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Cassidy was breathing heavily, her eyes staring up at the ceiling and fixing on the still-pink light shade above her. She turned to the sandy-blond head on the pillow beside her, a smile creeping across her face. ‘Yeah, wow,’ she murmured.
CHAPTER FIVE
8 November
THE early-morning Scottish light crept across the room. Even on the greyest days the sun’s rays sneaked through the clouds and scattered this room with light. Brad’s brain was fuzzy. Something was different. Something had changed.
Then he felt a movement beside him, and the memories of the night before crowded into his brain. Cassidy. Wow.
Then something else hit him, charging from the dark recesses of his brain, and he stifled the groan in his throat. Melody. He hadn’t told her about Melody.
He turned around in the bed, resting his hand on his arm, staring at the sleeping figure beside him. Her chestnut curls spilled across the pillow that she had wedged half under her arm as she slept on her side, facing him.
She looked beautiful. Her fair skin was smooth and unlined. Cassidy. His distraction. The woman he’d lusted after for the last month.
But his stomach clenched. He was cringing. Things in his brain just didn’t add up. If Cassidy was only a distraction, why should he tell her about Melody? There should be no need.
But he knew better than that. No matter how many times he tried to use the word ‘distraction’ for Cassidy, she was much more than that.
In the last few weeks she had crept under his skin. Hearing her voice brought a smile to his face. Knowing she was working the same shift made his whole day seem brighter. And spending time with her outside work made the days speed past. He knew her habits—she liked to take her shoes off at the door, she sat on the left-hand side of the sofa, she only watched the news on one TV channel. His mood had lifted just by being around her.
His thoughts were always with his daughter but they didn’t consume every spare second of every day.
She made him happy. Cassidy made him happy. And he was about to jeopardise all that. He knew he should have told her about Melody. He’d meant to but just hadn’t found the appropriate time.
And now, after he’d slept with her, it seemed like a dirty secret. He almost wished he’d put a photo in the doctors’ office in the ward as soon as he’d started there. But the truth was that office was used by lots of doctors and it wasn’t appropriate to put a family picture in there. And he just hadn’t been ready to answer any difficult questions about his daughter.
But now? He sagged back against the pillows. It looked as though he was hiding something. It looked as though he deliberately hadn’t trusted Cassidy enough to tell her about Melody. How awkward was this conversation going to be?
He turned his head sideways to look at her again, to look at that perfect face before he ruined everything. A tiny part of him hoped that she wouldn’t be annoyed at all. Maybe she would shrug her shoulders and tell him that it was fine?
Who was he kidding? How would he feel if the shoe was on the other foot? If Cassidy had a child she hadn’t told him about? The thought was unimaginable. He could feel himself automatically shaking his head at the idea.
Things would be perfect if he could just freeze this moment in time. Keep everything just the way it was right now. Or, even better, just the way they’d been last night. That thought sent a smile across his face. If only...
A frown appeared on Cassidy’s brow then her eyelids flickered open. Those big brown eyes that pulled him in every time. A smile appeared on her face instantly. ‘Morning,’ she whispered.
Relief flooded through him. She hadn’t woken up and panicked. She seemed happy and comfortable around him. She obviously had no regrets about the night before. Not yet, anyway.
‘Morning,’ he whispered back. He couldn’t help it. He was immediately drawn to her. He wanted to touch her, taste her skin again. He dropped a kiss on the tip of her nose.
A glint appeared in her eyes. Memories of last night? ‘Wow,’ she whispered again, her soft breath on his face.
Brad couldn’t hide the smile. Her memories were obviously as good as his. If only every morning could be like this.
Her hand crept around his neck, and as much as he wanted to pull her closer and forget about everything else, he just couldn’t. He had to get this over and done with.
He shifted backwards in the bed. ‘How about I make you some breakfast?’ His legs hit the floor before she had a chance to answer, and he pulled his underwear and jeans on rapidly. ‘What would you like? Toast? Eggs? Bacon?’
Cassidy looked confused. She pushed herself upwards in the bed and adjusted the pillows behind her. ‘I’ll have whatever you’re making,’ she said quietly.
‘Great. Give me five minutes and I’ll give you a shout. Feel free to take a shower and freshen up.’ He leaned forwards and planted another kiss on her forehead before disappearing out of the door.
Cassidy sat for a few minutes, taking deep breaths. What just happened? They’d had a fabulous night, and he’d asked her to stay over. And for a few seconds this morning when she’d woken up, everything had seemed fine. So what had made him jump out of bed like a scalded cat?
She flung back the duvet and swung her legs out of bed, wincing at the cold air in the room. There was a navy-blue dressing gown hanging up behind the bedroom door, and she wrapped it around herself, then headed to the bathroom.
She flicked the switch for the shower, grabbing an elastic band that was sitting on top of the bathroom cabinet and twisting her hair back from her face as she sat at the edge of the bath for a few moments, trying to fathom what was going on.
Was Brad regretting their night together? The thought almost made her belly ache. She couldn’t imagine anything worse. Maybe he was only interested in the thrill of the chase and once that was over...
No. No, it couldn’t be that. She’d got to know him over the last few weeks, and he didn’t seem to be like that at all. Maybe he just felt awkward because it was the first time they’d woken up together?
Yes, that could be it. Her eyes fell to the sink. Brad had obviously been in here first as he’d left her a new toothbrush and toothpaste and a huge white soft towel. She stuck her hand under the shower. It had heated up perfectly, so she stepped into the steaming water.
There was almost a tremor on her skin. Her insides were coiling, to the point of almost feeling pain. She couldn’t bear the thought of Brad wanting to walk away after their night together. And it wasn’t about the humiliation or about being used. Although those t
hings would be bad enough.
It would be the fact he didn’t feel the same connection that she did. The fact that his thoughts didn’t wander to her about a million times a day—the way hers did to him. It would be the fact he didn’t feel the constant zing between them. Those were the things she couldn’t bear.
She could still smell him on her skin and almost regretted having to wash it away, but the blue shower gel with its ocean scent reminded her of him again. She rubbed it into her body even harder, then a few minutes later stepped out of the shower and dried herself rapidly. It only took a few moments to realise she’d nothing to wear, so she padded back through to the bedroom and rummaged in a few of his drawers.
‘Cassidy! Breakfast!’
The smell was drifting through the house. Eggs, bacon and tea. Perfect.
* * *
‘Hey.’
She was standing in the doorway dressed in a pair of his grey jogging trousers and an oversized pale blue T-shirt. His clothes had never looked so sexy. Her hair was ruffled, some little strands around her neck still wet from the shower.
He pulled out a chair for her. ‘Have a seat.’ All Brad could think about right now was getting this over and done with. He had to come clean. Easier said than done.
He put the plates on the table and poured the tea while Cassidy watched him carefully. She wasn’t stupid. She knew something was going on.
She took a sip of her tea, chasing her eggs around the plate with her fork. Watching. Waiting.
Brad pressed his lips together. He reached across the table and took her hand. ‘Cass, there’s something I need to tell you.’
He could see the tiny flare of panic in her eyes that she was trying to control. She set her tea back down on the table. Her voice was steady. ‘So, what is it you want to tell me “the morning after the night before”, Brad?’
