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Thump. Beat. Thump. Beat.
My teeth clattered louder, and I clenched my jaw. Viktor came closer, until he was standing so close, his warmth started to seep into my pores.
My body wasn’t my own and there was pull. An undeniable, invisible pull between us.
Viktor wrapped his arms around my hips, and I fell into his embrace.
Warmth.
Safe.
Home.
My love.
He was everything I needed right now.
I sank into him, folding myself into his arms and wishing I could burrow under his bones and hide into his soul. We could hide there, and it could be our beautiful happy ending.
I savored his warmth, and I inhaled his spicy, minty scent. There was a heavy smell of alcohol, but I ignored it. Instead, I continued to breathe him in, inhaling a scent that only belonged to my Viktor.
He smelled of me. He smelled of home.
He smelled of heaven, and I closed my eyes.
My soldier. My fallen warrior.
My guardian Angel.
My lover.
And the only person who had ever held my heart in the palms of his hands.
Tears spilled down my cheeks, and I let out an ugly sob. My fingers dug into his chest, my nails clawing at his skin. I cried, sobbing for us.
Beneath the pain, there was a crippling fear inside me. It loomed over me, riddling my heart with darkness and stabbing me.
I shuddered and held onto Viktor tighter.
“Don’t…leave…”
It was a choke sound coming from my parched throat.
Viktor’s arm tightened around my hips and then I was being lifted into his arms, bridal style. He carried us to the bathroom and settled me over the edge of the tub. When he pulled away, my heart slammed into my ribcage.
Panic overwhelmed me, and I lurched forward, trying to reach for him, to hold him and to never let go. My legs gave out underneath me, and I fell to ground.
Weak. Weak. So weak.
Viktor lifted me into his arms again, and this time, he sat down with me on his lap. My hands shook as I brought them up to his face, making him look at me.
He was so silent…far away, away from me.
It scared me.
The fear intensified, and my face crumpled up as I started sobbing once again. My chest heaved with each ugly cry.
“Don’t…leave…”
Don’t leave me.
Don’t hate me.
Viktor stayed silent, his lips not moving. He didn’t give me his words, and I was left feeling as if I had just lost something more important than my life itself.
My strength.
Him.
My Viktor.
Was this it? Would he walk away now? Leaving me behind?
My bruised, bleeding lips parted, and I almost begged.
Begged him to stay. Begged him to love me.
Before I could stay the words, Viktor was moving. With me still on his lap, he reached forward and opened the tap. The tub started to fill with warm water, and I couldn’t look away, watching the water rise and feeling my heart beat against my ribcage, like a violent storm.
Viktor never let me go, his hold on me tight and unyielding. He kept me close to his body, my head on his chest.
He also didn’t speak. His lack of words cut me sharply, hurting me more than Valentin’s touch. I fought back the tears threatening to spill once again.
Swallowing back my cries, I stayed silent too.
Don’t leave me.
Don’t hate me.
Please.
Once the tub was filled, he started to lower my naked body into the water. My muscles ached and protested with the movement, but I forced myself to relax into the warmth. Viktor’s gaze whispered over my face before moving lower, resting over my chest. My nipple was on fire where Valentin had bit me. My lips were throbbing too. My whole body was in pain, pulsing and aching.
I fought the urge to hide, to cover my shame. My breathing turned into hiccups panting, and I wrapped my arms around me, trying to shield my nakedness.
Viktor was the last person I wanted to see me like this.
The last person to witness my husband defile me.
Yet, here he was.
He witnessed it all, and he was still here…going through the aftermath with me.
Viktor started to move, but my arms latched onto him. My eyes met his, and I begged him silently.
Don’t leave me.
Don’t hate me.
Please. Please. Please. Plea—
“I need—” he started but then paused. He clenched his jaw shut and his eyes grew darker, pained. It appeared as if he were clearing this throat, trying to find his voice once again.
I watched his lips when he finally spoke. “I just need to get the soap.”
He nodded toward the end of the tub, but I refused to let go of his arm. Viktor didn’t pull away. No, he stayed where he was and only reached forward to grab what he needed.
I felt my mouth move, felt the words on my lips when I spoke. I wasn’t sure if he heard me but I tried again, louder…needing him to hear me.
