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I ducked my head, hiding behind the curtain of my hair. “Sometimes, I forget what it is to feel okay, to feel normal because I’m filled with… so many unspoken emotions.”

Maddox was silent, and I wondered what he was thinking about. Did he pity me? Could he feel my shame? I didn’t want to be pitied, though… for the first time since my parents died, I just wanted to be held.

I’d been pushing the people who cared about me away: my grandparents and Riley. They tried, but I always shut them down because I hated being pitied, I hated the sympathetic look on their faces. When Gran suggested therapy, I refused to see any shrink. Talking about my feelings to a stranger? Letting them see me at my weakest? No way.

Realization dawned on me, and I choked back a sob. By pushing them away, I was causing myself more pain. I needed someone to talk to.

I needed to be held.

I needed to cry and have someone tell me it was going to be okay.

Sniffling back a cry, I dabbed my tears away. Maddox was here, and it was ironic because of how much I despised him when we first met.

“Do you know why I hated you so much before?”

He let out a dry laugh, without any humor. “Because I was an asshole?”

If only he knew the truth…

Maybe it was time.

I took a deep breath and let it out. “No, I despised you, hated the mere idea of you, because you reminded me of my parents’ murderer.”

His head snapped up, and I could almost hear his heart beat rattling through his chest.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

There was a moment of silence, his lips parting as if to speak, but he couldn’t say a word. His eyes bore into me, searching, and I saw matching pain in his. My words hung heavily between us, and we both bled from the invisible gunshot, a festering open wound.

I swallowed past the heavy lump in my throat, my whole body shaking with tremors. “We wouldn’t have gotten into an accident if we hadn’t been hit by a drunk driver that night.”

Four years had gone by, and I was still haunted by the memory.

“He was seventeen and very drunk, way above the limit, especially for someone underage. The road was slightly icy, so he lost control of his vehicle. Our cars were travelling the opposite direction, and he hit us from the front. I still remember the bright headlights flashing in front of me as his car crashed into ours.”

“He–”

“He should have been jailed for a long time. He should have been punished, right? Maddox, right?”

He nodded, his eyes red. Don’t give me such a tortured look, Maddox. My heart is already breaking.

“He didn’t,” I said, hugging myself tighter. “He didn’t even spend a night in a cell; he wasn’t punished, and he walked away from the accident, unscathed. Do you know why?”

“Why?” Maddox whispered, but he already knew the answer.

“He was the rich and spoiled son of a wealthy and influential attorney who had the whole world at his feet. His dad swept the accident under the rug and was able to get his son out of trouble. I was in a coma for a few weeks, and when I woke up… I found out the case was closed and had been filed away. We were told the chauffeur took the blame and had been pardoned by the law; except, he wasn’t the one driving that night… that boy was. I know because I did my research after I woke up. My grandparents helped, and we tried to open the case again.”

“Lila,” Maddox breathed. His head fell into his hands. “Goddamn it.”

“I was in the hospital still recovering from my injuries when the dad walked through the door. The look on his face, God, I can still see it so clearly. There was no remorse, Maddox. Nothing. He didn’t care that I just lost my parents because of his son. He didn’t care that I was practically crippled in a hospital bed, in pain, in so much fucking pain. He took out a check…”

“No,” Maddox let out a curse. “Fuck, no. Lila, no.” He banged his fists against the wet, muddy grass.

I laughed and laughed, dry and empty and cold. Yes. He offered me one million dollars to stay silent. He said he’d give me more if I’d just shut up and leave his family alone.”

Then I cried.

And cried… and cried.

“We… lost…the… case,” I hiccupped back a sob, but I was only choking on my own saliva. “Money and power and too many connections, he had everything, and we stood no chance against him.”

“He paid off the judge?” Maddox growled, his words laced with anger.

“I assumed he did or he didn’t have to. They were buddies.”

I tried to breathe, tried to stay alive, forced myself to survive. Inhale, exhale.

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