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“But—” I open my mouth to tell him that there has to be something that we can do, but I’m immediately cut off.
“Just shut up!”
I raise my eyebrows and my mouth falls open. He’s never spoken to me like that before, so it catches me off guard. It’s like the Jared I’ve known all these years is slowly disappearing, and this new, enraged version of him is taking over.
I bite my bottom lip when it begins to quiver and turn my head away. I can’t even look at him right now, because if I do, I know I’ll burst into tears, and judging from his mood, that’s the last thing he needs from me right now. Tears in this instance won’t solve anything.
We don’t say another word to one another for the rest of the ride home. I stay on the opposite side of the truck away from him and don’t dare to slide over into my normal place next to him on the bench seat. It doesn’t feel like a spot I’d be very welcomed in right now anyhow.
Jared skids to a stop in front of my house. I glance over at him, and he sits there looking straight ahead, not even so much as glancing in my direction. The anger I get. Being pissed off that his scholarship was yanked away over an irresponsible, impulsive act I completely understand too. But what I don’t get is why he’s taking his anger out on me. All I want to do is help him. I don’t know why he can’t see that.
“Jared . . .” I say, hoping that my voice, pleading his name, will help him get through whatever anger cloud surrounds his rational mind to let him know that, no matter what, I still care about him and love him.
“Get out, London. This, for once, isn’t about you, so don’t make it out to be like it is. I’m not going to talk about how I’m completely falling short on everything I planned to do—not with you—not with anyone—so just get out of the truck. I don’t need your shit right now.” His words are ice cold, and once again I feel the tears brewing, but I know this definitely isn’t the time to release any of my emotion.
Instead, I keep my mouth shut and get out like he asks. The second I slam the door, he mashes the gas and tears off down the street, bypassing his house and going God knows where.
It’s quiet inside my house, which is nothing new. Dad always seems to be at work these days. I’m always out and about, and I guess he likes to stay busy. The stillness provides absolutely no distraction, and my thoughts immediately drift to Jared. He needs help, and I’m not sure who the best person to do that is. He has friends, but he always tells me that I’m his best friend
—the one person that he confides everything in. The guys on the team are his friends too, but they’re not close. There’s only one other person that I know who’s as close to Jared as I am.
I sigh as I pick up the cordless phone in my living room. Wes answers the Krafts’ phone on the third ring.
“Wes, it’s London,” I tell him. “I’m worried about Jared.”
“Join the club,” Wes says. “He barely speaks to Mom or me, and whenever we try to talk to him about Dad or what’s going on with his scholarship, it turns into a huge shouting match. Mom is worried sick. Have you tried talking to him?”
“Yeah, I tried to, and today didn’t go so well with the dean. Jared stormed out—nearly left me behind—and then all but threw me out of the truck when he dropped me off. I’m worried, Wes. It’s like he’s becoming a different person.”
He’s quiet for a few moments, but then he says, “I really don’t know what to do, London. I want to be there for him, but I’m grieving too—so is Mom, and not once has Jared showed any concern for us. It’s like he’s got it in his head that he’s the only one who lost Dad. He’s being a selfish dick. He’s making it really hard for me to care about the way he’s screwing his life up.”
He’s frustrated—it’s coming through his tone loud and clear, and that worries me. What Wes is saying is true. Jared is being unbelievably selfish right now, but we need to try and look past that to help him if we can. He needs us.
I pick at the bracelet on my wrist as I think carefully about what I need to say next. “You can’t give up on him, Wes, even if you think you want to, you just can’t. He’s your brother, and even though he’s not showing it right now, he loves you and Julie so much. I don’t know how we can help him if he won’t let us, but we have to keep trying. We’re all he’s got.”
A rush of air blows into the phone. “Did he tell you anything about how the meeting went today?”
I twist my lips, reliving earlier today in my head and how much it hurt to see Jared so torn up over the whole situation. “They’re yanking his scholarship and he’s off the team. Without baseball . . . it’s like he’s lost and yet another thing’s been taken away from him. God, Wes . . .” I take a deep breath because it’s hard to think about just how cold Jared was toward me in his truck. “Jared’s freaked out. I’ve never seen him like this before, and I’m concerned that he might try and do something stupid. I’m really worried about him.”
There’s a long pause as Wes takes in everything I’ve said. “Do you have any idea where he might’ve gone? I can go look for him.”
“With how enraged he was earlier, I have no clue. I just hope he didn’t go out looking for drugs again, even though he promised me that he will never do that again. Jared developing a drug problem is something we definitely don’t need at this point. He’s dealing with enough already, and he doesn’t need to compound things.”
“Will you be at your house?” he asks.
“Yeah, I want to stay here in case he comes back and decides he wants to talk.”
“Okay, then I’ll go out and look for him.”
I bite my bottom lip, glad to have Wes to lean on in this situation. “Thank you, Wes.”
“No problem. I’ll take Mom’s cell phone. Call me if he comes back.”
With that, he hangs up and I’m left with nothing to do but wait.
The minutes turn to hours, and the day bleeds into the evening without any sign of Jared. Finally, close to midnight, headlights shine in through the window as Wes’s car pulls into my driveway. I glance down the street and frown the minute I don’t spot any sign of Jared’s truck following behind Wes’s car.
Wes shoves his hands into the front pockets of his jeans while his head hangs low, causing his sandy-blond hair to fall into his eyes. Judging by his stance, I don’t think he found any trace of his brother.
