She knew why. Becausehewasn’t there.
It was best to face facts. Her struggle came down to the loss of her first and only love, Joshua Ziegler.
She drove her wagon up to the door and set the brake, her shoulders sagging with a long exhale. It exhausted her to deny that struggle over and over. The effort it took to shove it down so she wouldn’t voice the words weighed heavier each day.
But that was the path of great loss.
And even though the loss wasn’t in death, she felt it as such.
Three years had passed since he’d gone back east for medical school. Three years since their spat. Three years since they’d talked. Shared their hearts. Talked of dreams of the future. Until he left, she would’ve never dreamed of life without him. The community expected them to marry. Their families expected them to marry.
She’dexpected them to marry.
The rumble of her father’s wagon brought her thoughts around. This was no time for her pondering. She had work to do.
Every inch of Anna’s body ached as she stepped from thehub of the wheel into the tall, dry grass in front of her home. She stretched but it didn’t help the soreness that seemed to scream from every muscle. With a glance around, she took mental notes of the scene. One she’d sketched a thousand times and would probably do a thousand times more. Other than the growth being too tall around the house, not much had changed in the months she’d been gone with her father.
“I don’t know if it’s me and my old age, but the road seems to get rougher every time we travel it.” Dad’s soft chuckle brought her gaze around.
“It’s not you, I can promise you that.” Turning on her heel, she stretched one more time and then stepped toward the supplies that needed to be unloaded.
A bone-jarring wagon ride over the rough Wyoming terrain for the past five hours had given her insides the impression she was eighty years old rather than a young twenty-one. But such was the life of a traveling paleontologist and his daughter. He went wherever the bones called. She tagged along to sketch and paint everything.
As they unloaded crates, bags, and fresh supplies they’d purchased from the large mercantile up in Green River, she longed to get back to all her sketches from the trip. The bones of the horse-like creature they’d found fossilized in the rock layer weren’t the greatest find her father had ever had, but theywereinteresting. Quite exciting to draw too, since she’d never seen a bone structure quite like it.
As a child, she’d wanted to be a paleontologist just like her father. She’d hung on his every word, watched his every move, and read every tome written on the subject.
But over the years, she’d learned the harsh truth.
Women didn’t pursue science like that. And they most certainly didn’t dig in the dirt. That was unacceptable. And vulgar—according to the women of society who knew about such things.
Although, she had to admit that she’d always admired the work of Mary Anning from Lyme Regis, England. The woman had been a fossil collector pretty much her whole life, and even though she wasn’t given the credit she deserved, her name was still well-known in paleontological discussions. Why couldn’t Anna do the same?
If only she could have known the woman. But Mary Anning had been gone for thirty years and had lived half a world away. Besides, her fossil collecting had been her means of support after her father’s death when she was eleven. Probably why it had been somewhat acceptable. The pity of the public gave allowances now and then.
Anna released her breath as she set down another satchel. Even though she longed to be the one to find the next great discovery in paleontology, her gifting truly was in the sketching. Oh, how she loved every little detail.
Now that they were home, Dad would sequester himself with all his notes and specimens, and she would need to put the house to order once again. After that, she could spend all the time she wanted going through the sketches and reliving their last dig.
They worked together hauling and sorting, enjoying the quiet camaraderie that had become habitual. It didn’t take long to set things in their proper place since they’d left everything clean and in order. The one addition was the layer of dust, which Anna eliminated with the removal of the sheets covering the furniture and quick use of the broom.
“I’ll be in my study, Anna.” Dad’s nose was in a book as he walked down the hall.
She’d figured as much, but unlike her usual desire to get back to her sketches, her insides swirled. The unsettled feeling called for something different from her usual routine. “I think I’ll go see the Zieglers then, if that’s all right with you?”she called after him. “Louise will return tomorrow to help around the house.”
“That’s fine.” His voice vanished as the door clicked behind him. Whether or not he’d heard what she said was the question of the hour, but he’d likely stay buried in his study for the rest of the afternoon anyway.
Anna hauled the tub into her bedroom and filled it with warm water. Washing away all the dirt from the travels made her feel a bit more like herself. She dunked her head to rinse the soap from her hair. She couldn’t wait to see Mary’s family. When her best friend disappeared ten years ago, Anna had spent days and weeks helping the community search for her.
When no trace of her friend had been found, she’d mourned with the family, begging her father to allow her to stay at their home for a few days. Each night, she’d cried herself to sleep in Mary’s bed while Mrs. Ziegler sat in her rocking chair staring out the window at the dark.
It had taken the community months to recover from the loss. Mary’s parents did their best to find joy in their faith and family, but the sorrow never left.
Over the years, Anna spent a lot of time at the Ziegler home. Martha and Joshua were older but had never seemed to mind when their little sister and her best friend tagged along. After Mary disappeared, Anna continued to spend a lot of time with the family. If she wasn’t at school or out on a dig with her father, she could be found at the Ziegler home.
Then Martha got married, which left Joshua and Anna. They’d been comfortable with one another the entirety of their childhoods, but things changed. In the evenings they would read with his parents, she would show them her sketches, and he soon insisted on seeing her home each night.
It didn’t take much for her to develop a deep crush on Joshua. For a long time, she thought it was mutual.
