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“If I love you, I give you the power to destroy me. I’m not strong enough for that. I can’t be just another girl to you, Maddox. I need to be more; I deserve more, and I don’t think you can give that. I can’t risk us and what we are. We’re beautiful… just like this. Friends.”
I prayed Maddox woke up in the morning with no memory of what we had just done.
I’d take this secret to my grave, and I would bear this guilt on my own.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Maddox
A week later
My fingers drummed over my thighs as I waited for Lila to come down the stairs. I left her an hour ago to get dressed, and if we didn’t leave in five minutes, we were going to be late to the gala.
I was in a tuxedo, which was appropriate for the evening gala we were attending. It was an auctioning event and dinner, my parents being the guests of honor. My dad called me last night and demanded me to be present. I told him to fuck off and hung up with absolutely no intention to attend the gala. I didn’t give a fuck if this was important to him or that it was appropriate for me to be there to show my face and support to my parents.
It was Lila who convinced me.
The gala was being held in California, and she wanted to visit the beach. Lila said it was a great opportunity for a small vacation after such a long semester, and I couldn’t say no to her. I could never refuse her of anything.
So, we took a plane here. We’d go to the gala tonight, and tomorrow, I was going to teach her how to surf.
The sound of heels clicking against the hardwood brought my attention to the stairs. Lila came into view, and my breath caught in my throat.
Breathtaking.
She descended the stairs carefully, a silky black off-the-shoulder dress clinging to her slender curves and fluttering around her feet, which were adorned with glittering silver heels. It was plain and simple, yet elegant with a thigh high split. Her creamy thigh was visible through the gap as she walked toward me, a silver clutch in her hand.
Her hair was piled up on her head, in a bun, with a few curly strands of black hair fanning her cheeks. Her dreamcatcher necklace hung between the valley of her breasts, and she wore a smile that made my knees weak.
She did a slow spin. “So, how do I look?”
Her pouty red lips had my dick straining against my black slacks and I stifled a groan.
“Pretty,” I rumbled.
Lila pursed her lips, pouting. “Just pretty?”
I took a step toward her, unable to stop myself. “Gorgeous. Beautiful. Exquisite. Stunning. Lovely. Angelic. Breathtaking. Ravishing. Elegant. Bewitching. Alluring. Heavenly. The angels would bow to you because they can’t compete. So. Fucking. Exquisite.”
Her lips parted, a hitch in her breathing, and she blinked at me through her long, thick lashes that should have been unnatural but everything about Lila was natural. “You said exquisite twice,” she breathed.
My fingers skimmed over her bare arms. Her skin broke into goosebumps and a small shiver racked through her small frame. “Because you’re twice as exquisite,” I confessed, in a raspy croak.
My body burned with a sensation I knew too well, and my pants grew tight around my groin as my dick became harder in her mere presence. I didn’t even have to touch her, and I was already leaking cum at the tip.
It was lust, I told myself.
But I lusted after other women before, and whatever I felt for Lila didn’t come close to lust.
And I hated myself for feeling this way.
Just like I hated myself on that morning, a week ago. I woke up to be an empty bed, but I still felt Lila’s presence next to me. It was a dream; though, it had seemed so real, so vivid.
And my boxers had been sticky with my release. I couldn’t remember the last time I had a wet dream and spilled cum in the middle of the night like a horny teenager, but Lila… fuck, she invaded even my dreams with her sweet voice and sinful touches.
I dreamed of fucking her… my best friend. The same friend I made countless pinky swears with.
Friends?
Friends.
I destroyed the innocence of our relationship–the sweetness of our friendship. I made it into something… dirty, and it was no longer pure and no longer untouched by my forbidden desires. It was my guilt to bear for the rest of our lives.
Little did she know…
Sweet Lila, I fucked up.
Her lips curled. “Such a sweet tongue. I’m almost jealous of all the girls you’ve said those things to.”
My heart squeezed at her words. “Your jealousy is not needed because I’ve never called another woman those words.”
