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“I don’t want to lie to you, Valerie. But I also don’t want you to know the truth,” I said slowly. It was difficult to admit. I watched my woman bleed at my words, and it hurt.
“So, Valentin still has her?” she choked past the emotions.
I nodded in response, refusing to give her any more information.
When she went to ask more questions, I laid a finger on her lips and stopped her. “Don’t ask any more because my answers will only hurt you. But trust me when I say, I will make sure you see Irina once again.”
Her chin wobbled and her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “Okay,” she said so softly I almost missed it. My sweet myshka. Her heart was tender, and I wanted to protect it, protect her, at any cost. Even from myself, sometimes. For I was also a monster.
I took her lips in a slow kiss. It was a craving that would never pass. Valerie breathed into our kiss. She was my silent prayer and my vow of devotion. Pulling away, I gave her a final look before walking away.
It was time for me to take care of other things. Valerie was safe in her room, and that was the only good thing that mattered right now.
Yegor met me in the halls, and we both walked down the stairs. “Listen to me. And listen to me carefully,” I growled at him. Valerie was turning me into an animal. “While I am gone, Valerie is in your care.”
“I know.” He nodded, but I was already cutting him off.
“Don’t you fucking touch her. You look, you watch, you protect. Think of her as your motherfucking Queen and you are her soldier. Got it?”
Yegor paused and then scoffed, looking quite offended I would even say that. “Not interested, Viktor.”
My sweet Valerie would drive me mad one day. She’d make me fight my own man for her, and I was even fucking jealous that I had to leave her in Yegor’s care. Even if it was only for a few days.
“She ain’t my type. That I can assure you. I like myself some chocolate mocha,” he continued. We resumed walking, and I could feel my shoulders relaxing the tiniest bit.
“Ah. Some chocolate-covered peaches. Gotcha,” I said, throwing a smirk his way.
He laughed and then winked. “The darker, the better the flavor. Bitter, but so fucking sweet after.” I could tell Yegor’s mouth was practically watering at the image he had conjured in his head.
Walking out into the cold dark night, I found a car already waiting for me. “You know what you have to do,” I said before getting in the car. I gave Yegor a look that said everything. He understood and he nodded. We were both on the same page. Good.
I got in the car and watched the estate grow smaller as we drove away.
It was time to see my family.
At the thought, my stomach dropped and I closed my eyes, leaning back against the seat. I didn’t want to face the reality. I was here, doing my job, playing my game—yet on the other side…
The devil made his appearance again. He mocked me. He laughed. Little shit.
***
Home sweet home, I thought as I faced the Ivanshov state. My feet were rooted on the spot and my legs didn’t seem to work. I couldn’t bring myself to step forward.
It was time to face my nightmare.
My heart pounded, and all kinds of thoughts started to flood my mind.
Alessio was going to kill me. Plain and simple. I wouldn’t make it out alive this time. The last time he shot me, he purposely missed my heart. He didn’t want me dead. But this time…oh this time, he would gut me and pull out my intestines and shove them back into my ass.
It wasn’t that I was scared of Alessio.
No, I was scared of facing Ayla. Scared of seeing her in pain and broken. Scared because I knew I would have been the cause of it.
My lungs started to burn, and I realized that I wasn’t breathing. I inhaled and then exhaled.
For weeks, I tried not to think of Ayla or Alessio. I tried to forget they might be mourning right now. I refused to think of the incident. It was better that way, but now…I couldn’t escape. Fuck, there really wasn’t any escape.
I was in Alessio’s territory now. He knew I was here. He was waiting.
One step forward, another step, one more. I continued like that until I was standing inside. My fists clenched at my sides and my stomach tightened, a sick feeling taking over me.
I walked further inside, and with each step, I found it harder to breathe.
Would I ever be able to forgive myself? Would Ayla? And Alessio?
I saw Maddie coming out of the kitchen. She halted at the sight of me. There was a ball up my throat, and I found it hard to swallow. She moved toward me slowly, an eyebrow raised.
