His eyes lit up and he grinned. “No campground clean-up duty!”
“They’ve got enough volunteers,” Kota said. “And we were here early to set up. It should be fine as long as we’re picking up after ourselves.” He reached for my hand. “Shall we go?”
I nodded, relieved, enthusiastic and hopeful. “Yeah,” I said. We had a chance.
Maybe it would work out after all.
ALL LAID BARE
As we approached the camper latrine, we could tell by all the voices that it was full of people. The secret was out that these showers were nicer.
I didn’t want to go in anyway. I was afraid Carla and Lake or any of the others were in there, and I couldn’t face them now.
I told Kota this and he agreed to walk with me to the other latrine. He promised to scope it out and ensure I got a space to myself. We’d wait if we had to.
It took us some time to get there. Once we did, the only noise was from the girls’ side.
Kota peeked in the boys’ area and then looked back out at me. “No one’s in there,” he said. “You can clean up in here.”
He reached for my hand and led me in. Compared to the camper latrine, this one looked so much more dingy, with the paint peeling from the concrete block walls, the rusty sinks, and the spider webs up in the corners.
I could deal with that for now.
I used the toilet first and washed my hands. As I did, I looked at Kota, leaning on the sink next to mine, doing something with his phone. The door was closed. “Did you lock it?”
“It’ll be fine,” he said. “If anyone comes up, I’ll tell them...something.” He finished with his phone and slipped it into his pocket. “Someone’s bringing soap and other stuff. Do you want to...uh...” His cheeks turned red. “Hop...hop in the shower?”
I bit my lip, shaking my head. “I’ll...just wash in the sink...” I reached for the water, intending to wipe my face. I could feel the streaks of tears across my cheeks and I imagined I looked like a mess.
“Sang,” he said, with a tight smile. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’ve got sand all over, and you’re filthy. I don’t care personally, but I wouldn’t want to get sand all over North’s Jeep. He’ll complain for months if it gets everywhere and he can’t vacuum it all out. He still swears there’s sand in his bike after you all went to the beach.”
Now that he said so, I could feel the sand in creases, the dirt in my hair.
“Turn around?” I croaked as the panic rose in my throat. “Maybe you should stay by the door?” My goal was to shoo him out, wash very well in the sinks, and fake it until we got home.
“Don’t worry about someone coming in,” he said. “I locked it. That should be good enough. I’ll answer it when someone comes with soap and clothes.” His cheeks reddened again. “Oh, do you mean…I’m not going to look. I swear.”
I had to agree. It wasn’t about him possibly seeing me naked.
He faced the door and waited. “Maybe…should I stay outside? But the showers are around the corner. I can hand you soap and a towel without looking.”
He still assumed I was taking a shower. “I can wait for soap,” I said. I turned, and he appeared to be heading for the door. I kicked off the boots and stepped out of my jeans first, then pulled the sweater over my head. I left the clothes in a heap on the floor, hoping spiders didn’t crawl into them. I was still in a modest bra and underwear, more material than some bikinis.
I squirmed as I padded my way to the sink. Touching the cold concrete floor with my feet, compared to the clean white tiles of the other bathroom, made me feel even more dirty. Like bugs could crawl up my legs at any moment. I imagined the showers were horrible, too.
I turned on the faucet; I had to at least rinse off most of the packed-on dirt until I could get proper soap. Once I was undressed, I realized just how dirty I was, parts of me caked with sand even some bits of grass in places. I glanced in the mirror at my hair, which looked stringy and dull. I really needed a full bath.
Kota turned slightly the moment the water started running, keeping his eyes on the wall, but clearly able to see what I was doing in his peripheral vision. “Sorry, I thought…” He paused and then looked up again in surprise. “That’s not going to work,” he said. “Go get in the shower.”
“This will be fine,” I said, although I squeaked it out.
“The showers aren’t that bad,” he said and then started to look my way but stopped himself, his body going rigid. “Can I turn around?”
“I guess,” I said. He’d seen me in a bathing suit, skimpier underwear than what I was wearing now, and a towel.
He turned, looking once at me before he walked past me, toward the shower area. “Yeah, you need this,” he said. He disappeared beyond the wall. “I’ll warm it up for you. Come back here.”
I froze at the sink. “I don’t need to,” I squeaked out. He’s going to make me take a shower! I had to tell him. My heart was in my throat. “Kota...”
He came back around, and headed toward me, gesturing me toward him. “Trust me,” he said with a smile. “There’s no spiders, either. I can stay nearby and squish any if you’re worried about it.”
Spiders were not the problem right now. The sound of the shower running full blast now made me freeze. I shook where I stood, terrified. My throat closed up, I couldn’t speak. I could barely focus on breathing.
The water seemed to get louder until it was all I could hear, besides the blood rushing through my ears.
I didn’t even hear Kota until he was right next to me.
“Don’t be such a scaredy cat,” he said. “I said there’s no spiders. And it’s not that bad. Come see.”
Before I could move, he scooped me up
, carrying me toward the showers.
Panic washed over me, and I clung to him. “No!” I squeaked out, but it was so light. I tried to hold tight to him, but my body wasn’t working. I couldn’t grip. I tried to squeak out more words, but they caught in my throat as the shower got even louder the closer we got.
“Sang, calm down. North would have a fit if you got into his Jeep so dirty. I’ll go in with you if you’re so afraid a spider will get in there. Nothing to be afraid of. I’m here.”
I tried to get him to drop me to stand, but he was strong. I couldn’t get the words out past my throat, my breathless whispers falling on deaf ears.
Once Kota passed the wall into the actual shower area, my eyes darted everywhere. The rusty shower heads. Several poking out of the wall.
Like the showers at school.
The paint was peeling from the walls here, too. The concrete slab floor had a simple drain in two spots where water was already running into it.
Kota put me down on my feet but my legs were boneless and I sunk down, crouching with my face on my knees. I wrapped my arms around my body, making myself into a ball.
I couldn’t move. I could barely breathe. The echo of the shower was deafening. I didn’t even hear Kota getting undressed. I didn’t notice anything until he picked me up again, in his arms.
“Come on,” he said. “No spiders, I swear. There’s no one else here. We’ll go in together. I know it’s a lot of rust and looks dirty. Two minutes and we’re done. I promise. I know after I’ve had a stressful day, a shower always perks me up. Don’t let the rust scare you.”
