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I fucked up. I knew that.
I had to make a choice, and I chose what I felt was right. She was my only choice. When it came down to who lived and who died, Valerie was my only option. The heart failed to see anything else.
Valerie was right. Irina deserved to live; she deserved a happy ending. She deserved so much more.
But…
Fate was cruel.
Time was bloodthirsty.
Death was vicious.
It needed blood. It needed a soul to take.
And I was just a mere man, who was powerless against the greater entity.
I huffed back a cold laugh. Weak.
“I have lost so much. Again and again. It never ends. It’s a continuous circle. When will it end, Viktor? Tell me. When will it end…when will I stop losing those I love?”
My chest felt like it was wrapped in barbed wire. I held her tighter in my arms as we left the plane. She was still sleeping, but once the cold morning air hit her, her eyes fluttered open. Valerie looked lost for a moment, her eyes unfocused. She blinked a few times before her gaze finally landed on mine.
“Where are we?” Her voice was small and croaky.
“Home,” I said, choking on the word.
“You can put me down.” Her little whispers were breaking my heart. Valerie slid down the length of my body as I placed her on her feet. She was unsteady for a second before finding her footing.
“Are you okay?” I asked, lacing my fingers through hers. She nodded silently. Valerie glanced at her surroundings, taking in all the security men and the waiting car.
“I don’t understand…” She paused, clearing her throat. She winced a little before speaking again. “I didn’t have a passport. How—”
“It was already taken care of,” I cut in. “I know people, Valerie.”
When you had money and contacts with wealthy people, those in higher positions, a lot of things could be done with a snap of a finger.
Valerie nodded again, her eyes void of any emotions. “I am stupid. I should have known. Considering who you are.” Her voice was calm…dead.
I gripped her hand tighter. “You are not stupid. Don’t say that.”
“This way, sir.”
Valerie looked down, avoiding everyone now. I turned to the new voice and nodded at the man in charge of security here, said my thank yous, and then got in the waiting car with Valerie.
She was eerily silent, staring out the windows as the car started rolling.
Our freedom had come with a price. The thought twisted my heart, and I fought the urge to retch. I swallowed back the bitter bile while staring down at our entwined hands. Valerie hadn’t pulled away from me. Not yet.
Rubbing my thumb over her soft knuckles, I watched her impassive face. She wasn’t crying anymore, but I almost wished she’d cry. Instead of this look full of emptiness. Emotionless. So lost. Maybe if she’d scream…hit me…hate me…
At least, she’d be feeling something. Since her break down in the plane, Valerie had been silent, less talkative. Now, she was closed off, almost unapproachable. Breathing yet not really here anymore.
I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the seat. I wished I could turn back time, return to the past. And maybe save us from this misery.
Maybe…just maybe, I could have saved them all.
Maybe…just maybe, I could have given us all a happy ending.
The feeling of helplessness bore down on my chest. This was what failure felt like. A desolated soul. A happy ending built on the wreckage of our hearts.
You promised.
Irina’s voice haunted me, whispering in my ears.
You promised, Viktor. Please. Go.
FUCK!
My eyes snapped open, and I sat forward, my chest heaving with each breath. I could see Irina’s face so vividly in my head. Her tear-stained face. Her weak body, kneeling on the floor.
I saw Erik, his face determined. Saw his back, saw him running into the estate as it exploded from all around. He had always been a savior, a man with a hidden soft heart. A weakness for any helpless woman. In his last minute to live, he was there…playing the role of savior once again. Why? Why, damn it? He ran in there, knowing full well what could happen. He invited death with open arms and now…
Fuck. I smacked the side of my head, wishing all these memories would fade away.
But they haunted me. They mocked me. My gut clenched, and I released a shaking breath. It was my burden to carry.
I turned my head to the side and saw that Valerie had fallen asleep once again. Her body was curled against the door, her legs tucked beneath her. We were still holding hands, our fingers still laced together.
The rest of the car ride, I watched her. Her brows were pulled down in a frown, her expression pained even in her sleep. I soothed out the lines and caressed her cheeks, feeling her softness under my fingertips.
