Girls night out, and I mean that loosely. Tonight it’s just me and Lily because Vi is at home being disgustingly in love with her grumpy security/MC man and her grumpy-faced little daughter. And I’m guessing everyone else from Boozy Book Bitches remembered that Rose Grove is not a Man Meeting Mecca. God my alliteration is on point tonight. Anyway, after a week at work and 4 nights this week babysitting the boys, I’m feeling like I’m one minor inconvenience away from crying into the free bar snacks. I’d much rather go home and hit goblin mode: old threadbare jammies, murder shows, Chinese takeout. Bliss.
“Isn’t that right Jazz?” Shit, I was most definitely not paying attention to whatever Lily was saying.
“Right, so there’s three of you. I’m guessing you left the hot sister at home then?”
What the fuck did this douchebag just say to her? “What was that?”
I look between this dick and his friend. His friend has obviously picked up what I’m putting down because at least he has the good grace to look apologetic. Dick, however, in hisstriped polo shirt, strained over his gut and tucked into his khakis hasn’t quite figured out what danger he may be in.
“I said, did you leave the hot sister at home? I mean, you two are pretty, but you’d be much hotter if you lost 10, maybe 20 pounds.”
“You’re not a prize catch either buddy. Are you worried about size because our weight combined with your gut equals two fat bellies and a short connection?” I watch with growing glee as his face starts getting alarmingly red.
“What did you just say, bitch?” he growls, yeasty beer breath hitting me directly in my face.
Out of the corner of my eye my sister is flagging down the bartender and this guy’s friend tries to pull him back. He leans in, ranting at me. I may or may not have yelled back. Oh OK, yes, I yelled back and then made a big song and dance about how small his dick is. Because come on! With a belly overhang that big it is most definitely covering the goods.
“Those pretty faces are such a fucking waste on fat bitches like you. And to think, I was going to pity fuck your sister,” he spits.
I could blame what happens next on my being tired. Or on PMS. However, shark week was last week so I have no real motives for why I pull back and punch this guy smack in his doughy, pink face. Blood explodes out of his nose and he starts making this high-pitched sound, like those camp tea kettles, before he takes a couple of deep breaths, not through his nose though, obviously.
“You broke my nose, you bitch!”
I just smirk at him and shrug my shoulders. He gets in my face again, spitting mad. I draw my fist back once more when a large, warm hand wraps around my wrist. Oh hell no! I whirl in the direction of the man holding me, stopping dead in my tracks.
“Jasmine Davies,” Nitro’s smooth voice comes out on a growl.
My eyes dart to Fox at his side, then back to his dark gaze. “I’ll do anything if you promise not to tell my brother!”
“That fat bitch broke my nose!” Pencil dick whines, shoving me out of the way.
I stumble and can feel myself veering dangerously to the sticky floor. This is gonna suck.
“Oof,” a grunt escapes me as two warm, large hands wrap around my biceps, lifting me as if I don’t weigh nearly as much as I do, depositing me on my feet.
“You OK, sweetheart?” Fox asks gently, chocolate eyes searching my face.
I nod, then turn to hit pencil dick when he calls me a “fat bitch” again.
“Hey, let’s head outside,” Fox says, a smile playing on his lips.
Nitro roughly grips pencil dick, ignoring his complaints as Fox and I follow them through the writhing bodies on the dancefloor, Lily gripping my hand as she joins us.
Nitro mumbles something to Fox, who answers just before he pushes the door open with his foot, leading us into the cool night air.
“She’s crazy, Officer!”
“Deputy,” Nitro’s voice says in a bored tone.
“Oh, Deputy. Anyway, she’s crazy! I bought her fat sister a drink and the next thing I know she’s assaulting me!”
I can’t help the indelicate snort that comes flying out of my nose. So forceful a snort in fact that it scratches the inside of my throat on its way out and sends me into a coughing fit in front of two hot guys in uniform. It’s so unfair. I thought they were damned hot in their MC cuts, but in uniform? Dios mio! I hunch over, coughing like I’m dying but I don’t miss the pitying lookFox gives me as my sister uses her big Hulk hands to pound on my back.
I take a moment, then clear my throat, “OK, Nitro-”
“Deputy Gardiner.”
I stare at him for a moment wondering if he’s serious. He most definitely is so I roll my eyes and try again. “OK, DeputyGardiner, I admit I hit him. But he was being an insufferable douchebag and he called us fat. I then made a statement questioning his weight and he got very aggressive.” I look up at him, wide eyed.
