His mom snickered and said, “More like queen,” causing us all to laugh, except Lysander, who gave his mom a look… until he too cracked up.
“I’d have bought you something nice, but I still don’t have money.”
“You created me a one-of-a-kind piece of art, Kaden. That’s the best gift you could give me. Not only is it beautiful, but I can’t believe you got it to look so much like me.”
“I didn’t,” I said, shrugging. “Dennis did, but maybe after the next lesson, I’ll be able to use my power to make more refined things.”
Lysander looked sad. “I wish you didn’t have to go.”
I sat silently staring at the wall as Lysander leaned against my side.
“I have to. I have to figure out what my powers can and can’t do. More importantly, I have to figure out if I can control them.”
He looked me in the eye. “Are you concerned about that?” he asked.
I sighed. “Yeah, Lysander, I’m concerned about it a lot. I haven’t been able to push my powers to the limits for fear of hurting… well, you mostly, but the other students too.”
He lay back down and rubbed my arm. “It’ll be okay. I trust Elana. She’s not like Dr. Bisbee, she actually cares about us.”
I nodded, knowing he couldn’t see me. “Dr. Fagan will be there too, along with some other experts and specialists. At least, that’s what she told me. The best part is that if I blow the island away, no one is close enough to get hurt.”
“You think you’re gonna blow an island up?”
“No idea. To me, these powers don’t feel as big as everyone makes them out to be. They’re just there. But I know what I did. I know what can happen when I don’t have control, or don’t know what I’m doing. I just…”
“You’re a hero, Kaden. You saved a bunch of kids from horrors only you and they understand. You’re gonna eventually have to believe that and stop seeing yourself as someone who did wrong.”
We’d had the same conversation multiple times, but I still saw myself as the monster. I’d killed the bad guys, but I didn’t know what was happening. Luckily, the kids didn’t get caught up in the chaos that day. No matter what Lysander said, that day Iwasa monster. If I let myself lose control, I could and would be again. That was why I had to go to the island with Elana and Dr. Fagan. That was why I had to push myself to the limit.
Monday morning came, and I got up feeling more than a little trepidation. Lysander had held me tightly all night, even as he slept. I hadn’t slept at all. Mostly I stared at the ceiling in his room.
It wasn’t as simple as Elana said. I knew I could kill myself. I ultimately accepted it as inevitable if I was being honest.
We hadn’t had sex since we’d gotten to Lysander’s home since it was his mom’s house. But we’d cuddled every night. Last night having him hold me as I processed the concern and fear of facing what could be my doom felt right too. Like I was a soldier going off to war.
Dr. Fagan’s airship landed on the street outside the house. I stuffed my bag full of my clothes, and Lysander agreed to take my presents, which included everything from clothes to a deck ofSkip-BoandUnocards, with him back to the school.
I hugged him one last time, then thanked his mom and Pete for letting me stay over the holiday.
The next moment, Dr. Fagan was speeding into the sky and toward… well, honestly, I had no idea where we were headed. Of course, with the G-force pushing my body back against the seat, I didn’t have much chance to ask him.
We whirled through the air and landed outside the school, where a larger airship awaited us. When Dr. Fagan looked over, he asked, “What? You thought we’d be going all the way to the South Pacific in this?” He got out laughing.
I had to slowly take a couple of breaths before exiting the vehicle. The first time I’d ridden with Dr. Fagan, I thought he was trying to test me. Now that I’d ridden with him a few times, I understood he was just insane. Or maybe I was the insane one for getting into his airship.
The larger vessel was luxurious, to say the least. You could sit in a window seat, or if you were afraid of heights, you could sit inside and away from the windows. I didn’t think I was afraid of heights. If I was, Dr. Fagan’s driving would’ve cured me by now, so I sat right next to the huge windows looking out over the landscape.
As we flew, I helped myself to drinks and snacks. I could have watched a movie, but I had a cup of hot cocoa, which I now associated with Lysander. Slowly sipping it as I watched the incredible landscape unfold below me was soothing.
The trip wasn’t a fast one, even in the airship. Flying twice as fast as modern jets, it still took eight hours. I hadn’t slept the night before, so I dozed a lot, which surprised me. I didn’t tend to sleep when I was nervous. There were times when I’d been locked away in the rooms under Briggs’s supervision that I hadn’t slept for days, maybe a week.
I woke up just as we arrived. I guess part of me was at peace because even if I died doing this, I would’ve at least gone out through my own actions, and not because I was being forced to, or because I was someone’s victim.
The island was… well, there wasn’t much to see. I’d heard of volcanic islands like Hawaii, so I’d envisioned a beautiful tropical rainforest paradise. This was definitely not paradise. It was desolate, and the air smelled like sulfur. “Um, what is this?” I asked Elana.
“Hector Island. It’s only fifteen years old, rose out of the sea in less than twenty minutes,” she said. “How do you feel, Kaden?”
I checked myself and shrugged. “Okay.”
