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I…
I want to tell him.
But, God, I can't deal with anyone else's grief or fear or concern.
I can't pretend I'm okay.
Not right now.
"You have to promise you won't freak out," I say.
"Can't make that promise, sunshine. Not until I know."
"Then promise you'll try."
He cups my cheek with his palm as he stares up at me. "Promise."
My shoulders relax. I trust him. It's terrifying, but I trust him. "I have a test tomorrow."
His brow scrunches. "What kind of test?"
I take a deep breath and exhale slowly. "A medical test. It might be bad news."
"Bad how?"
"Just bad."
Confusion streaks his expression.
He's going to make me say it.
Or maybe he doesn't see it.
For the last two years, my life has been breast cancer. But that isn't how it is for him. For anyone else. It's not on their radar.
I nod to my chest. "You didn't notice?"
"Notice what?" He follows my gaze.
I shift out of my jacket. Toss it on the ground behind me. Tug my tank top lower. Lower. Until my bra is peeking out.
But he's not getting it.
I go to pull it off but Dean stops me.
"I don't have the self-control to stop if you start."
"I don't want you to stop."
"I want to hear this."
I swallow hard. I want him to hear it.
But…
God.
"Look." I take his hand. Bring it to my chest.
