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She smiles. "If you don't like it, I'll buy you an entire cake."

"From that place across the street?"

"Let me guess: matcha and lemon?"

"What else?"

She nods. "Hope you like it. Those cakes are nearly a hundred bucks." She motions for me to sit. When I do, she goes to the bar and orders drinks.

I rest my elbows on the table. Then my arms, my hands, my head. I'm tired and I still have a million and one emotions running through me.

It's going to hurt less one day. I'm going to not miss him one day. But I'm not sure that I'm ever going to love anyone the way I love Ethan. Not any day. Not ever.

Athena returns with a vodka soda for me and a whiskey sour for her. "Ethan said Thanks. If you're wondering about his texts. To be more exact he said: Thanks, I'm going to do my best to win over the audience."

"He doesn't need any help with that."

"I suggested he strip if he has trouble."

I glare at her. "You did not."

"All the way to buck naked." She smiles. "He seemed on board."

"Athena, you did not!"

She laughs. "I did not."

There's something about the look on her face. She's got something up her sleeve. I'm not sure what it is. I trust her, but I don't like surprises.

I take a long sip of my vodka soda. It's the top shelf stuff, clean and crisp. With my next two sips, I finish the drink.

"You want another?" she asks. "Drinks are on me today."

"No. This is enough. If I get drunk, I'll start crying and I'll call him and God knows what I'll say."

"I won't let you have your phone back."

"I'll find a way." I push myself up and nod to the ladies' room. "You're a good friend. I know I never say that stuff, but you are."

"Thanks, Violet." She smiles, but she's got all this excitement in her eyes.

Strange.

Very strange.

My bladder won't allow me to contemplate the matter any further. I make my way through the room—has the light been this purple the whole time?—and find the bathroom, which is also quite purple.

What a weird dive bar in a weird location.

I wash my hands five more times than is necessary. I smooth every stray strand of hair. I touch up my makeup. I only mean to add a little lipstick, but once I get my hands in my mini makeup bag, I can't help myself.

This is a day that requires quite a shield.

But I think I'm tired of screaming fuck off to the world. I'm tired of pushing people away. Yeah, Ethan broke my heart again, but he opened me up to joy too. He helped ease my pain too.

All this agony fucking sucks, but missing out on all the pleasure he brought me would be worse.

I apply extra eyeshadow anyway.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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