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“Wait a second,” I said. “Really big crows—you mean ravens?”
“What’s the difference?”
The knowledge wasn’t common. The only reason I knew was because I’d done a report in eighth-grade science. Never thought that bit of trivia would come in handy.
“Ravens and crows aren’t the same,” I said. “You could call a raven a crow, since they’re in the crow family, but all crows aren’t ravens.”
“How can you tell them apart?”
“Ravens are about the size of a hawk and crows are more like pigeons.”
“So people’s complaints about really big crows are probably not about crows at all.”
“Probably not, although I hardly think it matters in this case.”
“True.” He moved on. “I sent some of the guys out to check on the folks who don’t have phones.”
“Good.” I began thumbing through my messages. Cal’s silence made me glance up. The expression on his face made me set the messages down. “What?”
“One of them was dead.”
“Who?”
“Orel Vandross.”
“He was still alive?” The guy had to be a hundred.
“Until yesterday. According to the report, the officer found him in his bed.”
“That’s the way to go—in your own bed near the century mark.”
“Definitely. The funeral home picked him up. There won’t be a service. His family’s gone and his friends, too.”
“That’s too bad.”
“I don’t think he’ll care.”
I cast Cal a sharp glance. Sometimes his gallows humor, no doubt learned on the front lines of several nasty wars, startled even me.
“I had another joke on my desk this morning,” Cal said.
“Already?”
The Chuck Norris joke bandit had struck just yesterday with the ditty: When the boogeyman goes to sleep he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Cal handed me a sheet of paper and I steeled myself before reading: Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
I bit my lip to keep from laughing. Cal didn’t seem at all amused.
“I don’t get it,” he said. “Why would Burger King make a Big Mac?”
The man was so literal sometimes, he scared me.
“Anyone see who put that on your desk?” I asked.
“No, and I haven’t had a chance to check the security camera. Not that it’ll make a difference.”
No matter how many times we ran over the security tapes, we never saw anyone put the jokes on Cal’s desk. Which was impossible. Nevertheless, new jokes continued to appear.
