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He brushed a palm over his chin, the dark, coarse hairs making scratching sounds against his skin. His tired eyes sought out mine. “What?” he asked, a little harshly.
I forced myself not to wince. I reached for his phone, taking it from his resistant hands and putting it facedown on the table. “Take a nap,” I said.
He glared at me, shot a look at Nathan and then turned back to me. “We’ve got things to do.”
“Yes. Nathan and I have things to do. North needs to sleep.” I stood, tugging his arm. “Come on.”
Nathan backed up to let me lead North out of the kitchen.
When we got to the hallway, all the doors were closed. I headed to Nathan’s bedroom but caught the heavy scent of dust. It faded the moment we were inside the bedroom.
Odd. Was the air conditioner vent dusty in the hallway? It didn’t use to smell like that in there.
In the bedroom, I turned on the light. Nathan’s bed was a wreck of pillows, and the comforter was on the floor.
Silently, I picked up a pillow, fluffed it and placed it on the bed. “Lay down,” I said softly.
North scooped up the comforter, and then draped it across the bed.
He crawled over the bed, collapsing with a hard thud on top of the comforter. He stuffed an arm under the pillow, pressing the side of his face to it. “Just wake me up in a few minutes.”
“No,” I said, still in the same quiet voice. I was being very daring, given his grumpy mood, but I didn’t want him to think he’d have to get up anytime soon.
I closed the blinds tight and turned off the overhead light and the one in the closet. There was still a grayness to the room as some light trickled in between slats in the blinds, but it was dark enough.
His boots were still on. I sat at the foot of the bed and picked up his foot, tugging at the shoestring.
He lifted his leg and tugged it away from my hands. He got up on his elbow to glare at me. “I can take my own damn boots off.”
“I’ll do it,” I said quietly, not rising to his heated tone.
His glare continued, I stared back, trying to relax my face and not look as terrified as I felt on the inside. His dark eyes were wild. The shadows across his face made him look dangerous enough that he’d just have to bark at me and his words stab me through.
When it wasn’t enough to make him relent, I pouted. I didn’t want to make him feel helpless, but he was going to just pass out with his shoes on, and I wanted him to get good sleep in.
He frowned, but relaxed again, putting his head down and bringing his leg back.
I removed his boots, leaving his socks on. I knee-walked on the bed until I was sitting on his butt and tried to do the thing he had done to me last night, massaging his back along his spine.
He mumbled something, but then when I leaned in to check, his eyes were closed.
I massaged for a few more minutes, until I was sure I was hearing his steady breathing.
Finally. I was rather proud of myself for getting him to take a nap without a fight. Maybe I was getting the hang of him.
I breathed out slowly and eased myself off the bed as silently as I could. Tiptoeing, I left and closed the door.
Back in the kitchen, Nathan had a lower cabinet door open next to the stove. Pans scraped together as he shifted through them.
I hurried to him and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. He paused in what he was doing to look up at me, an eyebrow up.
I held a finger to my lips. “Don’t wake him,” I said. “He just went to sleep.”
He made a face, easing the pot back down onto the shelf. “You need to eat,” he said quietly. “You just had blood drawn and you already have issues with blood pressure.” He closed the cabinet door and stood up, leaning against the stove and looked around. “I didn’t want to just heat up breakfast sandwiches...”
Silence fell between us. I needed to eat better, but breakfast sandwiches had protein, right? Would they be good enough?
When I started to say so, Nathan’s gaze changed. His blue eyes darkened. His cheeks reddened.
Something was wrong, and I didn’t understand what it was. Could it be about earlier, when he’d walked in? Did he consider what might have been happening?
Did it bother him to see even a hint of something going on between me and anyone else?
Yet when I wanted to ask him about it, I couldn’t think of what to say. Dr. Green had told me I should ask them how they felt instead of worrying about it internally, but the words slid away from my tongue quickly. It was a sensitive topic, and I didn’t want to prod him if he wasn’t ready to talk.
When would it be okay to talk about it? And how?
I stared at him for a moment, and considered there was no one else in the house outside of North, and he was asleep.
Life had been surprising. Who knew what Carol might do next? I couldn’t let moments like this slip by.
My lips twitched as I considered what to say.
He pressed his back against the counter, leaning his elbows on the granite, causing his strong arm muscles to flex. Those blue eyes took me in.
“Nathan,” I said softly, pressing my back to the opposite counter facing him.
I froze.
He blinked a few times, his head tilting back. “Sang,” he said.
Another long pause. It was painful. I desperately looked for words and I didn’t know what to ask him to figure out what he was thinking.
Why did I have to wait for him?
I leaned forward with the intent to go to him.
I made it a half step before he pushed himself off the counter and crossed the floor.
My breath caught, my eyes widened, surprised at his rush.
He was focused on my lips.
Nathan pressed his body against me until my back was once again touching the cool granite. His hands grabbed the counter on either side of me.
He bent his head and kissed me.
I closed my eyes, feeling the kiss. My heart raced. Surprise had me keeping still, and happy that he cared enough to kiss me. I relaxed my lips, and kissed him back.
His hands found my waist, and he held strong. As he kissed deeper, his hands dropped to my hips until he was lifting me up. I sat on the counter, my head tilting forward to keep kissing him.
He leaned in until my legs parted and he was pressing his stomach into me.
I held his shoulders, gripping his shirt in my fingers. Every kiss was desperate, and I didn’t even understand why it was, even from me. Not until I realized I hadn’t kissed him in a week. I’d been busy at camp, unable to see him. We had been sleeping near each other prior to that, and seeing each other every day.
My feelings scared me. What did it mean if a kiss with someone like Dr. Green was playful, while with Nathan, it was so intense? I’d missed Dr. Green, but the feelings I had for Nathan were completely different.
I was as desperate for him as he was for me.
After a few moments, Nathan drew back, creating only the tiniest space. His deep blue eyes bored into me when I tried to look at him. As he spoke, his lips traced mine.
“Why can’t you trust me?” he whispered, voice ragged.
I gripped his shoulders tighter in reaction as words caught in my throat. “Wh...I...”
He shook his head and lowered it until he was hugging me tight. His cheek pressed against my chest and heart.
He said nothing else, just held me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him against me. I pressed my lips to his head, kissing it lightly.
“I trust you,” I said, unsure what else to say.
He mumbled against my chest. His hot breath fell across the top of my breast. “The shower. You fainted. I didn’t know...you didn’t like them...”
I sucked in a heavy breath, breathing in the leathery cypress he often carried. The pads of my fingers gripped his shoulders as I held him to me.
I had feared this reaction after they found out.
“I was too embarrassed,”
I whispered, my voice cracking. “I thought something was wrong with me, but it wasn’t life-threatening. I could take baths...”
