But sometimes, when you know, you know. And I knew Josie was it for me, even if I wasn’t it for her.
I finished the remnants of my second beer when a frustrated groan and a loud whack broke the quiet summer silence. I looked around, not finding anything out of place. It could’ve just been one of the ranch hands screwing off. Bishop told me they liked to light a bonfire on the weekends sometimes to blow off steam.
But then it happened again, and this time, it was distinct. I heard the pain and heartbreak and frustration boil over into one angry scream before the sound of splitting wood followed.
Josie.
I didn’t think before I moved, jumping down and racing across the dirt road to the large shed off the corner of the barn. The light above the shed was dim, flickering in and out like lightning bugs in June. Her face was cast in shadow, and I couldn’t read her expression. She stood there, staring down at the half-cracked log like it’d done something to personally offend her before pulling the axe out and swinging it down again.
This time, it split, falling to the side. Josie kicked it over and reached for another log, this one thicker than the last. She adjusted her hands, wringing them against the worn handle before bringing it down with a harrowing cry.
“Stupid piece of shit,” she mumbled, wiping at her nose. “What good are you if you can’t even do your fucking job?”
I told myself she didn’t need some cowboy riding in to save the day, but there were only a few times in my life I’d heard someone in that level of pain, and none of them had been good.
Maybe I would’ve stayed away, content to watch from the sidelines and remain in the shadows, if she hadn’t dropped the weapon at her side and crumbled to her knees.
Fuck this.
I took off at a jog, startling her as I slid to a stop beside her. “Josie, baby, what’s wrong? What happened?” Her big grey eyeswere wide and puffy, staring through me like she wasn’t seeing me. She hiccuped as tear tracks ran down her cheeks like rivers. “Are you okay?”
Josie blinked slowly, and I saw the moment the world around her came back into focus, and her demeanor shifted. She wiped at her nose again, the sleeve of her t-shirt coming away wet. “I’m fine,” she bit out. “Show’s over. You can go home now.”
I leaned back on my haunches, giving her only a taste of the space she thought she wanted. “I’m not going anywhere, darlin’. Not until you tell me what happened.” I moved instinctually, reaching out and tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Are you okay?” I repeated the question, knowing it was dumb but asking anyway.
She laughed, but the sound was bitter. “Why do you even care, Lincoln?” Her hands dropped to her lap. “I don’t deserve your kindness. I left you without so much as a goodbye. What kind of person does that?”
I had to control my temper, knowing it wouldn’t do her a damn bit of good if I let it show. Not that it was aimed at her. No, it was aimed at whatever piece of shit had made her question her worth.
“Don’t start that shit, Josie. Not right now. Not when I can tell you’ve had a rough day. I don’t need a motive to make sure you’re okay, and whoever the person is that made you think that deserves their fucking ass beat.”
Josie blew out a long breath. “Well, it’s a long list. I don’t think you’ll have enough time to get through it before you pack it up for Tennessee.” There was a note of bitterness as she spat the word.
I wanted to tell her I didn’t want to go back, that I’d give it up for her right here and now, but she didn’t need me to come in with that. She needed a friend—a shoulder to cry on—and I’d be whatever she needed me to be.
“Tell me something… Why’re you so dead set on keeping me at arm’s length? I’m trying to be your friend. I sure as hell don’t see anyone else here.” Regret coursed through my veins the moment the words left my tongue. I wanted to take them back. I’d never been good with my words and hadn’t ever needed to be.
“I don’t have many friends,” she whispered, toying with the hem of her shirt. “Not unless you count my family, but I don’t think they count, do you? Because family is obligated to be there for one another.” Her gaze flicked down to her hands. “People don’t stay around for me often unless there’s something in it for them. Every friend I’ve made, every boyfriend I’ve been with, they’ve only seen me as a bargaining chip—for money, for success, for my dad’s fucking autograph. You name it.” Her voice broke, and a new tear fell. “That’s what I’m worth. Fuck all.”
It was a sucker punch to my fucking gut. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak, couldn’t do a goddamn thing but stare at Josie with parted lips. The worst part was how I could tell she believed every word she said. To her, it was a fact—a way of life. There wasn’t a thing I could say that would change her mind.
Not tonight, at least.
No, the only way to make Josie Hayes believe she’s worth more than the land we stood on was to show up for her every day.
But she’d taken my silence as confirmation. “See? You can’t even deny it.”
I shook my head, inching closer until my knees brushed her own. “Baby, I’d tell you you were wrong every day if you’d let me, but that isn’t what you need. You don’t need me to convince you of your worth. You’ve got to do that shit yourself.”
“I can’t?—”
“You can.” This time, I reached out and took her hand. She watched me, chest heaving, as I intertwined our fingers. I held my breath, counting the seconds and wondering if she’d pull away. She didn’t. “You can’t base your own value on the words and actions of others because there are some shitty people in this world who’ll take advantage of that. They’ll put you down to makethemselves feel in control and step on you to get what they want. You’ve got to remember that at the end of the day, you’re the one who gives them that power.”
Josie launched herself at me, settling between my knees as she hugged my neck. With each ragged exhale, I could smell the whiskey on her breath and only held her tighter.
“Break, Josie,” I whispered, running my hand along her back in slow circles. She shook her head, refusing to let herself cry. Her body was rigid, holding tension in every muscle. “I’ve got you, darlin’. Go ahead and break so you can put yourself back together.”
“I don’t know how.”
