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“You just pull the tabs, Rory. Pull ’em!”
I shot him a death stare. “I’ll pull them when I’m ready. Give me a second. I need to mentally prepare myself for this.”
He held up his hands in surrender. “This is your deal. I’ll keep my mouth shut.”
“Thank you!” I replied sharply.
My hands were shaking and my heartbeat was racing.
I took a deep breath and pulled both tabs, shifting the front of the diaper away from Presley.
Oh. Mother. Of. God.
“It’s green! Why is it green, Finn?”
When he didn’t answer, I turned to him. His face was about the same color as the baby’s poop.
“Finn! Snap out of it. I need help!”
He covered his mouth and handed me the box of wipes.
Rolling my eyes, I focused back on the diaper and nasty green contents. At least Presley had stopped crying. Taking the diaper, I wiped her down to get most of the poop off.
“Disgusting! Oh God!” Finn leaned over and started gagging. It took everything for me not to gag. Lifting Presley’s legs, I got the diaper out and handed it to Finn.
“Take this! Quick”
His face dropped. “W-what? I don’t know what to do with it!”
“Finn! Please! The trash can!”
I looked away and held my breath.
“Drop it!”
Turning, I laughed when I saw the garbage can in his hands. When he dropped the dirty diaper, I took some wipes and started to clean up Presley. Finn gagged each time he saw the green-poop-covered wipe.
“Stop gagging—you’re making me gag!” I yelled, in between gags. My stomach was not feeling right, and I had to fight hard at not throwing up.
I looked at Presley, and our blues met. When she smiled, my heart melted on the spot. The feeling of sickness instantly dissipated. Leaning closer to her, I did my best impression of baby talk.
“Did you go potty-wotty in your diaper? Did you make a stinky? Yes you did! How does a pretty little thing make such a stinky-winky poop!”
“What. Are. You. Doing?”
Glancing over my shoulder, I stared at Finn. “I’m talking to her. She likes it! She’s smiling at me.”
“She’s smiling because that nasty shit is off her.”
I frowned and went back to cleaning her up and baby-talking. I placed the new diaper under her and stared down at it.
“Does she need powder or cream or something?”
Finn walked over and looked down. Presley decided to laugh right then, and before I knew it, Finn was talking baby talk to her too.
“What, my precious little angel. Are you feeling all better-wetter? Is da princess all fresh and cwean? Is that a smile from my number one girl? Yes it is! Look at that pretty smile.”
And my ovaries just exploded.
