“Really, Lex? You’re turned on right now,” Sasori scoffed with a shake of her head. She was always more prudish thanIlyas and I, but I always attributed that to her Bond status or her affinity.
Maybe I’ve just been making excuses.
I almost died and was momentarily excited about reconnecting with my Bonded—shouldn’t she want to feel close to me?
I gnawed my lip at the thought.
“This is why I told you not to get involved with the General,” Sasori practically spat, her eyes flashing dangerously as she shuddered with barely controlled rage.
“It wasn’t his fault,” I immediately defended Rohak, and Sasori cackled maniacally.
“Not his fault? Not hisfault?Lex, it’s only his fault!” She flung her arm wide, her voice reaching a decibel so loud I was certain the suite adjoining ours would be able to hear.
“Shh, keep your voice down, Sasori,” I pleaded, but she only glowered at me. Her hands tightened into fists at her sides as she glowered.
“I willnot. You almostdied, Lex. What would I do if you died, huh? A Vessel without a Mage who still has her Mage’s Bonding mark? What do you think they do to people like me, like Ilyas?” Sasori challenged, and I shook my head.
“You’d be dismissed from the army, yes. But you’d be provided an opportunity for employment elsewhere.” I’d seen it happen before, I knewexactlywhat would happen to Ilyas and Sasori.
“Always the optimist,” she snorted with derision. “No, Lex. That may happen to Ilyas, but not me. I’m from Samyr, I’d be sent back there. Back to my family to be put to whatever use they found for me. Married off to some other minor lord, no doubt.” Sasori shook her head again, her braids flopping against her back.
I didn’t see the issue with what she was explaining, nor did I find it particularly abhorrent.
“I must be missing something here, Sasori. I don’t understand?—”
“No, you don’t! That’s the whole point, Lex! You don’t understand! You tie yourself to the General, who is a dangerous Vesselless Mage, then step. In. Front. Of. Him. While he’s channeling. Without any thought as to what would happen to Ilyas and me. How dumb—how selfish—are you?” she screeched. “Thisis why we need to follow Lord d’Refan.”
I swallowed hard, a maelstrom of emotions rising. I’d grown more uncomfortable as her tirade went on and could practically feel Ilyas vibrating in anger next to me. He would hold his tongue and allow Sasori and me to hash out our differences, but only to an extent. We were balancing on a precipice, and soon, Ilyas would say something to Sasori that he wouldn’t be able to take back.
“Where were you yesterday, Sasori?” I asked, diverting the subject entirely.
Sasori blanched before scoffing loudly, crossing her arms.
“With Lord d’Refan, negotiating with Samyr for the exchange of Vessels. We need more, especially with the collapse of the mines. Samyr needs protection against the rumored rebellion in the north. Rumor has it, there is a Destruction Vessel for your precious General in the group that’s coming here.
“You need to divert your loyalty, Lex. Before it’s too late,” she said cryptically before spinning on her heel and leaving the room.
I mulled over her words, wishing for the ability to discern her truths from lies. The realization came suddenly, the force of it stealing the breath from my lungs and causing a weight to sit heavily in my stomach: I didn’t trust my Bonded. I didn’t trust Sasori’s motives or her allegiance; fuck, I didn’t even trust her tonot remove our Bond Mark—and that was the most worrying of all.
Chapter 35
Folami
Ihated everything about the northern part of Elyria.
The cooler temperatures, the abundance of green, the excessive number of cities tucked together in close proximity, the elitist attitudes.
But, most of all, I hated what the north meant to me. The memories it brought back in abundance. The ghost of metal shackles I felt around my wrists. The pain in my soul each time my Mage drew from me.
I shuddered inwardly.
We weren’t even in Vespera, nowhere near the Academy, and I still felt the vestiges of nausea. Like bile was sitting as a lump in my throat, threatening to expel at any given moment. Over the years working with Torin, he’d tried to get me to confess, to open up about my experiences as a Vessel in the Warlord’s army.
But how could I?
How could I rehash the worst parts of my life? Especially to someone who only knew love and acceptance.
I stomped across the garden-turned-training-yard, spear firmly in my grip, toward a group of younger recruits who were decidedly not taking their training seriously.
