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Suzie Q’s eyes light up, and she punches my shoulder. “Sweet! Are you going to tap that? I want video if you do. I bet she’s all kinds of freaky.”

I roll my eyes and laugh. “Hate to burst your bubble, but I turned her down.”

She sighs, clearly unhappy with my answer. “You turn down every single chick that comes in here. Why is that? You still got a thing going with that girl I spotted you with on campus when I first met you?”

The mere mention of London causes my back to stiffen. That’s been the hardest part about starting over—trying to pretend that every beat of my heart isn’t dedicated to loving London—but I can’t be with her when I can’t be myself. I don’t even know who I am anymore. How can I ask her to continue to love a man that neither of us really knows? Dad dying shook the foundation of my life, and London was integral to that part of me. I need to start over, figure out who I am, before I can possibly even begin to fathom moving on. It wouldn’t have been fair of me to ask London to wait around until I figured my shit out. I still feel so lost inside. If only Dad were here so I could call him up and get some advice about the situation.

The last thought trips me up. If Dad were still here, I doubt I would be in this situation in the first place. Losing him is what started me on this downward spiral and pushed me into that dark place where I lost my head and acted crazy for a while.

I feel like I’m just now beginning to think straight, and being out of the situation and away from everyone who reminds me of how things used to be has allowed me to get my head a little clearer. I’ve still got a long way to go.

I shake my head. “No. There’s absolutely nothing going on between her and me.”

She raises one eyebrow. “Well, then, I think it’s time to live it up, starting with that blond with amazing tits who’s been eye-fucking you since we stepped on stage.”

“Where?” I ask as I turn and scan the crowd.

Suzie Q raises her hand and points her index finger to the other side of the room, where a blond woman sits at the bar in a too-short skirt and her breasts practically hanging out of her top. The moment we make eye contact she licks her lips, and there’s no doubt what she wants from me.

I swallow hard. If I go through with this—if I sleep with this woman—she will be the only person I’ve ever been with other than London. But I’ve got to force London out of my mind. I can’t allow myself to think about her anymore. Come hell or high water, I must embrace this new life, regardless of if I’m still irrevocably in love with London. It’s the only way I can move on.

Almost as if on autopilot, I head in the blond’s direction. She grins, revealing nearly perfect white teeth, clearly happy that I’m heading her way.

“Get it,” Suzie Q shouts in encouragement as I walk away.

I take a seat next to her at the bar, and at first I feel uneasy about flirting with her—it feels wrong—but I push through the odd feeling and give her my most charming smile after I order a drink. “Did you enjoy the show?”

Her eyes light up. “Oh, yeah. I particularly liked watching you. The way you move when you play, topped off by the way you sing—it’s hypnotic.”

The compliment causes me to genuinely smile as the bartender sets my beer in front of me. “Thanks. That’s always a great thing to hear.”

“I mean that. You’re total eye candy, and I wouldn’t mind taking a bite of you,” she says as she leans in and places a hand on my biceps. “Just like I thought?

??you’re totally buff. Your muscles are huge. Does the rest of you match?”

I choke on my beer and quickly set it down on the bar. “Wow. You don’t fuck around, do you?”

“I’m a cut-right-to-the-chase kind of girl. When I see something that I want, I just go for it, full throttle.”

I quirk one brow. “And what is it exactly that you want from me?”

Her grin turns devilish. “I think you already know the answer to that question. The question is, are you willing to give it to me?”

I take another swallow of my beer and then set it back down. I’ve had my fair share of women throwing themselves at me when I was in college playing ball, but nothing compares to the women in the rock scene. They all seem so willing.

This is like every man’s fantasy—approach the hot blond and have her be ready and willing in that very moment. This chick has made it very clear to me she wants to fuck. The question is: Do I want to go through with it?

I nod toward her empty glass. “Buy you a drink?”

She licks her lips seductively. “You can give me whatever you want, sugar.”

About an hour and five beers later, I find the blond sitting on my lap. Her arm is thrown around my neck, and every now and then she leans in and presses her lips to some of my exposed flesh. Her fingers idly trail up and down my chest. The more we sit here in this bar together, the more both of us are getting turned on and the easier the idea of fucking this woman becomes.

Soon, I think the woman’s patience with me expires, because she hops off my lap and grabs my hand. “Come with me.”

I follow her in my drunken haze and allow her to pull me all the way outside. When the cool night air washes over me, I find myself being pushed back against the brick wall and attacked with lips.

Completely lost in the moment, I allow my hands to slide down her back to find her ass and squeeze each of her cheeks. This only excites her more, and she hitches one leg on my hip and grinds her pussy against my crotch.

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