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"Why does it matter so much to you?"
"Because you matter that much to me."
Chapter Twenty-One
Brendon
Days pass in a blur. Kaylee in workout clothes in the morning. Emma at the breakfast table, groaning about an early shift. A back piece—a tiger hiding in the bushes. Two best friends getting matching ink. A guy who says nothing, simply hands me an abstract design, and tips an extra hundred dollars in cash.
Dean reminding Ryan they're about to be on equal footing.
Ryan growling and rolling his eyes.
The quiet in the house.
My sister attempting her summer reading.
Kaylee's laugh from Emma's room.
A night out with Ryan. A quiet grunt-hey-raise our beers-nod-drink kind of night.
Another long day at work. Dad duties at dinner with Emma. With Kaylee right there, those big green eyes all contemplative and innocent.
Another night out with Dean and Walker at a too loud dance club. They take turns picking out one-night stands. And teasing me about holding out for "sweet virgin pussy."
Sunday night, I get home late. Strip out of my sweaty clothes. Scrub clean in the shower.
I step into my bedroom wrapped in a towel. Something catches my eye. A light in the hallway.
It's a flicker. Then it's gone again.
I move toward the hall. Watch Emma's doorframe. Nothing for a while. Then the light flickers over it.
It's coming from Kaylee's room.
I should ignore it.
Continue avoiding her.
Do whatever it takes to keep my fly zipped.
I don't.
I pull on boxers and jeans. Move into the hallway with soft steps.
She stirs. Her footsteps move toward the door.
"Hey," she whispers through the door. "You okay?"
No. I'm not going to be okay until she's out of my head. Until my fucking head goes back to normal—so it's filled with details of action movies, and punk songs, and tattoo mockups, and one-night stands, and every awful thing my parents ever said to me.
Until that space is mine and not hers.
"Brendon?"
"I got something for you. Give me a minute." Fuck, there's something wrong with me. Too much. I know better than to invite myself into her room in the middle of the night.
This is not how you resist temptation.
