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“You don’t ask.”
No. I must. I want them so badly. I must ask. “I do too.”
He shakes his head. “You think I won’t talk to you?”
Yes. “I don’t know.”
“I will.”
“Then tell me about Penny. About how it ended.”
“Tell me who this guy is.”
“I thought you’d talk.”
“I will.”
“That’s a fucking ultimatum, Ryan. Sharing isn’t quid pro quo.”
His eyes fill with frustration. “You talk to Dean about why you left Rock Bottom?”
“No.”
“You two laugh about how hopeless I am?”
“I DON’T THINK YOU’RE HOPELESS.”
He stares at me.
I stare back.
“Why can’t you admit it’s Dean.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“It’s not.”
“Yes. It is. I know how I feel.”
“But I don’t.”
We return to our staring contest.
His expression screws with confusion.
It’s my fault.
Of course he’s confused. He’s looking for Mr. Powers’ identity. There are only two obvious possibilities. Ryan and Dean. But Ryan is never going to see that it’s him.
I want to tell him the truth. I want to do whatever it takes to erase the hurt in his eyes.
But I can’t.
If I tell him, he’ll leave.
Maybe I can tell him the rest, but I sure as hell can’t tell him this.
Chapter 13
