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"It's really none of my business." I drink until my face is warm. I do not want to be a part of this conversation.
From the way Mal is staring, I'm not getting the feeling it's a choice.
Mal looks to Joel. "Six months ago, twenty grand went missing from the band's account. One week after Kit got out of rehab, the money was replaced."
Joel's eyes flare with frustration.
Mal stares.
"Bullshit," Joel says."
“It's the most likely scenario," Mal says.
"Are you fucking kidding me?"
Mal says nothing.
"You have proof?" Joel asks.
Mal holds steady. "Not yet." He looks to me like he's expecting me to explain.
Under the table, Ethan squeezes my hand.
"I… I didn't say it was Kit. I just saw that the money went missing. It was in a few withdrawals, small enough to avoid attention. It came back the same way. I had no idea who took it, if it even was one of you, and Mal didn't tell me. So don't pin this on me." I press my palm against Ethan's.
Anger creeps over Joel's face as he turns to Mal. "Kit and I may not be blood, but he's my family as much as Ethan is yours. He wouldn't fuck me over."
Mal ignores his claims. "We need to discuss what we're going to do."
"Oh, it's not The King's orders? You're actually going to treat this band like a fucking democracy?"
Mal says nothing.
"Fuck you, Malcolm." Joel pushes himself up. He takes a step backwards. "Sorry you got dragged into this bullshit, Valentine. If my date asks where I went, make up something entertaining. I can't stand to be in the same fucking city as this asshole."
"Where are you going?" My voice is meek. I'm not good with conflict, not when I have to stick around.
"I'll be at the show in Chicago. Until then." He nods goodbye to me and to Ethan, then he turns and hightails it out of the bar.
Ethan and Mal stay planted in their seats. Neither one of them is going after him. Is that good sense to let Joel cool off, is it cowardice, is it something else entirely?
I don't know and I don't feel right being part of this conversation. It's like I'm a member of the family. Like everyone expects me to stick around. Like everyone expects me and Ethan to be together forever.
That isn't going to happen.
Fuck, I'm so fucking bad at this whole pulling back thing. I need to move. Now.
"Excuse me." With my next swig, I finish my drink. "This isn't any of my business. I'll leave you two to talk about it. Alone."
Ethan's blue eyes meet mine. He strokes the space between my thumb and forefinger with his thumb. "Stay."
I shake my head. I have about one minute of calm left in me. I'm terrified of the intensity of my feelings for him. "It's really none of my business. You
two should work it out." Thankfully, this is a wide booth. I barely manage to squeeze past Ethan. "I'll see you later."
"Yeah, later." Mal nods goodbye before Ethan has a chance to respond.
If I look into Ethan's eyes, I'm going to stay. I'm going to melt and do whatever it takes to make him smile.
