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I wondered how it was possible for something to look so serene when the world around me was crashing down—a clear contradiction to my situation.

“Clean up and then I’ll bring you down to the maids. Clothes will be brought to you.” Nikolay’s voice broke through my thoughts. I turned around to see him standing at the doorway. His arms were crossed over his chest, his muscles bulging.

I swallowed hard against the lump growing in my throat. When I nodded, he stepped back and closed the door.

I sighed in relief when his intense presence was no longer overwhelming the room. I looked around and saw the bed, which took up half the space in the room. A nightstand sat on either side of the bed, a matching wardrobe to my left. In front of the bed was a bench with two pillows on either end, much like in Alessio’s room.

I walked over to the bed and sat on it, bouncing a little. The silky comforter was soft under my hands and all I wanted to do was sleep.

My body felt feeble and tiredness clouded my vision. When I yawned, I slowly stretched out on the bed, then snuggled deeper into the soft mattress and comforter until my body went limp. Feeling warm and cozy, my eyes slowly drifted shut.

Just for a few minutes, I thought.

***

I woke up with a start when the door banged open. It slammed against the wall hard, and I jumped off the bed, shaking violently. Swaying to the side slightly, my body felt sluggish.

My eyes were blurry with sleep, and I had to blink a few times to get myself accustomed to the lights. When I could finally see, I gulped hard. Nikolay was standing there, looking dangerously angry.

“You were supposed to get clean,” he said through gritted teeth. Nikolay walked inside the room, his steps hard against the wood. “Listen, Boss gives orders and you follow them. Without any problems. Got it?”

I nodded only because I couldn’t bring myself to form any words.

Nikolay scared me. He looked like someone who didn’t take any nonsense from anyone. Most importantly, he was also a killer. If I wasn’t wrong, a brutal one at that. Everyone was a killer here. There was no innocence in this life.

Without any other words, he pointed to the door at my left. I walked toward it nervously, my body hyperaware of his presence.

I opened the white door, and at the sight of a bathtub, shower, shampoo, and soaps, I felt tears prickling my eyes. When I ran away from home, I thought that I would be living on the streets, trying to fend for myself, desperate for basic necessities.

But I stood in front of a fabulous bathroom, I had a big bedroom with a cozy bed. I had a job and food. Even though it was not my ideal situation, gratefulness filled my body.

As I closed the door behind me, I noticed there were no female accessories. I shrugged and whispered, “Cleaning is all that matters.”

I glanced at the mirror and my eyes widened in shock.

I was dirty. Grimy. My face was red with bruises and some parts were already green. My white dress was filthy and shredded. All I wanted to do was soak in the tub but I could only take a quick shower.

I winced as I quickly removed my dress. I looked back at the mirror and noticed scratches on my arms.

I looked horrible. Was I really standing in front of Alessio, looking like this? Why wasn’t he disgusted? Most importantly, why did he even keep me? I was frightened just by looking at my reflection in the mirror.

Shaking my head, I stepped into the shower. The moment the warm water hit me, sliding down my bare body, warming the numbness, I felt my tense muscles loosening. At first my bruises itched and were aching under the warm water, but after a few minutes, all I felt was warmth.

I sucked in a deep breath as my body went limp. Lifting my face up into the spray, I let the water cascade around me. A feeling of happiness consumed me as I reached up, squeezed out some shampoo in my palm and started to massage it through my dirty hair.

I let the water sluice through my hair. Brown water, leaves, and small twigs swirled through the drain. When the water finally ran clear, I started to wash my body. After I was done, I stayed under the water for a few more minutes, letting the heat penetrate my body.

I stepped out of the shower on wobbling legs, and when the cool air hit my body, I shivered. Grabbing a towel from a nearby rack, I started to dry my hair and then my body. I wrapped the towel around me and went to stand in front of the mirror.

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