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Joel throws his arms into the air in a damn, this man is helpless gesture.
"She's meeting you halfway," Kit says. "You need to do the same. You need to prove you'll make her a priority."
He's right.
They're all right.
Violet's always been there for me. Always.
If I really want her to be mine forever, I have to prove I can do the same.
The how is the tricky part.
But— "I have an idea. I'll need your help. All three of you."
In unison, the three of them say, "I'm in."
Sometimes, it's not so bad having three older brothers.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Violet
The next day, Saturday, is miserable. Athena checks up on me every five to fifteen minutes. It's sweet that she's concerned, but mostly I want to curl up into a ball and disappear until this hurts a little less.
Thankfully, she has a meeting for her group project on Sunday. I get the apartment to myself and I use the time to chain drink homemade matcha lattes while binge-watching Battlestar Galactica. This must be the tenth time I've seen the show, but it's as good as the first. There's something about the distrust and the suspicion and the way traitors backstab the people they've been pretending to love and support for years.
It would be easier if Ethan really had stabbed me in the back, but he didn't. He can't help how he feels. He can't help that music matters more to him than I do.
He can't help that he's unwilling to put me first.
The heart wants what it wants.
I know that, because my heart has wanted Ethan since the day he tried to teach me how to play I'm Only Happy When It Rains on his prized Les Paul guitar. He never lets anyone else touch that guitar. Only me.
He was patient with me that day. No matter how many times I missed the same notes, no matter how horribly I failed to get my fingers to form chords, no matter how many times I let the guitar pick slip from my fingers, he started at the beginning.
He looked at me like he'd wait for me forever.
Maybe he would have waited for me to throw away everything in my life to be his sidekick. But I'll never be happy like that.
I'm still on the couch, turning everything over, when Athena gets home from her group project. She's soaked wet from the rain.
Still, her eyes go straight to me. She hangs her coat on the rack, plops on the couch next to me, and slides her arm around me.
"You hanging in there?" she asks.
I nod. "Tell me I'll stop missing him eventually."
"You will, but it might take a while."
"You didn't have to add the part at the end."
She laughs. "You'll stop missing him eventually."
"When is eventually?"
"Just before never."
