That was over a hundred sun jumps away. “How did you end up here?”
“Some monks travel to other monasteries as part of their spiritual journey. The people living here soothed my soul so I stayed.”
“That’s lovely,” Shyla said, trying not to grit her teeth. When they’d left the cavern, she rounded on Hanif. “Why didn’t you tell me monks can travel?”
“You didn’t ask.”
Her fingers curled with the desire to strangle her father. “You knew one of the reasons I didn’t want to become a monk was because I wished to visit the other cities of Koraha.”
“You had many reasons, Shyla. A person who takes the oath must be completely at peace with their decision.”
“But how is a person to make an informed decision when vital information is being kept from them?” She held up a hand. “And don’t say they needed to have faith.”
Hanif stopped and faced her. “You decided you weren’t staying when you were ten circuits old. From that point on, you turned a blind eye to everything going on around you.”
She opened her mouth to argue, but no words escaped her lips. He had a point.
“You had faith when it was needed, Shyla,” Hanif said in a softer tone. “Besides, you wouldn’t have been happy as a monk.”
“No, but I missed all of you.” It had been a lonely and difficult two circuits.
He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “That was the point. You needed to be on your own to figure out what you truly desired.”
She leaned into him for a moment, taking comfort from his steady presence, drinking in the knowledge that she was no longer on her own. However, along with her newfound family, she also had accepted a great deal of responsibility. A bone-deep fatigue pulsed, reminding her of Orla’s good advice not to wear herself out, which she’d promptly ignored.
“I don’t have the energy to return to our hideout. Can I stay a little longer?” she asked.
“Of course, you’re always welcome here.” Hanif released her, then added with a glint in his eyes, “But not when you have guards or deacons chasing you.”
“When? Thanks for the confidence.”
“Anytime.”
Shyla and Rendor headed back to her room. By the time they arrived, her legs had turned into mush. After kicking off her boots, she just about crawled under the fur. Rendor hesitated, glancing at the door.
She skootched over and patted the cushion. “You look as exhausted as I feel.”
He gave her a tired smile and joined her. Resting her head on his shoulder, she draped an arm over his broad chest. They hadn’t had any time alone since moving to the new headquarters. Too bad they were both exhausted.
“I’m glad you didn’t become a monk,” Rendor said, tucking her closer.
“You do know that celibacy is not part of the oath, right?” she teased, then sobered. It was another fact about life in the monastery she’d only recently learned. A blind eye indeed.
“Oh yes. I got that when I noticed the resemblance between you and Hanif. And…”
She waited, but he remained quiet. Because Rendor was observant and smart, she could finish his sentence. “And between me and Kaveri.”
“Yes. It was striking.” A pause. “Do you plan on acknowledging the relationship?”
“No. Not unless she does. It’s an odd way to raise a child, but, if I think about it, it’s better than growing up a vagrant and worrying about raids, having enough water, and your next meal.” She huffed. “Like we’re living now. If I became a monk, I never would have ruined your life.”
Rendor moved so quickly, Shyla didn’t have time to react. He sat up, pulling her with him so she faced him.
“You didnotruin my life.” His intense gaze seared her. “I thank the Sun Goddess every sun jump that you came into my life.”
Even though she had read his soul when she’d first awoken the power of The Eyes and knew he spoke the truth, she still struggled to believe it. “But you went from captain of the guard to a grunt who shovels sand.”
“Someone told me I look ‘mighty fine’ when I shovel.” He smirked.
