I look away and shake my head as heat flushes my cheeks.
Amos throws me off balance, and that may be affecting my judgement. But if he wants to take the boy, there's nothing I can do to prevent it without a very good reason. At least Sam will be with family.
"It's not going to be easy," I say gently. "Especially as a serving member of the military."
"I know," he says. "Which is why I've asked to be discharged."
I gap at him. "You're giving up your military career?"
"If that's what it takes."
I sit back in my chair and look at the man before me. Really look at him. He stares back at me with an expression that's all determination. He wants this. He really wants this.
"Why?"
Amos huffs out a long breath and glances out the window.
"I was three years old when Jake was born, and I was fascinated by my little brother. Mom would bring his bassinet out to thegarden while she got on with the weeding or pruning the roses, and I would try to help her.
"One day, she cut her finger on a thorn. She went into the house to clean it up and I heard the phone ring--it must have delayed her. It was one of those still summer afternoons, and the only sounds were birds and crickets.
"I wandered over to my brother and looked into the bassinet. His lips were tinged blue, and he was very still. Something didn't seem right, but I didn't know what. I reached into the bassinet to pick him up, and he didn't move. He was all floppy.
"I screamed and screamed until Mom ran out of the house. When she saw Jake, she scooped him up and whacked him on the back. He started to choke, then started breathing again. It must have only been thirty seconds. But it was the worst, most terrifying thirty seconds of my life.
"From then on, I knew there were things in the world I couldn't control. And that there were a hundred different ways harm could come to my brother. I knew Mom couldn't always be everywhere at once. From that moment on, I knew I would always look out for my brother. I would do whatever it took to protect him."
He swallows hard and looks out the window. When he speaks again, his voice is thick with emotion.
"In the end, I couldn't protect Jake. He followed me into the Navy. I was meant to be on that mission, the last mission he was on. But I was called out. I have..." He frowns and taps his fingers on the desk. "...special expertise, and sometimes I'm needed elsewhere."
His fist comes down on the table.
"If you see me being angry, Alana, it's because I am angry. When it came down to it, I couldn't protect my brother. I failed him. And now he's dead. But I will not fail his son."
He leans forward, and his gaze bores into me
"Whatever hoops I have to jump through for Jake's son, I'll do it. To honor Jake's memory. And to protect his son the way I couldn't protect him. I just need some time to get my place ready. Give me a week, and I'll be ready."
My heart softens for this man, for the heartache that clings to him.
"It will be hard," I tell him. "But if this is what's best for Sam, then I'll help you make it happen."
Relief floods his expression. He reaches across the table and clasps my hand. Heat courses up my body, and I gasp at the touch.
"Thank you."
He squeezes my hand, and the fluttering in my stomach intensifies.
I'll help Amos. I'll do it for Sam. And I'll make sure this stupid fluttering in my stomach doesn't get in the way.
6
AMOS
The engine hums as I pull my SUV onto my parents' street. As I turn into their driveway, I run my hand over the leather steering wheel.
I'll never know why my little brother left his house to Ed and his car to me. Now that Ed and Avery are together, I'm wondering if Jake saw something that I didn't, or even they didn't.
