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I waited and waited…and waited for Nala to find me.
It must have been a long time because my knees were starting to hurt from staying in the same position for too long.
I crawled from under my hiding spot and went to the door.
My heart froze when the door didn’t budge.
I pulled harder.
It didn’t open.
“Mommy,” I called out, but then I realized…
My parents weren’t home. Daddy said he had a business meeting, and they would be home late. They were always busy, always leaving the house in the morning before I woke up and coming home later, after I’d gone to bed. That was why Nala was here to keep me company. She was Mrs. Kanavaugh’s daughter, our maid.
I pulled at the door even harder.
It wouldn’t open.
No, no, no.
“Nala! Nala, I’m here. In the basement. Nala, come find me!”
I slapped the door, punched and kicked and screamed. My throat started to feel dry, and tears slid down my cheeks. I didn’t like crying. I had to be strong, like daddy. He never cried.
But I couldn’t… stop… the…tears…
“Daddy,” I yelled, feeling myself go cold.
Scared… I was so scared and cold. Why was I so cold? My teeth rattled, and I shivered, feeling more tears slide down my cheeks. My face was wet as I cried more.
I didn’t like this.
Why couldn’t I open the door?
Why? Why?
I pulled and pulled, but the door was too heavy for me, and it wouldn’t open.
“Mommy, please! Mommy! Daddy!” I screamed.
Why couldn’t anyone hear me?
Maybe… maybe… they’d eventually realize I was missing, and they’d come find me later. Mommy knew of this hiding spot; she’d know where to find me.
I sank to the ground, bringing my knees to my chest.
Mommy and Daddy would find me, I knew they would.
“When they come home, they’ll search for me,” I murmured.
I had to be strong. Strong like Ironman. I had to be strong like Daddy.
I didn’t know when I had fallen asleep or for how long, but when I opened my eyes again, it was dark.
So dark, I couldn’t see anything.
The lights, what happened to them?
Oh no.
I couldn’t see…
I couldn’t breathe…
“Mommy!” I scrambled up, searching for an escape.
I punched the door, but my hands were too small, and they started hurting.
But I didn’t stop.
I punched and screamed louder. “Mommy! I’m here. Daddy!”
It was so dark. I didn’t like it; I didn’t like the darkness. I never did. It scared me, that was why mommy always left my night light on.
“Help! Help me! I’m in the closet… help… me…”
I couldn’t breathe…
I couldn’t breathe….
“I can’t… help…. I can’t… breathe… mommy…”
My heart was beating too fast.
I couldn’t see anything.
It was dark, so so dark.
My body shuddered, and I stumbled on the floor, next to the door, still scratching and punching.
“Can’t… breathe… daddy… please… please… come find… me! Please…”
I cried.
I didn’t want to; I had to be strong, but I couldn’t stop.
I cried harder.
“I’m… scared…”
My hand went numb until I couldn’t feel it anymore. “Don’t… leave me here… mommy. Help,” I whispered when I could no longer scream.
Everything hurt.
My head. My throat. My hand. My body.
Everything.
And it was so dark. There was a monster in the dark, like in the movies. I could feel it watching me, and my skin crawled.
The monster kept watching me; I couldn’t see it, but it was there.
I still couldn’t breathe.
“Help…”
Mommy and Daddy had promised they’d always find me wherever I hid. They said they could feel me because I was their baby, and they’d always know where I was.
They… lied.
They didn’t find me.
“Don’t… leave… me alone,” I begged, but I could barely hear the words.
“Please.”
My body swayed sideways, and I fell to the ground, my head touching the cold tiles of the closet. I curled into a small ball, trying to chase the cold away.
Come find me, mommy.
Don’t leave me, daddy.
“Please… I’ll be… a good boy. I… will… never ask… for another toy… or chocolate. I will…never cry again… I promise. I promise… I will… be good, a good boy… promise, mommy. Please, daddy… please…”
They lied.
They didn’t find me.
“Help me.”
They left me with the monster in the dark.
“Please.”
They forgot me.
“Mommy… daddy…”
I jerked awake, gasping and breathless. My body was so cold; I was numb and shaking like a fucking leaf during a storm. The bedsheet was soaked with my sweat, and I swallowed past the heavy lump in my throat.
It was just a nightmare.
Lies.
How could it be just a nightmare if it followed me when I was awake?
My heart pounded in my chest, and there was dull pain.
The world spun, and I wanted to vomit as my stomach churned with nausea. The pain in my head flashed hard and heavy.
Breathe. Fucking breathe. Goddamn it.
Slamming my fist into the mattress, I let out a snarl. Hate. Anger. Self-loathing. Pain, so much fucking pain clashed together, and my head swam with all the emotions. Fuck this, FUCK!
