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Shrugging, I looked away, avoiding eye contact with her. This was my secret. I couldn’t tell her. It sounded pathetic even in my head. I could only imagine how bad it would sound to Maddie.
“Okay,” she said. I was thankful that she didn’t push. “Thank you for telling me.” She squeezed my hand in a comforting manner.
I nodded mutely.
“Ayla, you can always talk to me. I’m here for you. So, whenever you are ready, I will be waiting. I’m not going to push. This is your choice. But know that I am here for you. Not only me, but Mom and Alessio too. And everyone else.” Maddie leaned forward and placed a kiss on my forehead. “There is always light at the end of the dark tunnel,” she whispered before pulling back. Her words took my breath away and the tears stung the back of my eyes again.
“Maddie.” I sniffled.
“Shhh, I’m here,” she said, wrapping her arms around me. I buried my head in her shoulders and cried. I cried for the years of pain that were bestowed upon me. I cried for the painful life that I had to live. I cried at my hopelessness.
And I cried for the kindness that was being shown to me. They were supposed to be my enemies but instead they had showed me more goodness than I had ever seen in my entire life.
“Thank you,” I choked as Maddie rubbed my back soothingly.
“It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. You are going to be okay,” she whispered, her voice soft and filled with compassion.
I didn’t know how much time passed. But by the time my tears had dried, I felt completely drained. But lighter. My heart didn’t hurt as bad and I could breathe better. More calm.
Pulling away from Maddie, I wiped away my tears as she gave me a small encouraging smile.
“You must be hungry,” she said, changing the topic. I was grateful for her understanding. I nodded and placed my palm over my stomach.
“A little,” I replied.
“Okay. Sit tight. I will bring you your breakfast.”
“Wait,” I called when she was near the door. Maddie stopped and faced me again.
Biting on my lips nervously, I push the few strands of hair away from my face. “Where is Lena?” I asked, finally voicing the question that I had been dreading to ask.
Maddie lost her smile. “Mom is downstairs. When I go down, I will let her know you are awake. She will come up so fast that you will not have time to blink.”
“Is she angry?” I knew I disappointed and hurt them with my actions. But I didn’t want Lena to be angry at me.
Maddie quickly shook her head, her eyes going wide at my question. “No,” she gasped. “Never. Ayla, Mom was so worried. She will be happy that you are awake. She can never be mad at you.”
“Okay,” I replied, my heart settling in a steady pace again.
Maddie gave me another smile and then winked. “I will be right back.”
“Okay.”
Chapter 35
I avoided looking near the tub as I turned off the light and walked out of the bathroom. It was spotless clean but I didn’t want the memories to come back.
Walking over to my bed, I sat down on the edge. The sun was setting and it cast a light orange glow into the room, filling it with serenity.
Even though I had spent most of the day sleeping, I still felt tired. After Maddie had brought me breakfast, Lena had come up. The look on her face had broken my heart. She scolded me. She cried. We cried together.
And afterwards, she pulled me down on the bed and her sweet singing voice had lulled me to sleep. Her hands were patting my hair comfortingly and as I fell asleep, a small smile had stretched across my lips.
Maybe Alessio was right.
Maybe I was loved. I desperately wanted to believe it.
A knock at the door snapped me out of my thoughts. “Yes?” I called out, glancing toward it.
The door slowly opened and I gaped when I saw Nikolay walking in.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, his tone impassive as always.
“Okay…”
What was he doing here?
“Are you really?” He cocked his head to the side in question as he stared at me expectantly. I placed my hands on the bed and absently traced patterns on it. His presence made the room look smaller and his dark intense stare caused a shiver to run down my spine.
“I’m…feeling better,” I corrected myself. He nodded and kept his eyes on me. Nikolay looked thoughtful for a second before he walked forward and came to a stop in front of me.
Droplets of sweat trickled down my back as my nervousness grew. Why was he here? Did he come to taunt me? The thought made me cringe.
We stared at each other in silence and then he moved. Keeping his eyes on me, he took off his suit jacket and laid it on the chair beside him. My eyes widened when I saw him starting to unbutton his white dress shirt.
