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Alessio made a strangling sound. He brought his hand up his face and placed it over mine. I looked at his stunning face, my heart thumping at how beautiful he was, even when he looked so tired and forlorn.
“I get why you did it,” I continued. “I get why you thought I was the spy. It makes sense, so I don’t blame for you not trusting me before. These last two days, I kept thinking if it were possible that whatever we had was a lie. I was and still am scared.”
Rubbing my fingers over his lips and then tracing his nose, my fingers continued their way up under his eyes. “I can forgive you for that.”
I paused and then swallowed hard before uttering the next words. “But I don’t think I can forgive you so easily for what happened with Sasha.”
Alessio opened his mouth, but I shushed him again. “Even if you didn’t have sex with her, you still touched her.” I choked on the last words.
The thought of Alessio touching another woman was gut-wrenching. I might have been lying too. I was keeping a big secret from Alessio, I was just as guilty, but I couldn’t accept the fact that Alessio had touched another woman.
“The thought of you touching another woman—the thought of you being with someone else so easily, it’s painful, Alessio. I don’t think I’ll get over that soon. I might forgive you for the rest, but it’ll take me time to forgive you for touching Sasha.”
“Ayla,” he whispered brokenly, his eyes filled with guilt. “I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t know the whole story. The only thing I know is that you touched her. I have my reasons why I don’t want you to explain,” I murmured, my fingers brushed over his eyebrows, my whole body tingling like it always did when I was touching him.
“Because if you explain now, I will doubt you and your intentions. My judgments will be clouded by my anger and hurt. And I don’t want to ever doubt you.”
I cupped his jaw again, and he leaned into my palm, nuzzling into my touch. I felt my heart crack and then slowly piece together at the show of affection.
Leaning forward, I placed a sweet kiss on the tip of his nose. I felt Alessio sighing almost contentedly.
“I have thought about this for so long. You have showed me so many times that you care, Alessio. You helped me, stood by me, and made me strong. You never gave up on me and never left me in the darkness, even when I was so stupidly stubborn. When I think about everything we’ve been through and everything you have done for me, I think I can forgive you. I will eventually forgive you.”
“And that’s all I need. I just need your forgiveness, Ayla.” The words were spoken low and almost fiercely.
Giving him a tentative smile, I continued. “When it’s time for you to explain, I want to be ready to believe you. And for that I just need some time to get over this anger and stupid hurt that’s filling my heart right now.”
“How much time? How long do you need, Ayla?” he asked, his eyes wide with caution, layers of desperation clouding his expression.
“Just a few days. That’s all I’m asking.”
After those words were spoken, we fell silent. I leaned my forehead against his, and we breathed. My hands went to the back of his neck, my nails softly dragging up and down the skin, just the way I knew he loved. He slowly started to relax, his tensed muscles loosening under my touch.
“Being away from you hurts, Ayla. It’s painful.”
My eyes snapped open at his words, and I quickly blinked away my unshed tears. “I’m sorry.”
“But I don’t want you to be sorry,” he interrupted quickly. “You have every right to be angry and hurt. I fucked up bad. This mess we are in right now is my fault. So I understand. If I saw another man touching you, I would probably kill him without a second thought.”
At his words, I remembered the scene that took place yesterday, when Viktor had kissed me. Alessio had snapped and went ballistic at the sight of Viktor touching me.
“So I don’t blame you, Ayla,” he said. “I’ll give you however much time you want. Just please don’t take too long. I don’t think I can wait for a long time.”
Alessio paused before confessing softly, his next words taking my breath away. “I need you.”
I need you too, I wanted to say.
“Okay,” I agreed before placing my head on his shoulder again. Alessio wrapped his arms around me, holding me close.
“Where will you sleep?” he suddenly broke the silence that we were both basking in.
“In my room. I don’t think I can sleep in our room without touching you. I can’t bear having any kind of distance between us,” I replied dejectedly, hating the thought of sleeping without him.
