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“You don’t understand how the system works.”

“I do understand,” she says. “You raised me to understand. And what I’m telling you is, the system is broken on this. I don’t need Nate’s money for the rest of his life, I need for what Nate did to me to not be allowed anymore. I want that law on the books. I want a bunch of changes to the laws so that assholes can’t post photos without consent and websites can’t hide behind the Copyright Act with impunity. I want people’s attitudes to change so I don’t get called a slut just because I had sex with my boyfriend and he took some pictures. I want to help make sure nobody else goes through what I did—that Frankie and girls like Frankie won’t ever have to endure that—and what we’re doing, throwing money into a pit with this civil suit, hiding behind Jane Doe—that’s not going to change a thing. So don’t talk to me about justice unless you really want to talk to me about justice, because there are nonprofits you could give the money we’re paying the lawyer that would use it to bring about a lot more justice than this lawsuit that you seem to think I need your permission to walk away from.”

When she’s finished, the whole house is quiet.

The whole world feels quiet, with Caroline’s words just echoing around.

This is what it sounds like, I think, to know exactly what you want.

This is what it sounds like to thrive.

I’ve heard her before like this. Every time, it wrecks me, because I’m so fucking proud of her.

Her dad doesn’t say anything. I watch him, looking for some sign that he’s got pride in her, too.

What he does surprises me: he sits down at the kitchen table and thinks. You can tell he’s thinking because he looks so much like Caroline, his forehead furrowed and his eyes gone far away.

Coffee burbles and drips into the pot. Caroline picks up the dish towel and angrily dries what’s left of the dishes in the sink. At a loss, I start washing again. We finish up. Caroline puts the dishes away.

I lean back against the sink with my arms crossed, trying to understand what this even is.

Where I’m from, men are only good for two things. We learn how to fight, and we learn how to fuck. There isn’t anything much else for us—no jobs you can raise a family on, no other ways to live unless you go looking for them, and even then there’s no guarantee you’re going to find something better.

I found Evan and Rita Tomlinson. They were enough to get me out of Silt, but not enough to teach me some better way of life.

I’ve never watched anybody do what Caroline and her dad are in the middle of doing. They’re arguing, but she’s safe.

This house where she grew up looks like a temple to me, and it’s not the money, it’s that there’s love all over the walls, and good food, and Christmas presents for people they barely know, and shortbread cookies for my sister.

They can do all that and still argue with each other.

They can argue without fucking up their love.

They raised their voices, just like I did. Lost their tempers. But then her dad sat down at the table and shut the fuck up and thought about what Caroline said to him.

He’s still considering it.

And I think, hell, Caroline’s got to be right. She’s so fucking smart, and she brought me here and had this argument right in front of me, so she has to be showing me what she thinks I need to see.

Showing me how to do this.

It’s not impossible. It’s just something I have to learn.

I’m good at learning, even if I’m complete shit at everything else.

Out of the blue, Caroline’s dad asks me, “What do you think?”

“About what?”

“Nate.”

“I’d like to see him get what’s coming to him. But to be honest, short of the death penalty, I’m not sure there’s anything that could happen to him that I’d think would be as bad as what he deserves. And I figure, even before the pictures, he already screwed up and lost Caroline, so he’s got a lifetime of regretting that ahead of him.”

Caroline’s giving me an oh-please kind of look.

“What? He does. He had you, and he lost you. Stupidest move of his life. You’ll be in the White House someday, and he’ll be telling his sad drinking buddies at the lonely bar where he wastes his time, She was mine once, but I fucked it up.” I glance at Caroline’s dad. “Sorry.”

“For what?”

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