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Tonight?
This silence is stupid.
He’s my favorite person in the entire world.
I take a deep breath and exhale slowly.
I’ve spent the last half a dozen years running from intimacy.
If I want more of him, I have to let him in.
Ryan turns onto Santa Monica Boulevard. The car zooms over the empty street.
Thoughts bounce around my head as Gwen fades into Kelly Clarkson.
I’m tired of keeping this to myself.
I want to show him my scars. Even if they’re ugly. Even if they scare him.
He might think less of me.
But that’s a risk I have to take.
My fingers curl into my seatbelt. “I left Rock Bottom because of my mom.”
He turns to me. “You’ve never mentioned her.”
“Because I hate her.”
“You hate a lot of people.”
“I know.”
“That shit is bad for your soul.”
“You want to hear this or not?”
r /> “Yeah.” His voice softens. “Of course.”
“I started working at restaurants in high school. For extra cash. And a way to get out of the house. I wasn’t a great student. The only class I liked was art, and everybody told me that was a good way to live in a cardboard box.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“I know that now. But then… I wanted my own money. So I wouldn’t have to ask my mom.”
He nods I get that.
“My dad’s never been in the picture. I know I told you. But maybe you forgot.”
“I remember everything you tell me.”
My stomach twists. This is confusing.
He remembers everything I tell him.
He’s jealous of some idea of me and Dean.
But he doesn’t want me.
