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A smile spreads over his lips as his eyes meet mine. The way he looks at me is the exact opposite of the way he looked at that alarm clock. It's like I've done him right, like he wants more of me for every second of every day forever.
Damn, I'm already melting.
"Come back to bed. We have another hour." His fingers brush my thigh, my arm, my hand. The touch is affectionate, like we're old lovers.
I guess in a way we are.
Sitting in his bed, watching the morning light illuminate his chiseled features, I might as well be his wife. He might as well be my husband. We might as well have promised each other happily ever after.
But we haven't.
We won't.
I need to go before I get lost in this fantasy.
I plant a kiss on his forehead. "I have to catch up on work. I'll meet you on the bus."
He looks at me with all the affection in the world. He nods then his eyelids press together and he falls back onto the bed.
It takes all the strength I have to leave.
After a long run, a few sets of bodyweight exercises, and a shower, I pack and head to the tour bus.
I get set up in the kitchenette with my headphones, my textbook, and my armada of gel roller pens. I should use pencils like most of my classmates. I should at least buy cheaper pens if I'm going to chew the cap off them. But I can’t. I love the smooth line these leave.
/> It makes math feel as grand and important as it is.
I'm so lost in work I barely notice Kit's arrival. He nods then plops on the couch with a video game.
Two problems later, Mal steps onto the bus. He and Kit share a particularly strained look. It's strange. I'm pretty sure Mal spent the night with yet another fuck buddy. He should be rested and relaxed, but he looks frustrated and unhappy.
I'm sure the man is frustrated often—it is hard being in charge—but he usually hides it well.
He stops by my alcove to say hello. "Hey, Vi. Where's Ethan?" His eyes bore into mine. Abandoning him already? I thought we talked about this.
I chew the cap off my pen. "He's catching up on sleep."
"Hmmm."
Okay. I'll set the record straight for everyone involved. "Our relationship is casual." Something I'm sure Mal understands. "I don't have him on a leash. As long as he's not screwing other women, he's free to do anything he wants."
Mal opens his mouth to say something but he's interrupted by Joel stepping onto the bus. Joel has two modes in the morning—bursting with caffeinated energy and miserable with a hangover.
He's in the former mode today.
He takes a quick look around the bus. "Damn, Valentine, wasn't it bad enough you needed Ethan's hands during the sound check? Did you have to fuck him so hard he couldn't drag his ass to the bus?"
"Of course I had to. Have you ever looked at Ethan?" I tease back. Joel is a bit of a handful, but he's fun.
"More than I wanted to, yes. Thank you for orchestrating that, by the way." Joel shoots Kit an incredulous look, no doubt some reminder that Kit and Ethan had a threesome.
Kit shrugs, unmoved.
Honestly, I don't care what Ethan did or with whom. I believe that he was sleeping around to forget me. But that's confusing. If he wanted me he could have apologized. He could have called. He could have had me again.
He could still have me.
All he has to do is promise he won't let me leave again.
